There is something special about the first of anything, but added to this being South Africa’s first event to “take back the streets”, there was the excitement for me to run through the streets of the city I love because it is so African.

Hillbrow, the suburb known for its lawlessness, was the highlight of the route for me. The running crowd was understandably demographically skewed but that didn’t reduce the enthusiasm of the crowds who were lining the streets, running alongside us, hanging out of windows, blowing vuvuzelas and egging us on! Now that’s a side of Hillbrow I’m sure many of the runners had never seen!

Thanks to Brittany Preece (@BrittPreece) of Fleischman Hillard, along with Nike (@NikeRunningZA), for the amazing opportunity to participate in this race and share it with the entire #FollowSA Twitter community. Not only were #FollowSA tweeps in the supporting crowds but many were following the story on Twitter and rooting for us from a distance. Thanks to all 35 of you! Once again a large number came from Cape Town despite it being another Jozi event. All the support from the sidelines meant the world to the runners.

A special thanks to Jacques (@jaakOrilla) who provided #FollowSA stickers for the race and to Sam Cowen (@samcowen) for so willingly joining the #FollowSA team and keeping us entertained during the wait at the start. Apologies to those who volunteered to run with the sticker and who I couldn’t get to, especially Kate (@this_kate) and Chris (@SawyerBean21).

Here are the stats:
35 people from the #FollowSA community got in on the #RunJozi action
Together we generated 377 mentions.
This amounts to 11.8% of the mentions on the night, from 2.4% of the tweeps.

So, what’s next? Perhaps some trail running? Another road run…the Two Oceans?

BTW, my (@ohgodknows) official time from gun start was 1 hour. What was yours?

“Every day I see more people discovering the potential of #FollowSA and the Twitter Timeline is filled with connections, friendships and support,” says Shaer.

What began as a Tweet that connected two South Africans together has now grown into the hashtag that is active daily, with its slogan, “bringing people together online to form communities’ offline”, with #FollowSA meetups having an annual calendar of events.

The first #FollowSA Tweetup was launched at the Crowne Plaza Johannesburg hotel on August 31^st 2011 and ended the year at the breathtaking settings of La Vie en Rose in Illovo with #downdown2011. Shaer tells of her constant attempts at trying to get funding for these events in order to cater for the attendees. “Although we are generously supported with venues and prizes, we had not managed to get cash funding for any past events and wanted our guests to experience the complete package that is La Vie en Rose,” says Shaer.

With hundreds of individuals supporting #FollowSA and over 250 people Tweeting about the #downdown2011 event, celebrity and supporter of the hashtag, Emmanuel Castis, stepped forward to assist with sourcing cash funding and introduced 8ta to @jodenecoza. “8ta took the first step in changing the face of #FollowSA with a cash donation for catering. The stats show that the move was a good one with over 1000 Tweets about the #downdown2011 events, with many of those mentions including the 8ta Twitter Handle, @8tada.

The new trend of catered events was embraced by the Protea Hotels Fire and Ice Melrose Arch and the year’s #FollowSA Tweetups kicked off with a fully catered affair for #Howzit2012. “Anton Gillis, the General Manager of Fire and Ice, pulled out all the stops and Tweets praised the catering, hospitality and venue as the most successful Tweetup South Africa has seen,” says Shaer.

#Howzit2012 was the largest recorded #FollowSA event with over 130 guests and over 2000 Tweets on the day and continuing into the next 24 hours with post event hype. Much of the excitement was thanks to the phenomenal entertainment by Caitlin the Electric Violinist and the generous sponsorship by Lovoka, welcoming guests with a signature adult milkshake which is renowned at the Fire and Ice Melrose Arch hotel.
“I’m always graciously touched by the celebrities who are so willing to partake in #FollowSA and thank Sibu Radebe and Crushanda Forbes for starting out as guests and ending up taking the stage to add that extra touch for the prize winner,” says Shaer.

With countless Capetonians wanting in on the #FollowSA Tweetups, Travel.co.za jumped onboard to fly the founders Jodene Shaer and Greg Arthur to Cape Town. Once again, the generosity of Protea Hotels spills over to Fire and Ice Cape Town for the #HowzitCPT Tweetup on the 17^th of February. Emmanuel Castis will be joining the Joburgers on their trip to the Mother City and entertaining the crowds for the event.

“#FollowSA has more on the cards,” says Shaer, “with Durban and Pretoria events in the wings and Johannesburg’s first family day. We will also be putting together our first of many teams to walk the Deloitte Pretoria marathon and hope to extend that to challenges that supports charities nationwide.”
#FollowSA have already hosted a food drive for Nkosi’s Haven and in the midst of December holidays the generosity of the Twitter community collected R20 000 worth of food to see the Haven through the festive season.

Shaer recognised by the international technology blog, Mashable, as an official event organiser and #FollowSA will be hosting International Social Media event across the nation on June 30^th, along with countries all over the world.

While Cape Town gears up for its first event, Joburg is planning March 2012 at Newscafe in Woodmead. For all #FollowSA events subscribe to the public Google calendar.

For more on #FollowSA read What is #FollowSA?

(Photos taken by Pat Sloane Photography)

If you’d like to download any of these photos, you can do so here.

(Photos taken by Pat Sloane Photography)

If you’d like to download any of these photos, you can do so here.

This is the first time in my life that I have been struck by a combination of illness and medication that has severely tampered with my sex drive. It has become so extreme that I have removed myself from the dating scene at the present moment and I am relieved that I am single.

The warnings are on all the medication packs and it is a well known fact that illness can tamper with our sex drive. Added to that, I have a physical injury where my lower back is taking months to recover and the last thing my body wants is sex. I didn’t consciously decide that, believe me. I miss being sexual and long for the desire to orgasm. Over the years I have gone on a journey of learning to love and know my physical body and relate to myself sexually and I know the importance of touch and self stimulation, however the spark and need has gone.

I am also an advocate for spreading the message that masturbation and the orgasm is one of the greatest gifts you can give the body in the healing process. It is brilliant for stress, insomnia, depression and even helps with pain at times. Without getting too scientific, the nerves run from the sexual organs and up the spine and send messages to the brain in order to feel sexual or stimulated. When there is any kind dis-ease the last thing the brain is interested in and sometimes the hardest thing for the brain to register are sexual messages.

I surrendered to the reality for months, but after a while I began to feel disconnected from my body and that added a new level of stress and anxiety. We are not programmed like some animals that have mating seasons and only have sexual desires at specific intervals. As a matter of fact, for the health of our sexual organs, we should be sexually stimulated every 3 to 4 days. Yes, that is how often the nerves should send the message to the brain and the desire to either have sex or masturbate should be triggered. If not there are an array of reasons why. Not to panic because the body does have a natural flushing system to help us out. My concern is more about the lack of desire to give our bodies the stimulations it craves and the euphoric release it deserves.

Our bodies were designed to orgasm and we are programmed to be sexual. I have had reports from people on very high doses of medication who should not have the ability to feel sexual stimulation at all and when they have felt the chemistry for another person … well, what do you know! It is possible but far too few of us tell our doctors, therapists or partners about the lack of sex drive. It might be scary or shameful, but someone is there to help.
Once you acknowledge it and admit it, remind yourself that an orgasm is your human right and you want it, then the journey of self discovery can begin. No matter the extent of the trauma, drama or apathy I assure you that there are solutions. Sometimes the intervention of a sexologist or the awareness of your doctors is a vital part of the process, but there are some things that no one can help you with at all: Experiencing your orgasm!

No matter how non sexual we might feel, there is a gift that you can give your body that might even help in triggering the memory of your body’s needs. Touch your body with intention.
I began by focusing on my body while in the shower. It didn’t matter that I was still in agony, I washed myself with tenderness and tried to imagine a sexual experience. Some days all it did was frustrate me, but that is still stimulation of the brain, so don’t shy away from it.

I did the same with applying body lotion and after a while I began to focus more on gently stroking the more intimate parts of my body. Even when I was bed-ridden for a time, I never stopped touching. I never stopped dragging my tired and weary mind to my sexual organs and continued to remind myself that I am a sexual being. Remember that the brain is programmed by conscious thought and just the thought of sexual acts (even without touching or feeling stimulated) are all a part of the healing process. Touch without arousal is also a trigger for the brain to fire up those sexual sparks and help prepare you for the day when you wake and go “Hmmm … what’s that old feeling?”

In the worst of times when you can’t even bring yourself to shower with much self awareness, call for assistance. If you have a partner then ask them to wash your hair, help you bath, rub your back with cream or stroke your sexual organs (without it leading to sex). Go for a massage and allow yourself to feel the power of touch. Stand in the shower and be aware of the water running over your body. It’s not as much about the act of touch than turning the attention of the mind to power of touch.

Lastly, never stop imaging! When the thought of any physical contact to your body is too much to handle, then allow your mind to wander to those intimate places. Imagine a healed you with sexual desires and trust that your body will remember its natural needs and desires.

Please remember that you are not alone and that you can contact me privately: jodene@lifeology.biz for support. More importantly, speak to someone who understands: a sexologist or tell your doctor, lover or closest friend. You will be surprised how many of us are out there and how much it helps to know you are not alone and you CAN indulge in the magic of your sexuality no matter the history or present chaos your body or mind has been through!

Research shows that social networking has not taken away from the need for human contact. It might have made communicating easier and turned the world into a village, but it is impossible for it to replace who we intrinsically are.

As women, we are intuitive and have a natural instinct to protect ourselves and those who are precious to us. Sadly, the reputation of online dating and meeting partners through social networks is receiving a poor reputation at a rapid rate. It might be a popular form of meeting potentials, but is it laced with doubt and fear?

From my experience and within my circle of friends, we all have the same issue: no one introduces singles anymore. It has become a sink or swim world of and we have all gathered at the online dating pool party.

I believe that everything is born out of a need and hopefully with the best of intention and the same applies for social networking and online dating. It was not designed to keep us safe, be the one place to show a little confidence or replace our intuition. When an incompatible character walks up to us in a bar, our instincts send out a signal and we are out of there in a flash. We do not talk to someone who is not our type and have a chat just in case their personality outshone chemistry. If we are not certain of our intuition then we tap into a different type of instinct and look at the potential date through different eyes: we have a way of sniffing out the married ones by looking for wedding rings and tan lines on the ring finger. We can tell if our mothers would approve by their offer to buy us a drink or take last seat in the bar.

No, not everyone is cheating, lying or looking for a casual fling. For every action there is a reaction and if you are sincerely open to finding love in the world of social networking then chances are that your equal is out there too.

What is the problem then? Where are the ones who are sincerely looking for love?

I am slowly recovering from a back injury and the one bit of advice I was given was to avoid a back brace at all costs. It was explained to me that it only weakens the body’s natural need to support itself. Eventually the muscles stop doing their job and the body relies on the brace. The same goes for our intuition and the reliance on social networking as a way of screening people instead of relying on our instincts. We know when something is going somewhere almost immediately. If this is untrue then I would not have uttered and heard the words: “I should have known” or “I saw it coming” or “I had a feeling” so often in my dating life.

Granted, intuition takes practice because of our past experiences and lack of trust in our own ability to judge. We have no idea who to give a chance, who to take a risk on, whether to go on the date or if someone’s intentions are sincere. Your truth is that you do know, you are either too scared to listen or do not know how.

Without destroying my sincere belief that happiness can be found through social networks, I decided to create a few guidelines for online dating that I used for myself. Maybe they apply to you and maybe you need to create your own, but the bottom line is that chatting for months online or seeing if they are real on webcam is like wearing a back brace. It is the false sense of security for fear of trusting your intuition, throwing yourself out there and knowing within moments if you want to return the gesture as if that person where approaching your from across a crowded room.

• If your initial instinct (the one you have within 2.2 seconds) is to run … then run.
• Pay your fees. The higher the price the more you get rid of those people who are just looking for a good time.
• If there is only one picture and they are not prepared to send you another then be weary. If there is no picture at all then I don’t even bother. I am hoping that you are not hiding yours either. If you are afraid of being open and honest in your online dating profile then I would suggest researching alternative methods of meeting singles purely because we attract the very things we fear.
• Make friends on Facebook or another social network with personal details and do it sooner than later. Once again, if that is an issue then warning bells should go off in your gut. In my experience this is the one that warns of an individual who is hiding something big, like a family.
• Unless you are looking for the same thing, do not webcam too soon. This usually gets rid of a large amount of individuals who are hoping for a bit of visual action.
• If you are uneasy to give your telephone number or give your own access to your social networks then work out if you have become that feared sceptic or if you already have the intuitive signals to move on.
• Try talk on the phone within a few online chats because that is what our natural instincts rely on. It is very hard to interpret temperament or mood without using our senses.
• Always stay within integrity of your intentions. If you are looking for long term then stick to that and do not stress about the who will run a mile when they read that on your profile. The right one will not run. Trust me … I have scared many a man off in my dating time.
• Do not fall for the ‘looking for long term’ promise when the request for something physical is offered before dinner is suggested. On the other hand, do not forget the power of chemistry.
• If the conversation is dragging then it is going to do so in person too. I try avoid the one word answers types, but then again I do love to talk.
• Once you are talking then talk. Do not hide behind technology because it is a safe space or has become the norm. Take the lead and answer a sms with a call. No, we are not bunny boilers if we make the call.
• Either we have moved with the times or we have not. Ask them out, take the communication lead and make the call. If you are not feeling comfortable then remind yourself that the right one will not run.
• Make sure you are treated online as you would want to be treated in a relationship. If you do not like the topics of conversation of temperament online then you will not like the person.
• Nothing is as it seems if it is not brought into reality early on in the meeting. I once nearly packed up my life and moved across the world after being asked to. When I reserved the ticket he was horrified that I had actually taken him seriously. Yes, I did say that I knew it all along.
• If you are going to put yourself out there and date then make it clear. Do not stop all communication with one person while you go for coffee for another. Let everyone know so that you do not end up hiding anything or falling out of integrity with yourself. We attract what we send out there, so I go for open and honest.
• Most importantly, trust yourself. We have a 6^th sense and we are not so blind to our own needs that we would walk ourselves into a trap of misery and deception. It is only when we do no trust that intuition that dating online becomes a pool of deceit and misery.

How do I know?
Because in two months time my sister marries the man of her dreams … the one she met on Facebook. Better yet, he lived out of town and she climbed on a plane when her intuition spoke to her. I watched her kiss many frogs and go on countless failed dates from online dating. Trust me, her dating woes nearly scared me off dating for life, until I reminded myself of something: Social networks are like hanging out at a pool party. I began trusting my intuition as though they were approaching me from across the room and have had some beautiful and long lasting relationships that began with an online wink.

This article was originally written for and posted on She’s the geek.