Then one day everything changes - project me post 926
Tomorrow everything changes.
This isn't my usual post where I say I'm waking up tomorrow and going to make changes. No, literally, tomorrow everything changes. It's exciting, but excitement never enters my life without some fear and anxiety. For the comfort of my own nerves, I'm going to assume that's the same for everyone.
Greggie has been amazingly supportive of the social media side of Lifeology and has support it and me every step of the way. It's finally blossoming and quotes are going out, work is coming in and I have more exciting plans in the wings.
So it's his time to fly.
Tomorrow he begins a long anticipated 5 month full time contract in a change management position. The work he's?phenomenal?at and his ?passionate vision for Lifeology.
So it truly, really all changes ... tomorrow.
I wake up and head off to my first marketing council meeting for a client, without my business partner in the car. I'm not going to say he won't be at my side, because we'll always be at each other's side. The dynamic of how we both function is going to change drastically and it's so interesting for me to watch how some of my oldest fears have crept to the surface.
It would be so easy to say that I know what I'm doing, I'm bold and brave and will be just fine, but I've never subscribed to the positivity movement of ... everything's fine! I don't do pretending not to be afraid or ignoring the fear and staring at myself in the mirror yelling to myself, "no fear!"
Instead, I tell myself the truth that the changes are huge and that as of tomorrow I'm going to be doing things I usually rely on my business partner for. I admit that I am always nervous I will get lost, hate going to new place on my own, am not used to going to business meetings about contracts and money on my own, usually don't do anything much with the quotes and finances at all. That's a lot ... a lot!
Now that I've told that truth ... the other voice in my head reminds me of the way I handle any change in my life. After I'm done freaking out, I head into the world (shaking in my boots at times) and I face the challenges head on. I've made plans to make sure I'm brave and have GPS, a car charger and a few people on speed dial.
I've planned meetings for next week to overcome my fear of me not being able to open or close a contract on my own. I've put the foundation in place for the things I want to get off the ground in the social media arena of Lifeology, just to remind myself that I've done so much that has made me successful already.
And with my bravery packed, my vision set and my courage souring, I turn my attention to the most amazing business partner a girl could ask for. Greggie, I'm so excited and proud of you and your ability to make your dreams a reality. I know that this is the yet another step to you changing the world.
This is what all the hard work and?preparation is for ... very moments like this. Very scary yet totally exciting moments like this!!!
Tattoo tune up - project me post 925
It's truly one of the best decisions I ever made. I adore my tattoo and get stopped often by people asking to take a pic of it or just comment on it.
I didn't do it for they hype. I truly did it as a symbol of the shift that I saw in myself and the more I discovered the power of being a woman and my strong connection to the moon and life, the more I settled into the desire to have the symbol with me wherever I go.
Most of you have seen it over and over, but for any newcomers ... here is my tat of the moon goddess:
There is another side of the tale though ...
Far too many people ask me if I'm a netball player. To the great amusement of my bestie, Greggie, but to the shock and horror that I have to deal with each time. I've been?contemplating rectifying any kind of confusion for a while now and I keep putting it off. I mainly blame money, but I also think that a part of me hasn't wanted to go to over the top with it.
Well, I think that's already too late. I have a busty woman, double the size of the average tat ... so why not finish it off with the distinguishing factor. She holding the moon ... a symbol that means so much to me.
Hearing the last person ask me if it was a netball pushed me way over the edge and luckily the timing was ideal, thanks to Rihanna's sexy addition!!
I'm so stealing this ...
I'm going to wrap the stars from above the moon, through her arms and let the spray of stars fade away behind her dress.
So ... what do you think?
Now I can't wait to do it ... money shmoney!!! Watch this space because the new, single, improved me is itching to star up my very special tattoo!
I've let myself go - project me post 924
It's yet another full moon. To me that's not just any night. For a handful of year's I've taken time to pause and reflect on the full and the new moon cycles and truly have a look at what I've done or want to do before the cycle returns again.
I stopped doing that when I was in a relationship. I still haven't begun to figure out why, but I stopped. It was pretty soon after the break up that it was new moon and on that night I reignited my love for my rituals and how healthy and reflective these nights are for me.
I waited to blog so that the sun had moved on and let the rays of the moon flow over me as I shared yet another cycle ... the first in the new year. In a little while I will run a bath, light lots of candle, burn incense and think about the fullness of who I am. The fullness of how far I have come and how strong I have truly realised I am. On the other hand, I also have to look at where I want to be when the full moon comes around again and every time I think of it, I think of the moments that I let myself go.
I think about the days that I get so angry and want to stomp my feet and demand answers from my past. Then there are the times I get sad and think that I feel lonely. Then there's the days of falling off the healthy wagon and comfort eating ... maybe not for as long as I used to do, but calorie overkill happens none the less.
I always think to myself ... oh, you have just let yourself go.
And then I turn to a song about truly letting oneself ?go ... and I play it, over and over again.
It always gets me up, calling friends, making plans and doing something on my vision board ... even if it's as small as buying something I've wanted for a while and making every excuse or cutting my hair, or wearing red lipstick.
So tonight, I will reflect on how I have let myself go and need to focus back onto myself the way that #projectme holds me steady. I know that I'll visualise where I want to be when the full moon comes around ... and I will have wanted to let myself go in very different ways.
George Strait sings it best ...
He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye. Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night. But he had no idea, when he hit the road, That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.
Let herself go on a singles cruise, To Vegas once, then to Honolulu. Let herself go to New York City: A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty. When he said he didn't love her no more, She let herself go.
She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch. Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants. Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note, And without him there to stop her, she let herself go.
Let herself go on her first blind-date: Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake. Let herself go, buy a brand new car, Drove down to the beach he always said was too far. Sand sure felt good between her toes:
She let herself go on a singles cruise, To Vegas once, then to Honolulu. Let herself go to New York City: A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty. When he said he didn't love her no more, She let herself go.
To Vegas once: Honolulu, New York City. Came back knocked-out pretty.
I might not be able to jump on a plane and head to New York City, but I have exciting plans, bigger dreams and a new shade of red lipstick that I just can't wait to wear out on the town.
My first Podcast interview on the Fred Felton Show
2013 has started off with some really exciting opportunities, but the highlight so far has been my first podcast interview. As you know I shamelessly, get with rosy cheeks, do admit a whole lot on the blog, so I will tell you I did my hair and makeup for a podcast. Yes, technology still escapes me at time, but my dear friend Fred Felton did promise a hangout (with video) one day in the near future.
Fred is one of the first South African friends I made in the social media space, way back in 2010 and we have supported each other and watched each other find our unique space in the world. I couldn't be more proud and honoured to be Fred's first interview for the podcast series of the Fred Felton show:
I hope you take the time to listen, gain more insight into project me and my journey and that it inspires you even more to make life happen.
Jeremy Mansfield hops on the magic carpet ride at the Joburg Theatre's Aladdin Panto
It's my favourite time of year ... Panto Time! No wait ... it's far too early for Panto. I'm big on announcing that I think time flies, but talking about the annual Joburg Theatre tradition of Janice Honeyman's Panto so soon?
On days like today I feel like the hardest working, dedicated person on earth. I know this because there my name appears as 'blogger' on the Joburg Theatre media list and I just glow with pride. I took tons of hard work to get to where I am ... sitting, surrounded by press & suits, waiting for the exciting announcement of who the surprise guest in this year's Janice Honeyman panto would be.
Each year the panto never?disappoints?and some of SA's favourite stars bring fun, family entertainment to the stage through the whole festive season. This year, I can't wait to see Aladdin come to life and with a super exciting surprise ...
Jeremy Mansfield will play the evil Abanazar in Aladdin
Who doesn't know Jeremy Mansfield? But who knows Jeremy as the stage performer who has acting running through his veins? I thought I was proud of my achievements, sitting in the theatre that I love so much. I can't begin to imagine the journey that Jeremy has walked to finally play a role in one of Joburg's most special traditions.
This project me day I am reminded that it's always perfect timing, never too late and by overcoming obstacles that we finally get to take take centre stage. This panto ... I can't wait for!
Meeting Jeremy, soon to be the evil Abanazar
Here is more info from the Joburg Theatre ... and if I were you, I'd book NOW!
Welcome to the world of ALADDIN, where nothing is as it seems.? Steeped in magic, full of wonder and packed with surprises, this story is perfect for the entire family to enjoy and treasure:? Evil Abanazar wants the magic lamp, Widow Twankey wants a husband, Aladdin wants adventure and Wishee Washee wants a clean vest - can the Genie of the Lamp grant their wishes?
Take a magic carpet ride to Joburg Theatre and get your tickets now, or you will need the help of a genie to obtain the best seats in the house!? It?s only January, but over 20,000 tickets have already been sold for South Africa?s most popular stage tradition of each year.
Tickets for preview performances range from R130 to R240 and for all other performances from R180 to R290: on sale now by visiting www.joburgtheatre.com, or by calling the theatre?s direct ticketing line on 0861 670 670.? Discounted rates for groups of ten or more are available by calling the theatre on (011) 877 6853/4.
JANICE HONEYMAN?S ALADDIN is proudly brought to you at Joburg Theatre by BankservAfrica, in association with M-Net and Your Family Magazine.
Relive your History with Michael Jackson at the Joburg Theatre
Maybe it's just me who thinks that everyone has some kind of history with Michael Jackson. Maybe it's ?because I've been lucky to have very special memories to hold onto when I hear his music today. I would find it hard to believe that many people could go through life not having been caught wearing a white glove, letting their white socks show or trying to do the moonwalk. If they are out there ... then I don't think it's too late to create some history with the King of POP!
It's back to another year of making my own kind of magic and there was no better way to start than heading back to the one place I truly love ... the threate! Opening night at Joburg Theatre is always a treat, but as I drove through for the Michael Jackson History II show by the amazing Kenny Wizz, I could feel the butterflies.
You see, I didn't grow up truly being a fan of Micheal Jackson. No, it's more accurate to say that in my world, no matter how big a fan you where, you were never truly a fan like my little sis. She's one of those people that most people call crazy. One of those people who make the news for camping outside of hotels room and traveling around the world to see him perform. That's my history with Michael Jackson and so I knew an emotional night of memories would unfold.
I was awe struck. I know Kenny has been doing tribute shows, dressed up like Michael Jackson, for a while but this was my first hand experience at seeing him perform live. Incredible is truly the only word to describe this production and I wouldn't tell anyone had they?permission to miss it.
Being so awe-struck let me hold the emotions back, but there my mom and sisters sat with tears running throughout the whole show. Not over dramatic in my world ... not when we have memories like this ...
Growing up, sibling rivalry is always rough. We aren't one of those families who can say that we got along fabulously as kids. Little is and me, well we truly had rocky times and we wouldn't have called each other friends for years and years.
Mom, little sis and me waiting for Kenny Wizz to sign her program
Then life changed and through finding comfort and understanding in her music, little sis became that fan. He loved SA and every time he was here a friend of hers (actually someone who worked for Michael who she managed to befriend because she's crafty that way) would tell her where he would be and mom, little sis and I would jump in the car. We did crazy things together, like drive an hour and half and stay over at SA's famous Sun City just to catch glimpses of him. I would catch her when she fainted and ?we would listen to Michael Jackson the whole way home to reality.
Then there's the other side of the music that carried me through or gave me reality checks that I never expected in my life. Like the time little sis traveled to see him in New York and overslept because of a fun night out at his concert. That date was 9.11 ... she was supposed to have been in the world trade centre ... I listened to Michael Jackson so much then. Until she was safely out of New York. It took a few says and she truly was stranded and alone. I can't being to imagine how much she listened to him but I know songs like "you are not alone" carried me through until she returned back to London where she lived then.
Then there's the time that I had to choose a song. A song that spoke of the death of my best friend. He was taken far too soon from my life, in 2001 and he will have "gone too soon".
There are so many more memories of "man in the mirror", "smile" and "she's out of my life" that I could talk about ... but I'm hoping you'll head off and remember your own. Take in a brilliant stage performance and tribute show that I know Michael Jackson is so damn proud of. Remember the unique outfits, Michael moved and moonwalk and be moved by a song or a multitude of moments that creates your HISTORY through the music of Michael Jackson.
I am the change I want to see - project me post 920
Everyone says a change is as good as a holiday and after the month I've had, I have been waiting for a change. I decided to cut my hair almost immediately after the breakup, but plucking up the courage takes a little longer with me.
I'm glad I didn't do it when I found the hairstyle because I've had an interesting month and the timing of the cut is ideal for what I've learned about myself.
Although I've honoured my emotions and totally fallen apart at times, I've really had time to see how strong and positive I am. The more I've spoken to people, the more I've realised how brave it was to see the need to end the relationship. Taking it from the number of people, (all very supportive) who told me to not give up and the relationship could work down the line, I also realise how few people actually do leave when they can see that a certain element just won't work. Pat always used to say that we were okay 80% of the time, but that 20% ... I'm deserving of that extra 20%. We are all deserving of 100%!
And so a new kind of standard for my life and confidence kicked in ...
Work has always been my strong point for being bold and brave, but it's different to start to feel it in my personal desires. I honestly believe that if we all look into the ending of a relationship we can see so many gifts for ourselves and the ones I've truly found have been very positive. They have been all about who I know I am and how I want to what I have realised about myself and make the change I want to see in MY world.
So I started with my hair ...
This year my project me calls for a new kind of boldness and a new kind of braveness. There are things I want to do in my personal life that are going to take some real confidence. That spills over into my career too and this year I want to step out into the world, with pride and be noticed ... really noticed ... for the purpose that I want to live out in my life.
For the longest time all I wanted was for my hair to look like Alanis Morissette ... just long and kinda hanging. Well, that was years ago and I didn't even go to have my hair done much, which is crazy because my oldest sister just happens to be one of the best hairstylist in SA ... in my personal opinion.
But Alanis grew up and has had many gorgeous hairstyles over the years and so it's time to use a hairdryer and style my hair for the first time in about 15 years. Yep, that's seriously how long I've just done the wash and leave it to dry thing.
So my sis, Shelene, has always offered to do my hair and I've always said 'no thanks', but now that something inside has changed and I want to physically see and live that change, I needed my oldest sis more than ever. Over the holidays Greggie and I did a fortune of talking and taking a deeper looking into our lives. It's partly because we over analyse and partly because a wise friend of our suggested we do it. In all of that, I realised that I truly believe I fade into the background ... I didn't realise how long it had been an issue for and that I felt it in so many areas of my life, but I always feel like I am just a flash in the pan with everything. Like I'll be the flavour of the month with friends, with clients, with followers, with readers ... with men!
But no more! Very long story short ... a whole lot of talking to myself, salt baths, drowning my insides and outside with sage and letting go ... I'm slowly seeing myself as invaluable, eternal, impactful and a whole lot of other positive words that needed to be translated into a new me ...
A very special thanks again to my sis of Tanaz Hair Body Nails, who knows I've changed and can maintain a hairstyle that I never would have taken the time to care for or style until now ...
I wore a sort of itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini - project me post 919
Today was family day at my sister's new home. Little sis and her hubby have really done an amazing job at taking each step together and building themselves up to living in a stunning duplex apartment with a private pool on a river front. That meant costumes, braai (barbeque) by the river and a day of total relaxation.
I can feel my energy slowly starting to settle into a new, more confident me when it comes to my eating and changes I can definitely see in my body. It's been for the past week and this weekend was a great shift for me. We played our monthly board games, which is usually my day to literally stuff myself and we were all on some kind of better eating mission. All except Greggie, of course but I think I survived the delicious wafting of salt and vinegar crisps under my nose. I didn't even feel like snacking on anything but fresh veggies and sticking to the feeling of being the healthy me I've grown to love.
The same went for today, where I indulged in a small amount of meat but fell into the salad bowl and loved every mouthful.
Summer salad filled with red pepper, feta cheese, chickpeas, nuts, seeds, dried fruit, & red onion
I've finally seen the great rewards of knowing what's good for me, what's a treat and when to know the difference. Because of that, it's not even like resisting anymore and in a few days time I'll tell you how I've been eating. But for today ...
I was only for family viewing and was inspired and coaxed on by mom, who is so incredibly supportive of me, so today I wore a bikini for the first time since I was about 12 year old. I would never have bought it, so mom gave it to me instead. Then after I got it, I didn't think I'd wear it for at least ... um ... well until winter rolled around and then it would be too late. But for some reason, I woke up with a touch of confidence and what better space to do some thing super brave than with your family who know you warts and all anyway.
It felt great. I still wore a top over for about three quarters of the afternoon, but it came off eventually. As I said, I'm not ready for much more public viewing than the family but it was great to just acknowledge that my body is changing shape slowly.
Then, as the Universe always does when you show the slightest sign of bravery, I spoke to Greggie tonight who asked me if I got the invite to the pool party at the end of the month. Pool party ... holy cow I haven't been invited to one of those in years. No, that's not true ... I've managed to avoid those for years.
I'm going ... in my bikini! I'll have lost more by then, but still, I will have to be super brave to shed all the additional layers that kinda keep me safe in my version of an ity bitsy teenie weenie bikini! A brave, bold, project me step in the right direction ...
The roundup of a great week - project me post 918
I can't believe it's Friday! I'm going to say that now and get it out the way so I don't say it every Friday while the year zooms by again. I believe that can only be a good sign. Busy, full days that doesn't allow time to drag on.
So in the rush of the week I had some really high and really low moments. The low ones are still recognising my vulnerability and having to deal with the array of emotions that comes with any kind of loss. This week a friend lost his sister, and I can't begin to imagine that kind of loss, but in those times I always remind myself that no one's pain is better or worse and so I've truly tried to deal with mine. I finally got to anger and thought I was going to explode, but after venting to the important ones in my life and finally getting some of it off my chest, I felt myself slowly let it go.
It's helped that I have been so conscious of how far I have come in my Project Me and the friendship I have finally developed with my body. I binged during the December holidays but when I woke up on Monday this week, I was back to my project and no matter what emotions I felt, I did not find comfort in food. I dropped my first tone in the 'lost a kilo' glass, went to gym three times this week and have had to half my portions because I think my stomach has slowly?shrunk.
I've had old friends re-surface and some friends be truly supportive. On the other hand, I've been flaming furious and desperately upset that some friends haven't contacted me with anything more than a half hearted acknowledgement on Twitter or Facebook. Over the past few weeks I've become a lot more expressive in my statuses and Tweets ... why not, I have profound thoughts that help me heal and should be sharing them in the true spirit of my project.
It's highlighted how special friends are for me this week and I've decided that it's time to entertain them more and let them entertain me more. I want to see them more often, go out for coffee and chat on the phone without worrying about minutes it's using on my contract.
That does bring up another?highlight? that could have been a low moment ... but I kept calm and made something good of it. So last week my Blackberry died on me again and when I took it in for service they said I would be getting a refurbished one as per insurance. Um ... no ... I was not settling for another refurbished Blackberry .. and, well, here's the whole story in a blog I did called Customer Care and Online Service done right by Vodacom. The upside is that I now have a Samsung Galaxy Note and I couldn't be a happier girl. Thank heavens for Greggie who has helped me with all of the technical stuff, but I finally know what it's like to have a decent, functioning phone.
This was my first Instagram pic, which I'm totally chuffed with. Mostly, I'm excited that I can take cool pics of my cats *giggles*
It was the first day of school for my gorgeous twin nephews and I couldn't help but shed a tear when I saw them in their school uniforms. Everyone grows up so fast, which gave me my theme song for the day, then the week and maybe the year. Of course it's a country song by Trace Adkins, which I'm sure on one is South Africa would have even heard of ...
You're gonna miss this You're gonna want this back You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast These are some good times So take a good look around You may not know it now But you're gonna missthis
In all the excitement, I've seen great opportunities for Project Me to blossom and have met an awesome guy called Tom who lives in the USA. On the other side of the world, Tom has been telling his project me story and we finally decided to collaborate and do something awesome with it. The outcome is a project me fan page on Facebook ... to start!
In the midst of all the mission statements, finding fans and coaxing people to be brave enough to tell their stories, I decided to give a short history on my biggest project of all ... my weight. I know I've posted lots of then and now pics, but non of them have shown what I looked like when I started project me in 2004 and what I look like today. I used to hate pictures and now I'm so glad I didn't get rid of all the fat ones in some low self esteem attempt to hide what I didn't want to see.
Then I weighed 124kg and it took me 8 years of dealing with my issues to finally get down to 108kg. Then last year I took a great turn in my project me journey and lost 14kg ... okay, so after the breakup I ate my way through the last month and picked up 2 and half kilos for good measure. I'm still shaking that, nearly at 15kg and have another 23kg to go till my goal wait. It's this year ... it's happening this year! Having the new project me fan page has shifted that a little and I feel I can post simple milestones instead of doing an entire blog ... which is just thrilling for me.
So in the glow of all the is great so far, it's new moon tonight and I'm back to my rituals. So it's a nice salt bath, which is great for getting the aura and energy back to 'new' just like the moon. It's a great time to visualise all that I want to achieve until the moon is full again ... but mostly, tonight, I'm going to remind myself of how far I have come and get ready for a new year, new chapters in my life and the new adventures along the way!
Project me grows up and gets a Facebook page
Very few people in this world are in a true position of genuine happiness but everyone wishes for it and some are determined to do what it takes to find it.
Project Me is for those people that are ready to make the changes necessary to improve the quality of their lives and achieve their perception of happiness. Some of us want to make more money, some may want to own their own home, others to get fit and healthy, overcome an addiction or get a better job. Whenever we tell ourselves the truth about where we are in our lives, but know we have the ability to create a happier, healthier reality for ourselves, we unconsciously make ourselves our own project.
Change is never easy... but if you have joined this group it means that part of you is ready to do something GREAT. Part of you WANTS that change. Part of you NEEDS that change. Now all you have to do is MAKE that change happen by challenging yourself.
If you dare challenge yourself to look out into the world for someone to inspire, motivate or encourage you, then you never know the opportunity that lies in the friends you could make, support you could receive or people who your inspire by your story.
Across the world, Jodene Shaer (that's me) ?in South Africa and Tom Siegrist in the USA were both living and sharing our Project Me story. And so the journey of finding others around the world began with one small step ? A Project Me fan page.
There are no leaders or followers in this Project. Project Me is for people that are ready to show others that change?REAL CHANGE?is possible. Everyone?EVERYONE involved in this is WORKING towards something. We are ready to ACTIVELY AFFECT our own lives.
By coming here you have already ignited a spark and we encourage you to share your current project by either posting videos of your challenges, like Tom loves to do, or blogging your journey as Jodene does. Post a status on who you are and what you are striving for, working on or dreaming of.
Share it, live it and turn your project into the best ME you can be.
It?s out there?waiting for you. GO GET IT.