Very often, my best friend compares life to a roller coaster ride and presumes the analogy is a great one, however ... I hate roller coaster rides. On the other hand, I have really learned to love my life and can definitely relate it to the abundant joys of a kid in a theme park.
That's the one ingredient that as truly become the compass of my life and when I have a look around the theme park of life, I always hover to the things that will be unadulterated fun. Some people love hopping onto some scary ride that throws them upside down and swings them into G-Forces of ecstasy, while I look on and think they are slightly crazy.
On the other hand, I know that people look at me and can't fathom that my outlook on life and wonder how I choose what drives me and gives me the greatest pleasure.
To be honest, I needed a year of exploring the theme park of life with a little bolder and even braved a roller coaster or two.
I've bitched often. I've even said things like, "this has been a crappy year" and "I can't wait for 2013 to be over", which I still find myself thinking and saying. Social media has made everyone's thoughts and feelings much more transparent and I truly get the feeling that it's felt like one too many rides on the cup and saucer. It all seems like fun and then all of a sudden being tossed back and forward through life begins to just make you feel sick ... and want to get off.
Project Me is about many things, but at this time, it's kinda all about focusing on the gratitude.
Not gratitude for others or objects, but a real gratitude for oneself.
2013 has been a turnaround year for me. I'm sitting here with a mixed bag of all sorts of emotions, reflecting on a year where every aspect of my life shifted to some degree.
I started it newly single, broke, slightly petrified and most definitely faking the happiness more than living it.
My saving grace was my Project Me journey and the foundation I have taken years to establish. That saying that nothing is a quick fix is so true. I clung to what I had discovered in 2012 and either knew that I wanted to forge forward with some things or it was time to drastically change others. I call it setting my compass to happiness. It doesn't even know if you're sure what happy means to you or not, as long as you know that you deserve it.
I knew that happiness meant in my career, knew that my past relationship hadn't made me happy, that I wanted a better relationship with money to feel a new kind of happiness ... and so I went through all of the aspects of my life.
Project Me has really taught me that once you put a statement out there and life (the Universe or whatever you believe to be true) knows that you mean it, things begin to happen to shift you to that true north ... that happiness. That's what people are never prepared for. The shifts and the changes that are inevitable once we realise that we want more or deserve more.
This year literally felt as though I was turning a massive ship around ... with my teeth.
I'm not a small dreamer.
I want amazing things in my life filled with success that is written about. I want to be among the top in my field and I want the sexy car, expensive handbag, to hop on a plane and pop past a friend halfway around the world. My vision board has reflected that for years, yet manifesting it is a totally different ball game.
Then I got my first big Lifeology career break. It took me nearly 3 years of passionately blogging for the Joburg Theatre and doing anything to be noticed, to finally land myself as the social media publicist. What's that? Yes, I asked myself that very question right near the end of last year and I honestly believe that taking a risk and creating my own career path was a defining moment in my life. Now, one of the few (or only) social media publicists in SA, I was given the opportunity to live my dream and finally start to be paid to do what I love.
Just do one thing that scares you and the domino effect rolls through. That was one of my biggest realisation this year and after taking the bold step into the social media world, things just began to ripple through everything.
Almost immediately as the year began, Greggie (my business partner) was given an incredible opportunity, but it also meant that for the first time in business, I would be doing things on my own. Going to meetings, deciding on costings for clients, quoting clients, taking risks ... eeeeek! Can I say that I hated the start of the year?
Then I learned to rely heavily on two things ... myself and my GPS! Literally ... my directions suck!
By mid 2013 I was getting the hang of being a career woman, had completely forgotten to take care of myself on a personal level (mainly finances, family and food) and so it was time for yet another major shift.
In stepped my very own Fairy Godmother. No seriously ... Donna McCallum is mine and so many other's living, breathing Fairy G. We met. We hit it off immediately and she gave me the opportunity to do her Money Magic course. I thought it would be a great marketing stint for both her and me and so the blogging of the process began. Little did I know that the work would actually change my relationship with money and pretty much change my life. Within a few short months, I taking home a full salary for the first time as an entrepreneur, had signed enough retainer clients to end the year in a positive and start to enjoy the spending of some of the things I have had stuck on my vision board for years.
On the other hand, it's been a very rough and emotional ride with my family and my living situation. Far from a bed or roses, I have finally settled into the flat on my sister's property, still living with my mom and figuring out how to make it possible to allow a man into the less than ideal situation.
I gained back the 13kg I lost before I became single and am trying to figure out how to lose it without becoming goal obsessed. If you were around then, you will remember that I was losing it for my wedding ... yep, how life has changed.
After my ex was long gone, friends started to tell me stories of how he was contacting them while we were together. No one ever said anything to me and it put a damper and a aimless spoke into the wheel of a lot of my beliefs about friendship. Feeling more like a lonely year where work consumed and me and no one really made time for themselves or each other, I racked up points for the tough lesson of friendship.
I didn't have time I wanted or needed to pursue some of the dreams like making #FollowSA bigger and better or turning project me into talks and workshops.
Some weeks I found that I hardly had time to blog and really didn't do enough considering all the goings on of the year.
Men ... well, I didn't blog much (or at all) about the diabolical choices I made in 2013 and how I tried to rekindle a few flames that only left me burned and a little more scared all over again. It did define more of what I want through and although I'm heading into the new year a little jaded and a touch afraid that he's not out there ... I also know that wound will heal in time and some crazy fool will realise I'm just as foolish and exactly what he's looking for.
Tomorrow is a new year! It's also the 4th birthday of my blog and a fresh start according to numerology and all that I believe in. It's my year as a 40 year old woman, a successful chick and a free spirit! It's my chance to take all that I learned, gained and became in 2013 and turn it into more of who I am and more what of what I know I want and deserve. Who knows ... I might even go for a roller coaster ride!!
I am wishing you all an incredible 2014, filled with the joys of discovering yourself and your world around you. No matter whether you are aware of it or not, each day, I hope you live your Project Me story with your compass set to happiness!