The mind needs friends too - project me post 865 #projectbody
It's been an interesting week on #projectbody, which had the potential of ending on a pretty bleak note. Another 7 days pasted and I dropped 0.2kg. I started typing, 'only' but that's not being very kind to myself at all. I thought I was settled in not having any expectations, but it's tougher than I thought it would be.
Overall I've lost 6.3kg in 6 weeks. A kilo a week is fantastic, and as my amazing friend, Liesl, reminded me ... my bod must be asking 'what the hell's up with this and when it knows I'm not trying to kill it, all will settle.
My amazing team mates on this #projectbody journey, Carol and Jono, well they came around for dinner last night and I realised how much we all needed that on so many levels.
This thing ... the mind ... wow, it takes a whole lot of understanding in order to stick to the plan and not let it mess with all the days of healthy eating and hours of training. We are all under the nutrition and fitness guidance of Kilo2Kili, while the emotional side is dealt with by Greggie and myself ... Lifeology.
I did my archetypes course about 8 years ago and I remember to rapidly it it brought about consciousness that I wasn't sure I was ready for. The archetypes is a combination of the works of Caroline Myss and Carl Jung and they help individuals identify 12 archetypes. If I say, 'mother' or 'prince' or 'queen', we all can?immediately?identify with traits that make up this type of nature. Well, within the 12 that we each have, they go through our ?lives either in the shadow or in the light (depending on how conscious we are of how to use all the traits).
It took me years to realise that the archetypes are naturally within our persona but that the mind has so much to do with how we relate to the traits that define us.
Along the journey of weight loss (and I've done it so many times before) there are always reasons why we start, stop and start again. There are reasons why it seems impossible and why only about 5% of anyone who loses weight keeps it off. It's because of a friendship that need to work very hard on ... a friendship with ourselves. The mind is at the core of that friendship and last night, while sharing stories of what motivates us, what our skinny dreams look like and how we feel about getting there, that I realised that the mind needs something very special. The mind needs friends.
I felt my mind opening up to the load noises for fear, shouting that I eat too much still or that one slice of bread is going to set me back for days. It doesn't matter how supportive Joni Kowensky of Kilo2Kili is, until my mind can make friends with anything, I am always at risk of throwing in the towel and saying all the things I've said before.
So last night, three friends, who are all in #projectbody together, but can only do it for ourselves ... well those friends allowed our minds to make friends too.
My mind felt settled and a little less noise bellowed through when the scale didn't say what I wanted it to.
One of the greatest gifts I have given myself is doing this journey with people who are at the same stage as me. We have all tried. We haven't lost and not put it back on. We have fears and insecurities all stemming from the past attempts. We have visual goals that inspire us and we don't want to?disappoint?ourselves but we have no intention of giving up on ourselves either.
Today, if it were not for my friends and my mind's friends, that result would have done the usual. It would have freaked me out and I would have done something extreme ... because extreme is written all over my archetypes. Instead, I did something different ... I shared my result with my friends and let our minds talk to each other so that I didn't have to do anything else different at all.
On to week 7 🙂
Time to walk the talk - project me post 864 #projectbody
I hope I'm seen as the girl who supports the people around me, especially when they are out there doing their thing and making a difference in the world or in their lives. I know how very supported I have been and know the impact of inspiration and motivation. Lately I have been known to be very supportive of Greggie and the #FollowSA team of peeps who take part in all different types of sporting events.
There have been a whole lot of good and bad reasons why I've been the one supporting everyone else from the couch, but since I've started #projectbody, I can slowly the feel the need to get up, get out and be a part of the team.
I'm still struggling with my ankle, but waiting until some more of the weight is gone so that I can get the ... weight ... off it. Joni from Kilo2Kili is already helping me?strengthen?all my joints in?preparation?for a very fit lifestyle. My cardio is so much better and I'm also coming along in weight training and the results are showing. I lost an additional 2kg in the past 2 weeks and have now lost a total of 6.1kg. I can so feel it in my clothes and it's nearly time for me to go and buy a new pair of jeans.
That's all very exciting, but I also know how not to push myself because giving up is still not completely out of the equations. I know that one bad training experience is going to set me back a whole long way and so I'm taking it one step at a time. This realisation was coupled with a very interesting weekend, when the #FollowSA team set out once again. This time it was made up of Lifeology and Kilo2Kili with 7 entrants into the 702 Discovery Walk the Talk. When we were invited to attend the event, I knew that even 5km right now would have me in a complete state. Never mind the fact that everyone else was walking 30km ... and well, let's just say that competition isn't my strong point.
The race happened this Sunday and I can't tell you how extremely proud I am everyone who walked. I still can't believe that the #FollowSA team actually did 30km and the Tweets about aches and pains still have me super proud.
While they were all walking, I was at the event watching the thousands of people (almost 60 000) getting ready to walk or heading to the finish line. I wanted to kick myself a few times for not walking, but then settled myself back into a great lesson that I have been trying to share in this blog for a very long time.
One of the greatest lesson's I've had to get my head around is being goalless yet purposeful. I've discussed it at great lengths and living #projectbody has really given me insight into what it means to have that vision but not put limitations of time or outcome onto it. This weekend was an excellent example of it and I had already set out to support my team and then announce that next year I would be walking the 30km. The walk ... well that is filled with purpose and I have no doubt in my mind that I will be fit, eager and ready to hit the streets in 2013.
The goals are what would only get me in a state from this very moment on and after seeing the toughness of the 30km, I feel totally goalless in committing to what distance I will walk next year. I have no idea how I will feel, where my fitness will be or what my mind set will be like but I know I will be out there and not just cheering my team on.
I have a step by step journey in my pursuit of health and fitness and my first major public sporting event will definitely be the walk the talk next year. The rest ... well let's just wait and see shall we.
Well done to @ohgodkknows, @kilo2kili, @BruceKCantrell @TiffanyWilson89 @GlennChatz @XavierSaer @katrinaivycope and @k2kfounder for an incredible walk and for being such an inspiration to me along my #projectbody journey!
The most inspiring stories are those of failure - project me post 863
I know I haven't been blogging much! I've watched the ease with which I blog about my #projectbody successes and growth, but I haven't mustered up enough energy, confidence or truth-telling to share what's going on in my life. It's got nothing to do with giving up on my own 'project me' because that's far too?ingrained. Truthfully, it's more about feeling like a stuck and broken record, with the addition of some personal drama.
The funny thing is, that when I speak about my blog I tell of how people have always appreciated my open honesty and how I'm unafraid to share what's going on in my life. That's true ... somewhere deep down inside I know that's true. I think that for a while I just needed to hide away from something I'm very afraid of.
You know I have reputation issues, right? They are so much better, but I still have this overly protective concern about what people might think of me and I've felt it most strongly of late.
It's crazy because my life isn't filled with any scandal at all. It's just filled with everyday drama that goes along with being an entrepreneur, being in a relationship and being an eternal optimist.
So truthfully ... it's been crap!
It's been going on for a few months now and the crapness seems to be lingering. Amazingly, I've kept positive and kept going, but there's been a whole lot of crying myself to sleep, crying into my supper and crying when I remind myself that I'm exactly where I should be because of every choice I've made.
On a positive note, work is slowly filtering in and people are beginning to notice the value of myself and Greg, for all the things we have dreamed of doing in our business. The catch 22 is that it's been tough for so long that there's a lot of catch up. There are also the frustrations of waiting for people to pay and waiting for the others to say 'yes' so we can begin working. So right now it's tighter than it's been in ages and that's what I've been avoiding saying!!
The financial pressure is adding a strain to my relationship that I didn't think Pat and I would ever have to endure. It's those fragile moments of knowing love will get us through but wishing it wouldn't because it all hurts too much. Yet, with each passing day we check with each other that this is where we still want to be and neither ... and here we still are.
Then something awesome happened. Greggie was out one day and stumbled across and article about Richard Griffin, the owner of Madame Zingara, in the Entrepreneur Magazine. In an amazingly brief version of his journey with his business, he's been struck by fire, rotten deals,?bankruptcy and revived life into his business 3 times, now having a hugely successful 'theatre of dreams'. I saw Madam Zingara years ago and then heard about the tragic sour international deal and how the venture had collapsed. Then I heard about how life had been breathed back into Richard's dream and just a few months ago I was lucky enough to be invited to see the show. Wow ... on every level.
So when we were out a few weeks ago, the magazine was lying in a coffee shop and Greggie brought it over for me to read the closing the points in the article. Here they are ...
I'm sticking this up next to my vision board as a constant reminder that there's nothing I ever need be ashamed or afraid of in failure. It's there to remind me that we can't control life's event or other people's actions, but we can control everything that happens from that moment after.
Overcoming cravings & surviving the plank - project me post 862 #projectbody
I didn't have a weigh in this week. It's not that I haven't been excited to stand on the scale. Wow, I can't believe how I've changed. Well, I'm not overjoyed at standing on it but at least now I have a new attitude towards it. But still, I was all ready for it until I phoned Joni Kowensky, my incredible fitness/nutrition coach and the owner of Kilo2kili. I was in a state because for the first time since #projectbody began 4 weeks ago, the cravings had set in.
Lucky for me, I'm open about what's going on in my life and I got it out pretty quickly that it's the girlie time of the month. I now how much I used to eat then, so I wasn't surprised I had mad cravings. The difference is that this time I didn't want to give into the cravings but knew that I had to step out of my routine. Can I give you the huge realisation that I've just had at this very moment?
I'm learning to listen to my body. I might not known what to do about it, but I heard the craving cry.
That's what I love about having chosen to not do this journey on my own and one call to Joni had me sitting with a yum and filling solution. POPCORN! Not a daily snack, but one that is clean and healthy at times when a female body needs that extra boost of energy. I wish I could put into words the feeling of satisfaction that slowly filtered through my body as I felt the popcorn hit all the right craving spots. The whole time that I was munching on it and breathing in that heavenly smell of fresh popped corn, I kept reminding myself of the message Joni had left me with before we ended the call. He told me that this is usually the time I would binge and give up on my healthy way of eating because we all think if we can't make it though that one craving we won't make it.
I did ...
I made it through really well and had fantastically clean eating day after that.
I've figured out what is motivating me most of all. It's being proud of myself. I am slowly beginning to see how I want to go to gym or eat clean because of how proud I feel with each milestone. I'm most excited at how much fitter I thought I was and can finally feel the fine line between challenging myself but not overdoing it.
I'm also beginning to realise how much damage my body suffered when I sequestrated my lower disks. Everything has it's up side too, so I acknowledge how much I have healed since that dreaded time. My cycling is going so well and I've already increased my intensity from level 3 to level 5, with a max speed (I think that's the term) of 80 which is now at 90. That's huge leaps for a body that was hardly moving about 4 weeks ago.
Joni is still very focused on?strengthening?my core and I'm conscious of how precise he is with my body positioning and every move I make. On the one hand, I know I'm in the best hands but on the other, I know that this journey of fitness is going to get interesting and I am still very nervous. Well, after what I experienced after my last training session, I'm not surprised I still excited for the months to come.
You see, there's this exercise called Planking. It's up there at the top of the blog and Jay Anstey makes it look so simple. Me, on the other hand ... no, let me be kind to myself. I did it and stayed up there for the count of 5 but I did feel every muscle in my body quiver and realise how much core strength I need to work on. That wasn't the kicker ... it was the combination of the ab muscles saying 'howzit' and the muscles around my ribs saying 'hiya' that had me gasping for short breaths since yesterday. Holy crap ... 'hello' muscles. I can't believe that even though I had to skip gym today and just give my body a time out, that I knew the muscle pain was a sign of how far I've come and how strong my body is going to be.
It's the weekend again and I have another treat day that I'm taking tomorrow because we're off to spend the afternoon with Pat's sisters. After last week's treat day where I literally ate every single thing I got my hands on, I realised how much I used to eat and I also reminded myself that every week I will be able to have the things I love, so it's really taken the pressure of my weeks and also has me calm about not overindulging tomorrow ... or on any treat day that lies ahead.
All in all, I feel great and can even feel it in my clothes. But most of all, I don't remember being so confident that I'll shake this weight and live a happy and healthy lifestyle 🙂