I'm only human - project me post 1008

I'm tough! I'm tough! I'm tough! I'm ... sick! Flu!! Exhausted!!

I think the shock has let in! Not surprising at all ... because that's what happens to humans!

I forget that sometimes ... I'm only human.
I'm so used to being tough and priding myself in handling it, surviving it, dealing with it, overcoming it ...

Thanks to my new, special and faraway friend @CameronInSD, who I can't wait to Skype with every Monday, this song was shared with me at the most perfect time.
After the car accident I went into my usual space of "I'm fine ... I'm always fine!", but bodies do what they must and emotions do what they need to whether we fight it or not, so by the end of Sunday afternoon, I was riddled with flu.
Monday comes and I do my usual, "I'm fine ... riddled with flu, but still fine, because I'm always fine!"

My Project Me journey has been an incredible one and I pride myself in coming so far and being so tough, but today, after chatting to Cam and having to take sneeze breaks, I have let this song play over and over and over in my head, because there's another lesson that I have to get.

There's the part about not always being so tough, about being vulnerable and about falling apart a little. There's the Project Me part that scares the living daylights out of me ... the part where I may need help, a shoulder to cry on, the answers found for me, a cup of tea brought for me.

There's that part ... the human part!
The part where I can crash and break down and I will still be the Me that I have worked so hard to be ...

These words might have been written for someone else, but when I listen to it, it's written for me ... from me!!!

I can hold my breath

I can bite my tongue
I can stay away for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
'Til I've had enough

'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

Because accidents happen - project me post 1007

accident project meProudly, I can say that it's my first accident. Not so bad for 40!

It's also not too shabby to say that I was smacked into while obeying the rules of the road.

It's amazing, when I was learning to drive a family friend kept drumming into my head that it's not about how I drive, but how the people drive around me. One on hand, it always made me a little more cautious and on the other, maybe not the best driver because I stick to the speed limit, hate changing lanes and piss off everyone (mostly men) that I drive with.

The up side is that I saw the come jump the robot, let my instinct guide me and swerved away from the car, who clearly took a while to realise he's gone straight through the red and was heading for me.

Here's the part that, that really online sunk in today, when I got a dose of post accident reality and lay in a nauseous heap for most of the afternoon. My car began to spin and hit his for a second time, which buckled my wheel and brought me to a dead halt ... facing peak hour oncoming traffic. The light was red for them and once semi hefty person could fit between my car and the cars I almost flung into.

I'm not sure if the world has changed, or if this is how it always happens, but no one stopped to help. Everyone just maneuvered around my car ... and some even hooted in frustration. Got to love humans!!

project me accidentMy oldest sister to the rescue.
A fight between two tow truck companies.
3 Metro police vehicles who drove by and didn't stop.
And ...
One bruised boob!

Project Me has been much more than a blog. It's been more than a story to tell and inspiration that has been spread to those who have shared my journey. Project Me has been a way of life that guides me through moment with consciousness and courage.

In the TedX talk I did a few weeks back, I ended it by saying that Project Me has helped me learn to throw my hands up in the air and say, "why, thank you Universe," and not "Why me Universe?"

Accidents happen.
I don't see some great lesson that I have to learn from this and I am not trying to figure out if I'm not grateful or conscious enough. Money issues might arise, but it's not an issue. I may be in for the sad reality that my car, which really kept me safe through this and has been a part of me for nearly a decade, might have seen it's last days with me, but I am ready for that too.

I always believe I'm guided and watched over so I thanks my Universe for this moment as I thank my Universe for every moment.

It's human nature to play the what if game, I've done that for a few hours. My car could have hit the oncoming traffic, it could have flipped, it could have ... could have ... but didn't!! I'm so grateful for that!! A gratitude that I've been preparing myself for every single day of Project Me life.

Yesterday, while lying in bed and trying to figure out whether I really wasn't injured of if shock was just holding me all together, I stumbled across this Tweet, "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it," by John Maxwell.

How true ...

Start your story happily ever after - project me post 1006

happily ever after project meI've had the most amazing past few weeks. It has been filled with confirmation that what I believe works, actually works. I'm not sure if that only makes sense to me, but who do we know something we believe in is real until we have tried and proved it to ourselves?

Amazing things are starting to happen with telling my Project Me story, including having spoken at TedX in Vanderbijlpark. It's been on my vision board and in my big plans to speak on the Ted platform and that moment was one huge step closer. From that, the spin offs have been amazing and it's rekindled my reflections and steps that it's taken to live "project me'.
I'm now working with an awesome PR agency, who are going to help me create more awareness and really work on getting into the speaker circuit. In the process, they have asked me two write the story of my life, which highlights key moments along my Project Me journey.

Of course they asked me for it well over a week ago and although a dozen things keep stopping me from sitting down and writing this story that I know by heart, I haven't stopped thinking about the special story that has been my life. Because everything works in perfect synchronicity, I am starting to reap the rewards that I started to visualise and wonder if I would manifest when I started to blog my story. I threw many things out there and then clung to whatever belief in myself and how I believe the universe works, and lo and behold ... it's here!

In my TedX talk I spoke not only about the things that I have manifested, but also the things that I have not been able to, no matter how hard I have tried. That part of life is still boggling me, but what would be do if there were no mystery left?
From career opportunities, financial freedom to material manifestations coming true, almost to a Tee, people now want to know how Project Me really works. More than that, the whole point of this (in hindsight) is that I'm not the only one who should be living Project Me. Back to that starting point then ...

I shouldn't be blogging. I should be writing my story that the PR agency are patiently waiting for. I go into autopilot and reflect back, as if the story would be begin with, "once upon a time," but all I can think of is ?"and she lived happily ever after?"
I visualise every day and I have a vision board, with some definite things I want and some ideas of what I think I want, but either way, my thoughts definitely haven't changed from what I have generally wanted.

If I tell you that I have sat in my car and screamed, with abundant joy, at the things that I have manifested of late, would you believe me? I've literally yelped in gratitude and now that I'm consciously about to write my story, I'm realising how very important it is to start at:


Shameless confessions of a ditsy girl - project me post 1005

Learning to laugh at myself has been one of the greatest gifts I could have given myself. It took a while, trust me. I went through a phase where all I wanted to do was "fix" myself.
I convinced myself that there were so many things wrong with me, that it would be impossible for someone to love me. Then I started to take the time to get to know myself, as I would hope someone would and I started to see a more endearing, yet still potentially annoying, personality emerge.

There's a country song that goes a little something like this:
I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank god that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

My bestie always says, "someone will love you," usually while rolling his eyes at a number of things that make up the greater part (not necessarily better part) of my personality.

So while running late for my client today & doing a very bad job of not annoying the living daylights out of myself, I decide it might be project me like to fall a little more in love with my personality. If I don't do it first ... who will!

Murphy is a really grumpy old man, because that very statement sent my day into a long line of dumb moments.

My directions suck! My diary has about 80% of the events that I actually have to attend. I am technically challenged beyond belief and most men will tell you that I drive like really badly.
It takes me about 2 hours to get ready in the morning, purely because I'm faffing and get completely distracted by social media. I never finish a cup of tea and lose my keys at least once a week. I have two pairs of glasses ... one usually has to be worn while I search for the other one and lose my to do list before I'm done.

So today, when I finally got to work about an hour late, I sat down to get stuck into work and pulled out my laptop cord ... which belonged to another laptop from home. This ... amazingly ... is not the first time! This ... is not the first time with the same client.

Thanks heaven's I'm so endearing!!!

jodene project me