Get on board The Flow Experiment - project me post 1004 with @Fairygodmother

Since Fairy Godmother and I chatted for the first time about The Flow Experiment, I haven't done much more than silently utter the words, "flow" at random times in my day.

flow experiment

Get your free ebook to learn more about #FlowExperiment

Amazingly, we are all in the same boat. We are all trying to uncover the mystery of Flow and and the joy that lies beyond letting go, fearing less and living more.

All that I know of #FlowExperiment so far is what @Fairygodmother has shared on her Youtube channel:

There are 5 #FlowExperiment Youtube videos and each one gives a glimpse into Fairy Godmother's own personal journey of flow. Between that and following the Flow Experiment Facebook page, we should all be caught up and ready to begin the magical journey of this incredible experiment when the first course is launched.

When is that, you ask?

Just keep flowing and the timing will be perfect!
Follow Fairy Godmother on Twitter and Facebook for more info.


The normal of a Unique Lifestyle - project me post 1002

I don't think a post of mine has ever had a disclaimer, but there's a first time for everything.
So here goes ...
This post is written with love and pride for everyone who has found their lifestyle formula. No matter what anyone ?says (especially me) if you are happy, having fun, feeling fulfilled and living within your integrity with your body and your life, then I apologise for anything that might piss you off if my rant below.

I'm proudly a blogger for the Kelloggs Breakfast for Better Days campaign that is feeding millions of children around South Africa. With passion and excitement, I did my first post making the big announcement, only to be met by two Tweets that I think may have changed my life forever. Both people (fools) stated that cereal (carbs) are bad for. One suggested that the children rather be fed bacon and eggs and the other said that Tim Noakes would have a fit. After a diplomatic and partially sarcastic response, I attempted to let yet another radical lifestyle comment wash off my voluptuous hips.

I might have let it go had I not scrolled through my Facebook feed only to be met with Facebook status's like (my interpretations), "If I'm at gym and you're on the couch, you deserve to be fat." and "Just trained so hard that I nearly threw up all over my trainer. Yeah, that's the only way to do it." ?and "I just had the most delicious slice of red velvet cake and now I will punish myself with hardly any food and hours of exercise to get rid of it." and "My holiday was fab, but it made me fat, because I had fun."
I could go on for hours, but you just have to scroll through your own timeline to get the gist of what's happened to our mindset around food, health and lifestyle.

Of all the things that have been putting me off taking the plunge and sharing my story, while I figure my way through my weight and body issues, is the ex-fatty syndrome. Wow, it took me a while to realise that it's as cruel as the ex-smoker who chokes in dramatic glee at a friend who lights up. How quickly the ex forgets that shoving shame in their face is the same as shoving a pie down their throats. How insensitive to say, "if I can do it, anyone can."

I wake up every single day, determined that today I will be healthier! I go to sleep every night, disappointed that I wasn't determined enough to do it. I don't need to be pushed or shoved or told that I can!! Stop trying to push me up the hill or drag me down the lettuce path ... with perceived love!
I am an ex smoker! Yep ... you never knew! Mainly because I've never been that person who gives the smoker the very hard time and perpetuates their shame and addiction. I needed to hear myself say this, because I have to remind myself that it's not in my nature to frown on the individual who is eating the cake but is regarded as obese or can't make it up the flight of stairs with the coke in their hand.

I went to a trainer once, who wouldn't let me have a sip of wine, a piece of fruit or a morsel of carbohydrates and I did it ... I lost weight, but that's far from normal. I couldn't sustain that and as the weight piled back up, I became more upset with myself for failing. So I slowly began to emerge as a woman who has no clue what is okay to eat and what will make me fat if I even look at is skew.

I once thought that getting out of bed and moving my body for 30 minutes a few times a week was okay, but now, if it doesn't feel like muscles are going to tear and you could almost drown in your own sweat, the perception is that the weight will never shift.

At one stage I was eating a fortune of biltong as a snack, until the next person told me that red meat is not good for. One person says a glass of wine a night is perfect and the next says a glass of wine is equal to one, two, three slices of bread (depending on the extremist) ... on and on and on, until I sit with this blog post (and a glass of wine) too petrified to try anything else for fear of failure, not being good enough or getting started and having some tell me that sciences says I'm doing it wrong.


I take full responsibility. I repeat myself ... I take FULL responsibility!!!

I'm overweight and it's to do with not eating correctly and not getting off the couch often enough (or at all, lately). In that responsibility, I admit my fears and my vulnerability at the monstrous anxiety that comes along with changing my lifestyle.
Discipline, truth, saying no, saying yes, planning, focus, making time ... not fitting in, because I'm about to eat a potato at night!

Project Me has been a long journey of truly getting to know myself and of all the places I've battled, I'm truly left with my eating and my lifestyle.
I've avoided blogging, wept myself to sleep, hidden pictures that friends have posted on Facebook and walked into events riddlwed with embarrassment at my weight ... all while I've also had to endure watching everyone else tell me how they are getting it so right through their Tweets, Facebook posts and blogs.

So this is my commitment to myself:
From tomorrow I'm going to start to be normal!!!
I have no idea what that means, so I've taken the first step and admitted I need help. That help comes in the form of Sandy Goldberg with her Unique Lifestyle body, mind and soul journey.

Unique Lifestyle Logo1

As the blog posts, Tweets & Facebook updates unfold, I will share more of how Sandy is helping me and what I'm doing to live normal, with my Unique Lifestyle.
For starters, I stand on the scale tomorrow and weigh in, then don't stand on it for a month again. I have a balanced eating plan, have to commit to getting to at least one fitness activity and week and do anything else that keeps me moving during the week. I have positive affirmations and a vision of what I want my healthy lifestyle to be.
I also have a weekly Skype call with Sandy to keep me confident, conscious and on track.

I have mountains to climb. Some of them are great because they will be part of my exercise, but others are petrifying because, at the age of 40, I am about to embark on standing up to the extremes of the world and proving that this can be done ... normal!!

Brace yourselves for a bowl of cereal, sushi at night, a glass of wine for dinner and dancing around my room or walking up the road to grab a cup of coffee, as my form of exercise!
Get healthy, have fun and live normal ... what a unique lifestyle indeed!

I have to have absolute faith in the guidance I'm receiving and NO MATTER WHAT, I can't be swayed by the opinions of others. No Facebook post that shouts the destruction of carbs or the extreme fitness perception that there is no other ways to be healthy, or the temptation to self sabotage, because I think that a bowl of ice cream will make all my problems go away, will stand in my way.

There's only one way to do it though ... be transparent!
Tell Sandy! Tell myself! Tell you ... a blog, a Tweet, a status! One day at a time ... like normal!!!

Follow Sandy on Twitter

Follow me on Twitter


The quest to feel a little Shirley Valentine - project me post 1001

Although most blog posts are accompanied by a cup of tea, some courageous ones need a glass of wine or three and an over indulgent bowl of chocolate mousse. I'm trying to get through the?post?before I get to the bottom of the?bowl?or the glass ... so here goes!

I can't be sure, but I'm thinking that most people (not just?girls) who are single and have just arrived at 40, are very aware that this decade is supposed to be?filled with all things fabulous. I've slowly come to realise that?we don't wake up?one day after our birthday?and everything is different. I hope it would be like that, but alas, it felt like I had dragged my 30's with me, kicking, screaming and crying.

The clock struck 40 is September last year and I was filled with excitement and the thought of being braver, bolder and ... well ... a little like Shirley Valentine. If you're a whole lot younger than me, don't have a romantic bone in your body or have been under a rock since 1989, don't read any further until you've watched this amazing movie ...

I manifest the oddest things! It's a known fact that I decide I want something and I kinda harp on it for a ridiculously long time, then POOF, it arrives on my doorstep. I've wanted crazy things from specific material stuff, to Rome to Ronan Keating in London. I've held onto visions in my career and wanted very specific moments or people that I've been determined to meet. Then I've wanted my Shirley Valentine experience.

I'm a nerd!
You know that right?
When it comes to relationships and relating ... I'm such a nerd! Well, maybe I'm ultra cautious and very protective of both my heart and my reputation. Then there's this other side of me, who has been woken up by the combination of my project me journey and this magic number, forty!

Everything has shifted. I want bolder things. I want more exciting experiences. I want to manifest wilder moment in both my personal life and my career. I have discovered that I can have abundance and now I want it in many different forms.

Somehow, the thing I seemed to want to pursue most of all (except my very fancy Paul's Boutique handbag, which I finally got myself for Christmas) was this escape from the world, with a man who would mean something very dear to me, until the credits were about to role and I realised that I'm really happy in my real world. I even went as far as nearly sending myself off to Italy early this year. I got hold of a charming Italian friend who owns a guest house, told him to reserve me a room and start thinking about all of the single men he know. I kid you not!!!
Life and circumstances change and I couldn't just hop on a plane and live out my bizarre idea of a healing journey. It's like that song by Carly Simon, "I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me." I wasn't going to rest until I let go, took some risk is THAT department and felt a little like I had set myself free from my own rules and boundaries.

Shirley Valentine

Shirley Valentine

There's different degrees of detail, but in a nutshell, I ran as far away from my life as possible, checked into a hotel, for 5 days, without any plans ... and then made one! It was a whole lot of fun spending time with a near stranger and getting lost in a world that we both knew would only last as long as the holiday.

I contemplated sharing this story, but if it hadn't been so life changing and empowering, it would have been one I preferred to keep under the radar. However ... the turn of events ended up having one of the most profound Project Me impacts in a very long time.

So here goes ...

I spend my life thinking that men will overlook me for my weight. Then they don't and I spend the rest of my time thinking that far more wouldn't overlook me ... because of my weight. Sometimes I'm sure I am, but this weekend not. This weekend it didn't even feature.

Instead there was another obstacle.
I always try convince myself and everyone around me that my life is pretty simple and I'm just an average girl. I really try and fit into that role and turn the focus to how chilled out I promise I can be.
I'm not ...

I get given cars, hotel suites, champagne when I call for it. I hang out with celebrities and influencers and everyone wants a moment of my time when they figure out who I am. I NEVER would have admitted this was an okay part of my life before, because I'm so stuck on the fear of the world misunderstanding me. There's this humble part of me that began this journey online and I spend my days worrying that someone's going to miss it that humility.

I spend my life telling men I'm just this simple girl, but when my holiday adventurer freaked out about the abnormality of my life and referred to it as Hollywood and me as intense, I had to start admitting some truth to myself.

In steps the real Shirley Valentine lessons. Again ... if you haven't watched the movie, do so now to avoid the spoiler.
Going away and leaving your world behind, stepping into a character you thought you had, but weren't sure. The best that can happen is loving that side of yourself and knowing you have to come back to reality with it awakened. The worst than can happen is loving that side of yourself and knowing you have to come back to reality with that side of you awakened.

I loved that side of myself!!!
That absolute true Shirley Valentine moment, where you know you are changed forever, because you let go and took the time to be the woman you tried so hard not to be. That even truer moment where I knew that I had some things to admit to myself ...

I'm an influencer! I'm not simple and my life is a whole lot of outrageous and in the spotlight at times. My ordinary is not someone else's everyday. The events that transpired made it clearer ... and clearer, until I was finally lying in the king size bed of a luxury suite, with a glass of champagne in my hand and I realised, I will never be the same again after admitting that I'm not your Average Jo!



I have walked a thousand posts - project me post 1000

I began planning a lavish event, with venue, drinks, guests and maybe a touch of press coverage. Instead I'm sitting, humbly, in a hotel room with a cup of tea and overlooking the Cape Town Table Mountain.

A thousand posts!!!!

I remember the day it began on the 1st of January 2010. The only thing that's the same is the tea. Everything else in my life has transformed & shifted into an extraordinary story that has morphed my life with every passing Project Me post.

It's amazing. The Oscars are on right now, while I try not break out into dramatic lists of gratitude to everyone who has made this all possible (oh crap, it's starting already) ...

I had a vision, which I still have today. I also had a crazy idea, which I still have today. All I wanted was to be noticed enough to get my books published (not published yet) and this idea to blog, daily, for 365 days or until someone noticed me.
I share the most special business, Lifeology, with my incredible business partner, Greg Arthur, and we have plans within the people development and change management space that is thrilling. We both went on our different paths, to get our brand noticed and have both done just that. Mine ... Project Me!

A blog about living with courage, consciousness & a sense of humour. A life story that tries to show that it's possible?to live totally goalless but absolutely purposefully.

I've been on top of the world, come crashing down. I've succeeded?& failed. Loved and lost. My career, weight, relationships, visions, hang-up, let downs, shining moments, are all amidst these 1000 posts.

Okay, I can't get through this without one massive thanks!
As the days drew towards January 2010, I sat on he edge of my best friend &?business partner's couch, while he worked at his laptop. "I'm going to blog daily, for a year," I told him.
It took a long time for us to establish an understanding of how we operate in the world and at that stage my Greggie wasn't super well adjusted to me coming up with an idea that had no beginning, middle or end. It just had a hazy idea of what it could bring me or what I wanted to achieve. I think that will always be one of my greatest qualities and the fact that Greg trusts enough to let me run with them will be one of his.

So I did ... and I don't know how to thank him enough for the support, through every post, but also through every project me moment of my life!!!

Beyond my story, this blog has been read by the most special people. Some are still around from post one and others have met up with me somewhere along the way. I've made friends from all corners of the world and had support from the least expected humans. I've also slowly discovered that there are so many who have quietly followed my story and have been told over a dinner or in the isle of supermarket, when people put a name to my project me journey.

Hundreds of posts have taken me to places I could only have dreamed of, from travel destinations, movie premiers, awards ceremonies and given me an array of opportunities I would not have been afforded.

Some of it is?tongue in cheek when I say that all I want is to feel like a princess, and write! Some of it's very real!!
So while I sit, feeling exactly like a princess (the happy, Disney kind) in a lavish suite at the Tsogo Sun, Southern Sun Cullinan Hotel, doing what I love best, writing, I can't begin to express my happiness, pride, gratitude and love that has me living my story in real life.

Special thanks goes to the brands who have?so graciously?supported me in my?project me journey and have made both this?perfectly timed trip to?Cape Town and this special post, be so possible:
Microsoft SA for providing me with a smart?Twist Lenovo?ThinkPad, powered by Windows?8

#ProjectMe kept going by @MicrosoftSA #Windows8

#ProjectMe kept going by @MicrosoftSA #Windows8

My?bright pink travel partner Sammy, my Samsonite?suitcase

Taking me places, my @Samsonite_SA suitcase

Taking me places, my @Samsonite_SA suitcase traveling #SamsTravel style

Peugeot South Africa for my 208 GTi ride through the gorgeous Cape

Driven with #FeelPeugeot motion & emotion thanks to @PeugeotZA

Driven with #FeelPeugeot motion & emotion thanks to @PeugeotZA

Tsogo Sun, Southern Sun Cullinan Hotel for my home while on holiday & for hosting my get together of all my Cape Town peeps while I'm in town.

Always my home away from home. This time @TsogoSun #SSCullinan

Always my home away from home. This time @TsogoSun #SSCullinan