Here it is in the words of my low self esteem - project me day 149

Tomorrow I will blog about today and how this feeling has gone on a little too long, but right now I have to blog about yesterday and the straw that broke the camel's back.
Admittedly, it was easy for me to get myself lost in the party preparations for Greggie's birthday week and the build-up to the trailer trash party. It was a fabulous way of escaping a whole lot of things that have been weighing me down and I've totally been avoiding communicating and dealing with ... but those are all of today's realisations. I first have to expose the final straw ... or is that straws? (more…)

We can all do a little trashy and pics to prove it - project me day 148


There are so many special gifts that Greggie has given me in the 6 years of our friendship, but one of the best is the ability to have fun, let go and live. His themed parties are just one way that he is a gift to more than just me. This years's theme ... Trailer trash!

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When all else fails, blame Uranus - project me day 147

While innocently preparing for Greggie's birthday party, there has?definitely?been a cloud of gloom, confusion and?trepidation?that both of us have been feeling about our own personal lives. It's very seldom that both of us feel flat and apprehensive at the same time and even more unusual that we can't shake the feeling within a few days. But wait ... there's more ... friends all around us have also been feeling more unsettled than usual. A lot are beginning discover issues around their health, their relationships and their life's choices. It's never more visible than the Facebook status's that are all a little more fiery and desperate!
OMG ... dare I say that even the tone my usually chilled out blog has an air of ... um ... well ... ? (more…)

Fake it till you make it - project me day 146

I can't believe it's nearly 7pm and I haven't had one moment to blog about yesterday ... what, with all the birthday party planning.

As always, Greggie has given his friends the greatest gift of all ... a reason to forget about the world, our consciousness, our inhibitions and our baggage. He has made sure that the theme for his party brings out the best (well actually the worst) in us and that we are all sure to leave our problems at the door. (more…)

One bad mood and the medicine that fixed it - project me day 145

A culmination of events, including the router for the internet connection going down, created a day worthless of any reason to smile. Well, that's what I thought until Greggie and I had to travel to the other side of Johannesburg (basically the west rand, when we live in the midst of the north). It just happens to be the only place where we were able to have the router checked and serviced. (more…)

I don't wanna talk about it - project me day 144

It's nearly the end of day 145 and I've managed to stall blogging as long as I can. Truth be told, it's the first time since the beginning 'project me' that I haven't had an ounce of inclination to blog.

Seriously, I just don't wanna talk about it. (more…)

Aliens, scabs, hits and old things - project me day 143

In a time where I'm trying to focus less on being so goalless about my website rankings and more on being purposeful about the reason why the rankings are important, I'm finding myself surrounded by ranking chaos. Just as I settle my heart about one thing, then another creeps up. This time in the form of Alexa stats. I'm naturally?competitive and have had to work very hard this year at not allowing that cloud my purposefully, goalless year. Then don't throw stats in my way when I'm like 200,000 behind. (more…)

Happy birthday week, Greggie - project me day 142

Let the celebrations begin!
In true style, Greggie passionately gets swept away by build up of his birthday and has never been shy to indulge in the blessings of turning another year older. Yes, he actually gets excited about his age. He totally gets excited that it's his birthday and of course, he claims an entire week. (more…)

Attention: Want it! Don't want it! - project me day 141

The tattoo is healing so nicely thanks to the nappy rash cream (yep, that was the instruction from Pepi), a whole lot of care and attention from my gentle mom's applications of the ointment, Greggie's super thick applications and my brother's 'slap it on and smear' ones. I've also kept my hair tied up, considering the feeling of one hair touching it sends the coldest shivers down my spine and I don't feel like greasy hair for the next few days. I've also kept it open and worn low back t-shirts in the middle of freakin' winter. Needless to say, it's very exposed and drawing attention. (more…)

Who has the right Google formula? - project me day 140

I'm no different to anyone else when it comes to wanting rankings and hopes to find myself and my business on the first page of Google. I have stories about SEO 'experts' and formulas that have been offered to me to make sure that I'm up there with the best of the best.
Of course I was aware of the benefits of blogging daily when I started 'project me'. On the other hand, living a year goallessly and making sure that I had fun above all else and lived with consciousness ... when that didn't allow room for becoming obsessed with rankings. (more…)