Admittedly I didn't wake up feeling much better than I had gone to sleep. Feeling sorry for myself and wanting some magic want to rush through time and get me to the point where there aren't financial stresses and I'm done breaking into the industry, with a flush bank account.
There's something very special about the person in your life telling you to get over yourself, get your ass out of bed and dragging you off to your business partner's house even if your bottom lip is dragging behind the car.
In all my frustrations, I still had a business brainwave last night and told that to Greggie first before being a total drama queen and telling him I didn't want to carry on anymore. Of course I do ... we all know that by now. I did have a mission today. I had to catch up on a whole lot of work that I didn't get through because of my lower than low day yesterday. It had to do with a lot of emails for 'your project me story' that is seriously going live on air this Sunday. We also have the first Cape Town#FollowSA event on the 17th and I haven't even begun to get through the list of South African peeps in the Mother City that I need to invite. Greggie and I were talking today and we know that in the end I won't have to send out dozens of invites to the #FollowSA events because everyone will be keeping their eye out for them.
I've tried to do the to do list in outlook and I've also tried to keep on on my phone. There was even a Google option and the bouncing between pages or not being able to scribble off a list when the task is complete, well there is something so unsatisfying about that. So at the beginning of the year I went back to the good old fashioned black book that would be the home to all my tasks and chores for the year. It goes with me everywhere and I make notes and scribble them out as soon as they are done.
The more I scratched off, the greater I started to feel about me, Lifeology, life and everything in between. The paper list isn't the only old fashioned thing about me. I know everyone sees me Tweeting and finding my days filled with the social media space, but boy do I still love making that phone call. My day was filled with to do's that started with, "Call ..." and I got to them all today. It was most exciting connecting with everyone in Cape Town who are making the Tweetup come to life. It's great to be carrying the vibe that Joburg had last week onto the sister hotel, Fire and Ice Cape Town in two weeks time. Calls, calls, calls and long chats stepped up the mood and confidence yet another notch.
It's very seldom that there are days when Greggie and I don't have meetings and today was an absolute treat. It was so great to do the #FollowSA press release and not have to stop to go anywhere or do anything in between. We need more days like these. Actually, I think that we need to take a day a week where we don't make any appointments and it's all about admin and more admin. I'm not guaranteeing that Greggie had as much fun as me, but seeing as though my first job ever was a PA, I'm assuming that some part of my soul will always find comfort in a healthy to do list and a whole pile of admin to sift through!
Hidden in the shadows of Monday - project me day 759
There's always something to see when the dust begins to settle of the hype. Maybe that's not true and it's just a tired, frustrated and questioning me. I know the number of times I have said that I didn't feel like blogging and that forcing myself to was what 'project me' is all about. However, I don't think I've ever said that I didn't feel like continuing this blog and that's what has been rambling in my head as the day draws to a close and I know it's time to sit down and share another day in my life.
Another day filled with excitement, praise and plans that bring people together and make a whole lot of people happy. Another day of meetings that are filled with the possibility of all that Lifeology has to offer the world. Another day of invites to events and connections to be introduced to.
Another day of still not biting into the juicy, tender cash cow!
I have?a very special reader, who I have named Yoda, who has supported 'project me' from the very first post I wrote. That's over two years ago. I know what he's going to say. He's going to ask me, 'where's the awesomeness pill?' He's going to remind me that I'm only as awesome as I make myself and before he says anything, I'm going to spill all my frustrations so that?my awesomeness comes in the form of hearing my truth and finding the gifts. So here goes!!
I know that Greggie and I aren't the only two who constantly talk about 'the tipping point'. My dearest man, Pat, who showers me with support and encouragement, also keeps telling me that he can feel just how close the tipping point is. After an incredibly successful #FollowSA event last week and with the first radio segment of 'your project me story' this sunday on Radio 2000 ... I have every reason to be the proudest and happiest girl.
If I reflect back on what I set out to achieve when 'project me' became a part of my life, I can't help but focus on the promise to live my life with absolute goallessness but total purpose. Yep, I'm doing that!! I wouldn't want to do anything else in my life. I'm living every fibre of what makes me happy and fulfills my heart and soul.
So where's the financial reward?
The one thing that I won't say is, 'what am I getting wrong?' because I know that's the biggest trap I could ever set myself to fall into. I honestly know that I'm not getting anything wrong. I just know that there's this time called the tipping point and it's close.
It's frustrating and sometimes even humiliating. It's crazy that so many people praise all that I've achieved yet I'm still pondering how to financially benefit from it. It's tiring having to explain to everyone around me that I'm going on faith and I know ... I just know!! Most of all, it's exhausting having to remind myself on days like today.
I'm still not sure if the hidden in the shadows is the excited, positive person who is just waiting for that day to come and knows that it's filled with abundance and financial reward. Maybe the shadow is the afraid, insecure, confused and disappointed person who has put my heart and soul into living my dream and the face that the world sees speaks a whole different story.
Either way, this is what I know about shadows. Only with light is a shadow formed and those very shadows are reflections of who we are. They aren't hidden away for us not to find or see and they aren't so trapped in darkness because we are completely engulfed in light. Between the love that I have been blessed with from Pat, the support & togetherness of this joined journey with my business partner and best friend Greggie, my incredible mother who is telling me to just keep doing what I'm doing, friends who are always by my side and a Twitter community who are waiting in the wings to help me fly ... there's no way that I'm so lost in the shadows that I can't blossom into the light.
That's the awesomeness pill for the day. That's what I dug deep to find on a day when I didn't quite know how to fake the confidence or the success. I don't believe that life ever gets so sorted that I won't always have days like these. I do believe that if I hang on to everything I have worked so hard for and don't give up just when I can feel the tipping point, that it will tip.
So it's another day ... another blog entry ... another reason to keep on fighting for another day ... another popped awesomeness pill!
Another step closer for the children's book - project me day 758
Meet Drifter, the scruffy, not so helpful horse, who needs to learn a lot about being responsible.
I haven't spoken about the children's book, Majestica remembers her magical powers, so quite some time and all of a sudden it has come to life again. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a horse, at the Johannesburg Zoo, who looks exactly like the horse I've pictured in my mind for so long.
Thanks to my man, Pat Sloane, who is an incredible photographer and has an eye that spots any moving creature from miles away, I also got the squirrels in the story and some other very cute farm animals.
Now this is happy - project me day 757
A day at the zoo and who do we find at the animal farm but the most content potbelly pig you'll ever find!
Caitlin the electric violinist performs at #FollowSA - project me day 756
It's Saturday morning, 3 days after the #FollowSA Tweetup, and I'm still reeling with Tweets, emails and call to catch up. I'm so tired that I've decided to beg Pat to take me somewhere into nature and just breathe in air that doesn't have the sound of Tweets at all. Not because I'm sick of it, but rather because I need to absorb how very much I love it all that it's bringing to me.
Last night I was at a friends birthday party and spent the whole night chatting to another dear friend. With friends all around ... and everyone I was with tonight began as a Tweet.
One of those friends asked me if I realise how very blessed I am and that I check in with gratitude for the amazing man, friends and achievements that are all starting to come into full bloom.
Of course I am ... and I've always been so conscious of ?being thankful every day, that's what this blog is all about in essence. We can only be grateful when we are conscious and that's one gift I have truly mastered in myself.
Of course, his statement still got me thinking and as I climbed into bed last night, I counted my blessings of the week that had passed, just to be sure I hadn't missed a touch of gratitude that could still be expressed.
There was ...
On the days that built up the the #FollowSA Tweetup I watched a whole lot of Youtube videos of Caitlin, the electric?violinist, who so generously offered her time to entertain the crowd. I wanted to post videos and Tweet them out so that everyone knew what to expect. I was even so excited that I found performance of Cotton Eye Joe (and we all know the country music sucker that I am) and put in a special request.
Amazingly, no matter how many videos I watched and how excited and humbled I was to have this incredible entertainer perform at one of Lifeology's events, neither myself nor the crowd got what they expected.
Is the greatest word to describe something beyond words,?phenomenal? Is it amazing, incredible, spectacular or breathtaking? It was all of those. I had people asking me "How did you get Caitlin to perform at your event?" and "Will she be at another one?" and "Will she perform at my event?"
Caitlin, I know I've Tweeted and thanked you in person, but here it is again my dear friend. Thank you for your blessed talent and for so generously sharing it with the world. Mostly, thank you for believing enough in #FollowSA to have so graciously entertained us all at Howzit2012.
On Wednesday you had your feet on the ground ... but I would love to share with you one of Caitlin's Aerial performances. It's wow!
How #FollowSA rocked Joburg at Fire and Ice - project me day 755
A huge thank you to the biggest #FollowSA crowd to date ... 130 people, for making #howzite2012 such a memorable event!
I don't know whether yesterday, the day of the event, or today was more of a whirlwind. What an incredible event #FollowSA #Howzit2012 turned out to be. My very rough estimate is that #followsa was Tweeted over 1000 times for the event.
The Fire and Ice Melrose Arch team headed by Anton Gillis who just happens to be an amazing DJ on the side. What a bonus
Twitter was an absolute frenzy of Tweets with the hashtag #fireandicema thanks to the generous hospitality of Anton Gillis and his Protea Hotels Fire and Ice team. I don't have words to express the pride and emotion that filled my night as I took in the venue that made #FollowSA #Howzit2012 the most spectacular event to date.
A special thanks to Karen Battaliou who doubled as an employee and a very dear friend. #FollowSA was born because of my wish that people connected to amazing individuals in the way that I have and K, you are a shining example. Thank you!
The food just never stopped ... wow!
It's the first time that a venue has catered for a #FollowSA event as part of the sponsorship and the combination of?mindbogglingly delicious and the endless supply of it was just spectacular.
I mean, have you EVA?
Yes, that was desert. An unbelievably delicious tower of heavenly pastry, cream, chocolate and strawberry. I'm sure there's a pic of me walking around with an entire plate full at some point.
Lovoka Milkshakes .... mmmmm
Thanks to Franco D' Onofrio of Twiga Communications for organising the Lovoka sponsorship so that #followsa could welcome each guest with an adult milkshake that Fire and Ice Melrose Arch hotel is famous for.
Greggie talking the crowd through a very interesting prize from Hustler Girl's store, Hustler Extreme!
I'm always so humbled by the amazing entertainers who have found their way to the #FollowSA events and found such joy in being a part of the excitement. Thank you to my dear Sibu Radebe, who I happened to meet through my blogging journey, for stepping in to be emergency MC for the night. You are such a great presence and we were honoured to share the stage with you. Crushanda Forbes came 3rd in the Idols finals last year and it was so great to have her join us on stage to hand out prizes. Thanks for being such a great sport and for you enthusiasm to be a part of a future #followsa event. Then there's Caitlin the electric?violinist ...
Caitlin, you are an entertainer beyond words and you took the crowd's breath away by your incredible talent with the?violin. Thank you for giving so generously of your time to make #FollowSA #Howzit2012 what it was ... and thanks most of all for honouring my special request and playing Cotton Eye Joe for me! I love you kid!!! I will be posting a video of Caitlin in action for her project me interview on the blog in the near future.
To the new faces and the old, you are #followsa and these events are for you and because of you and on behalf of Greg, Lifeology and me I thank you for every Tweet and every questions that asks: "when is the next #FollowSA event?"
Lastly ... to the man in my life who doubles as #FollowSA's resident photographer, Pat Sloane (and I don't have a pic because he's always hiding behind the camera) I thank you for capturing every event as a perfect moment in time, for loving and supporting me and putting up with speed wobble before, during and after every event!
Of course I have time to blog - project me day 754
Tonight's #followsa Tweetup is going to be crazy!!! Tomorrow's blog will be filled with pics and thanks and sanity ...
Hold thumbs for Lifeology's biggest event EVA!! Thanks so much Protea Hotels Fire and Ice Melrose Arch for making it happen 🙂
Got to dash ...
And the headache wins - project me day 753
Tomorrow's #FollowSA's biggest event to date!
I'm so excited and super proud!
But ... I woke up with a headache that I thought was just because I had slept a little oddly. By lunch time it was time for a tablet and a few hours ago it was something stronger.
I can't remember when last I had one of these. The ones that make me feel ill ... like I wanna hug the loo kinda sick. Now all I want to do is cry. Of course, that's because I've been sitting in silence the entire day and forcing myself through trying to get organised for tomorrow.
Project me lesson ... SPEAK UP!!!
I've done everything from drinking water to wash it away to eating a decent meal to feed it away. I've nodded off at the computer, got a fan blowing cold air on me and done self healing Reiki on my brain ... but my head has other plans and sometimes that's what the body does. Wait ... that's always what the body does. It tells us what it wants to do, to eat and to think, but we fight it and eventually some part of us has to win.
The part that needs to have faith in the process and learn to ask for help, that part has finally won and I'm off to lie down (which I should have done about 5 hours ago!)
PS ... did I say that our #FollowSA event at @proteahotels #fireandicema hotel is FULL!!! No wonder my brain feels like it's going to explode ;p
Ready or not it's the year of the dragon - project me day 752
If you don't know my incredible love for dragons, then let me take a moment to introduce you to my world that has my cats named after all the characters from the dragon movie, Eragon. The there are the dragon ornaments that adorn my bathroom and bedroom and of course my very own portal crystal that dragons are believed to travel through. I have books and dragon friends and ... well, enough said, I think.
That's why there is a special excitement for this year's Chinese New Year that starts today.
I have to admit that if today's anything to go by then this Dragon energy is going to be pretty interesting for me (and I'm sure so many of you). I remember when I first got introduced to the energy of the dragon, my first warning was of a playful,?mischievous energy that tests the boundaries of people and in so, pushes them to the limits. That's so much of what we can expect of this year. A good old kick in the pants and our choice of what we are going to do with it. It's one of those years where things are going to either soar or tumble down, but either way, the passion of the dragon shows us the limitless potential to make anything happen.
That's what I want from this year and it's certainly what I got from the day. Not that it went without its complete downers that has me literally feeling that every nerve is frazzled with both excitement and?frustration.
Greggie and I are having such amazing business meetings, with plans that are beyond exciting. Wednesday is the first of many #FollowSA tweetups and on that night I also announced our first trip to Cape Town for the start of national events. Prizes are pouring in and so are business opportunities, but on the other end of the stick I'm finally feeling like a working woman who can't believe I have to get home (way after 5pm) and still blog, cook dinner, prepare lunch for Pat for work for tomorrow ... with a load of Tweets and emails still to follow.
I'm far from?complaining. Actually I think I just feel as though I've started a new gym routine and my body and mind have to settle in. We all know what that feels like and I certainly need to adjust to the new pace that my brain needs to operate, my words need to express my creativity and my heart needs to ensure I?maintain?the balance of the beautiful home I've created.
Just on a side, if you read my blog entitled What I learned from Trump and O'Donnell, that was written a few weeks back, you will see that I'm already dealing with so much of what the dragon years bring to someone born in the Chinese zodiac of the Ox. Yes, I'm the Ox and very proudly so ... well except for the part where I'm supposed to love to work in the garden. You see ... I saw an earthworm once ...