I don't think a post of mine has ever had a disclaimer, but there's a first time for everything.
So here goes ...
This post is written with love and pride for everyone who has found their lifestyle formula. No matter what anyone ?says (especially me) if you are happy, having fun, feeling fulfilled and living within your integrity with your body and your life, then I apologise for anything that might piss you off if my rant below.
I'm proudly a blogger for the Kelloggs Breakfast for Better Days campaign that is feeding millions of children around South Africa. With passion and excitement, I did my first post making the big announcement, only to be met by two Tweets that I think may have changed my life forever. Both people (fools) stated that cereal (carbs) are bad for. One suggested that the children rather be fed bacon and eggs and the other said that Tim Noakes would have a fit. After a diplomatic and partially sarcastic response, I attempted to let yet another radical lifestyle comment wash off my voluptuous hips.
I might have let it go had I not scrolled through my Facebook feed only to be met with Facebook status's like (my interpretations), "If I'm at gym and you're on the couch, you deserve to be fat." and "Just trained so hard that I nearly threw up all over my trainer. Yeah, that's the only way to do it." ?and "I just had the most delicious slice of red velvet cake and now I will punish myself with hardly any food and hours of exercise to get rid of it." and "My holiday was fab, but it made me fat, because I had fun."
I could go on for hours, but you just have to scroll through your own timeline to get the gist of what's happened to our mindset around food, health and lifestyle.
Of all the things that have been putting me off taking the plunge and sharing my story, while I figure my way through my weight and body issues, is the ex-fatty syndrome. Wow, it took me a while to realise that it's as cruel as the ex-smoker who chokes in dramatic glee at a friend who lights up. How quickly the ex forgets that shoving shame in their face is the same as shoving a pie down their throats. How insensitive to say, "if I can do it, anyone can."
I wake up every single day, determined that today I will be healthier! I go to sleep every night, disappointed that I wasn't determined enough to do it. I don't need to be pushed or shoved or told that I can!! Stop trying to push me up the hill or drag me down the lettuce path ... with perceived love!
I am an ex smoker! Yep ... you never knew! Mainly because I've never been that person who gives the smoker the very hard time and perpetuates their shame and addiction. I needed to hear myself say this, because I have to remind myself that it's not in my nature to frown on the individual who is eating the cake but is regarded as obese or can't make it up the flight of stairs with the coke in their hand.
I went to a trainer once, who wouldn't let me have a sip of wine, a piece of fruit or a morsel of carbohydrates and I did it ... I lost weight, but that's far from normal. I couldn't sustain that and as the weight piled back up, I became more upset with myself for failing. So I slowly began to emerge as a woman who has no clue what is okay to eat and what will make me fat if I even look at is skew.
I once thought that getting out of bed and moving my body for 30 minutes a few times a week was okay, but now, if it doesn't feel like muscles are going to tear and you could almost drown in your own sweat, the perception is that the weight will never shift.
At one stage I was eating a fortune of biltong as a snack, until the next person told me that red meat is not good for. One person says a glass of wine a night is perfect and the next says a glass of wine is equal to one, two, three slices of bread (depending on the extremist) ... on and on and on, until I sit with this blog post (and a glass of wine) too petrified to try anything else for fear of failure, not being good enough or getting started and having some tell me that sciences says I'm doing it wrong.
I take full responsibility. I repeat myself ... I take FULL responsibility!!!
I'm overweight and it's to do with not eating correctly and not getting off the couch often enough (or at all, lately). In that responsibility, I admit my fears and my vulnerability at the monstrous anxiety that comes along with changing my lifestyle.
Discipline, truth, saying no, saying yes, planning, focus, making time ... not fitting in, because I'm about to eat a potato at night!
Project Me has been a long journey of truly getting to know myself and of all the places I've battled, I'm truly left with my eating and my lifestyle.
I've avoided blogging, wept myself to sleep, hidden pictures that friends have posted on Facebook and walked into events riddlwed with embarrassment at my weight ... all while I've also had to endure watching everyone else tell me how they are getting it so right through their Tweets, Facebook posts and blogs.
So this is my commitment to myself:
From tomorrow I'm going to start to be normal!!!
I have no idea what that means, so I've taken the first step and admitted I need help. That help comes in the form of Sandy Goldberg with her Unique Lifestyle body, mind and soul journey.
As the blog posts, Tweets & Facebook updates unfold, I will share more of how Sandy is helping me and what I'm doing to live normal, with my Unique Lifestyle.
For starters, I stand on the scale tomorrow and weigh in, then don't stand on it for a month again. I have a balanced eating plan, have to commit to getting to at least one fitness activity and week and do anything else that keeps me moving during the week. I have positive affirmations and a vision of what I want my healthy lifestyle to be.
I also have a weekly Skype call with Sandy to keep me confident, conscious and on track.
I have mountains to climb. Some of them are great because they will be part of my exercise, but others are petrifying because, at the age of 40, I am about to embark on standing up to the extremes of the world and proving that this can be done ... normal!!
Brace yourselves for a bowl of cereal, sushi at night, a glass of wine for dinner and dancing around my room or walking up the road to grab a cup of coffee, as my form of exercise!
Get healthy, have fun and live normal ... what a unique lifestyle indeed!
I have to have absolute faith in the guidance I'm receiving and NO MATTER WHAT, I can't be swayed by the opinions of others. No Facebook post that shouts the destruction of carbs or the extreme fitness perception that there is no other ways to be healthy, or the temptation to self sabotage, because I think that a bowl of ice cream will make all my problems go away, will stand in my way.
There's only one way to do it though ... be transparent!
Tell Sandy! Tell myself! Tell you ... a blog, a Tweet, a status! One day at a time ... like normal!!!
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