What if nothing changes and it's okay? - Project Me Post 1043

[html ]After speaking to a great inspirational support of mine, and being encouraged to follow in his footsteps, I have finally embarked on writing the Project Me book.

To cut a very long story short, because this decision has been going on for well over 4 years now, I finally listened to the voices in my head. It's amazing because I tell everyone else to, but I'm the typical teacher who takes my own advice last. I've had a few interesting things happen over the past months and through watching how I handle things, I have started to feel more confident that I could share my Project Me tools and teaching with the rest of the world. You see, I'm not yet settled down and in love like the world requires. I'm also not completely financially stable like the money guru would need to be. I'm still kinda lost in the world when it comes to figuring out the very things that I know I was born to share with the world, and so I have stalled the process for far too long.

Sit down and commit two hours a day to writing! Seriously ... people have time to do that?
That was the first issue to overcome and over the past few weeks, I just haven't had a moment.

The Friday night something changed. I finally braved my way back into the dating game, only to be dumped for a first "date" (because I'm not sure if we even date anymore). I was dressed and ready to go, so I thought, fuck it and went out anyway. I took myself to an expensive restaurant and had starters and mains, while finances are a little tight and the place was filled with couples, families and groups of friends. I thought that if I didn't do this, I would crawl back into my shell and really become the spinster I fear I will end up being.
I took my notebook with (a brand new one), finished dinner while the restaurant quietened down and emptied out and then I opened the first page and wrote "Project Me Book". I then plotted out some of the lessons I would like to share, without over thinking it ... because I totally have the ability to just focus and not over think *coughs*. That was all I did ... then I headed home.

I do listen to the voices and they said, go back to the first blog post and pull out the ones that you can use directly in the book. Well, that was always the plan, but I was first going to write everything and then find the blog posts. Now the blog posts seem to be plotting my content more than I am. Of course I would turn the writing process on its head.

So I did ...
1 January 2010 and 92 post read through in the first day. I took way more than 2 hours, but I became fascinated!
Repeated patterns!!! OMG, that was all that I saw. Here I am, nearly 5 years down the line and I was my reading things that I literally happening now. The dating game, the hiding of my friend with benefits because the world says otherwise, still living with my mother & wanting silence ... wow, I even got stood up within the first 20 blog post. Exercise ... well, nothing much has changed there and as for my battle with food, that's still being written about.

I had a pang of anxiety and through that maybe now would be a great time for a career change. How could I guide the world in anything when I was repeating patterns?

Wait one minute!
The girl who got stood up the last time, took it personally and was wounded for ages, tiptoeing around men for a while while she tried to figure out what was wrong with her. Now, I put on my lipstick and threw myself back into the world.

The girl had a friend, who she said she was comfortable not being committed to, but obsessed over what it meant to be a friend with benefits and now I have an incredible bond with a special man and we are what we said we are ... because it works for me way better than the relationship choices I still know I have work to do on.

The girl who hated exercise (and still does) used to force herself to go to gym and even unconsciously injured herself to get out of it, while now I walk and do squats and feel that it is enough ... for now.

The girl had financial issues that stemmed in being petrified and unsure of the career choices, and now I have a grown up business situation of cash flow.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
I am determined to be more vocal about how the self help guidance we have been given might be a little too skewed for the journey of a human spirit. We have been forced into change and breaking our patterns, but maybe we are pushing to change the wrong things?
I read one of my blog posts, where I spoke about being free spirited when it comes to relationships and I also read how I made a dozen excuses about being different to my friends who settle down and get married. I then did the whole settle down thing, because it felt like the right thing to do and it was so wrong for me (maybe just for the time being) so pushed and tried to change the wrong thing. Maybe the situation hasn't finished teaching us what it needs to and it shouldn't change just yet ...

Maybe not until we have changed our perception and learned all we need to about our human spirit and just how brave, powerful and abundant we really are?

Maybe we are meant to dance to the same song over and over, until the words sink in ...[/html]

Win tickets & R500 worth of goodies to the Sanlam #HandmadeContemporary FoodWineDesign Fair

Tell me combination of Food Wine & Design doesn't thrill you?

It thrills me beyond words and I just want to share. I want to stroll through the 2,ooosqm rooftop of Hyde Park Corner, surrounded by an incredible 117 of South Africa artisans and explore how this 5 year old fair has blossomed into a mini world of the finest, prettiest and yummiest.

Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Food


This year's name change from FoodWineDesign to the Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair, Artlogic is going to bring this concept to life in a dedicated space at the event. From leather workers, to jewellers, ice cream makers and hand pulled noodle experts, several artisans will take turns to temporarily showcase their craft at the Fair.

Is it the perfect dessert? Do you paint? Sew? Draw? Are you crafting beer in your kitchen? Is your jewelry being warn by friends and family?

Tweet or instagram: @jodenecoza?and @FWD_Fair?a picture of your craft, with the hashtag #HandmadeContemporary
Head to my Facebook page and share your pic there:?#ProjectMe?and tag FoodWineDesign in, with the hashtag!!


Much more info about Sanlam #HandmadeContemporary GoodFoodDesign Fair

Much more info about Sanlam #HandmadeContemporary GoodFoodDesign Fair


Official event website: www.foodwinedesign.co.za
Follow FoodWineDesign on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sanlamfoodwinedesign
FoodWineDesign on Twitter: https://twitter.com/FWD_Fair

Press release and ticket purchase info:?

Having established itself as Joburg?s favourite boutique event, the Fair returns this year with several exciting special projects up its sleeve. ?We have had very encouraging feedback on the bold name change from FoodWineDesign to the Handmade Contemporary Fair,? says Fair curator, Roberta Thatcher. ?For us our new name encompasses all the curatorial work that goes into this event to bring together true artisans immersed in their craft.? As part of the experience of the newly rebranded Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair, Artlogic will bring this concept to life in a unique special project. From leather workers, to jewellers, ice cream makers and hand pulled noodle experts, several artisans will take turns to temporarily showcase their craft in a dedicated space at the Fair. Visitors will be able to view these producers at work and interact with them, thus gaining an exclusive glimpse into the studio life of artisans.

?Another special project we?re excited about is Chefs in the City,? says Roberta. ?This project will see three top chefs ? David Higgs of the Saxon Boutique Hotel, Michael Holenstein from De Hoek Country House, and Thom Hughes of the Griffin, Perron and Steamworks, taking turns to treat visitors to their signature dishes.?

The Fair will once again take place on the rooftop of Hyde Park Corner, an ideal venue which offers the perfect combination of urban chic, convenience and gorgeous city views. What?s more, the spatial restrictions of the roof mean that the Fair has grown in quality, rather than quantity, with talented producers competing for a space in the exclusive event.? Apart from returning exhibitors such as Dark Horse, YSWARA, and Dear Rae, fans can expect newcomers such as jeweller, Kirsten Goss, Hemma Furniture, Lulu and Marula and Nigerian fashion designer, Tae Afrika, who will be showcasing her new range, straight off the catwalks of Lagos.

On the food side, look out for new exhibitors such as Gwefey Asian Cuisine, Chef Susan Greig and Coobs, while the Fair is excited to welcome many first-time wine exhibitors, including Cavalli Estate, Oneiric, ?Painted Wolf Wines and Marianne Wine Estate .

As sponsors of the Fair, Sanlam Investment?s approach to investing and creating future wealthsmiths is to identify businesses with great potential, no matter what their size, and support their growth over the long term which is why the Fair has always been such a natural fit for the business.? Carl Roothman, Chief Executive of Sanlam?s Investment Retail Business says: ?As local and well-made are integral parts of the Fair, and much like the exhibitors are experts in their chosen field, Sanlam is the expert in investments and understands the importance of being able to offer a superior product.?

Carl concludes by saying: ?Over the past five years the Fair has not only seen a rise of similar events country wide, but it also continues to celebrate the pioneering spirit of South African entrepreneurs as it blazes its own notable trail, and that is the type of high quality that we at Sanlam take pride in being associated with.?

Tickets are available at the door for R100 (kids 12 and under enter free) and online via www.webtickets.co.za for R90. ?For more information on the Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair visit www.foodwinedesign.co.za or contact Artlogic on info@artlogic.co.za.

Sanlam Handmade Contemporary (FoodWineDesign) Fair (Rooftop of Hyde Park Corner)

?Opening times:

?Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Design



About the Sanlam Handmade Contemporary (FoodWineDesign) Fair:

In November 2010, Artlogic produced the first Sanlam FoodWineDesign Fair on the rooftop of Hyde Park Corner. The Fair, which celebrates its fifth year anniversary, is an upmarket event that showcases and celebrates the best that South Africans are producing in these three fields. Following an international trend for shows in the creative spheres to take place in unusual and custom made spaces, the venue of the Fair creates a fittingly bespoke experience.

The Fair is the first event to combine food, wine and design ? all lifestyle areas that converge on high quality production and craftsmanship. Each producer is hand-picked and the number of participants is limited to focus on the best and most unique.

Confirmed exhibitors include: Kirsten Goss, Simon and Mary hats, David Walters ceramics, A Love Supreme, CCDI, Leathim, KIN, Detail, 24, Mungo, Blank Ink Designs, Lulu and Marula, Ilundi, Colori a Mano ceramics, Cafe des Arts, Paul?s Homemade Ice Cream, The Really Interesting Food Company, Black Elephant Vintners, Vrede en Lust, Foothills, Craft Liquor Merchants, Hermanuspieterfontein, Cavalli, Henriette Botha, Huguenot Fine Chocolates and Waterford.


I focused so much on the weight that I missed the loss - project me post 1044

I had this realisation a few months ago, but knew that the time would be right when I could blog about this and not be angry at myself.

August 1013 and I was perfect. If only I had noticed it.

August 1013 and I was perfect. If only I had noticed it.

When I first saw the picture of myself in a different light, I wept.

I was scrolling through pictures after I received the new HP printer and was given the fun task of printing out images from my Pinterest board for the #Printerest campaign. I absolutely loved the idea of printing and it's a dream of a printer, with photo quality results, so the hunt to print more than just pics of vision board dreams began.
If you take a stroll through my Facebook pictures it really is a roller coaster of varying weights, most of which I can always identify with as needing to "fix" something about myself.

But then I go to this one. It was taken just over a year ago and at that stage, on the very day that I took the pic, I was still commenting on the additional 10 or 15 or 20 kilos that I wanted to lose.
I remember, I was proud of myself and I did feel great, but it wasn't good enough.
This can't be the only moment when I was perfect in my own skin and I missed it. Most of the photographs that I had of myself burned in the family home fire in 2004 (the ironic start of my Project Me journey), so I don't have many left, but if I did, I'm sure this would be a recurring theme in my life.

I was just about to squeeze myself into a size 38 here and once upon a time I used to be a size 46 (or a size 20). That's a huge achievement but no matter how great I felt at any point, it just wasn't good enough. I have had this image of me being an ideal size 34 (at least) for an eternity and I got so fixated on that, that I totally missed the point we all wait to get to ... maintaining a happy, healthy weight!!

I think I unconsciously saddened myself when I missed this moment and it feels like, from that day, I slowly slipped back into old patterns and crept my way back into my 44's. It took about a year of repeated patterns, with the biggest one being downright means to myself.

Fast forward to staring at a picture of myself where all I could see was perfection!!
It took a while to calm down and not feel a thousand steps behind and then I started to shift my focus and my perception. The first thing I did was dig out the pair of jeans I wore in the pic and hold them against me. I stared at myself until I felt contentment that, when I got back into them I would feel perfect and it would be enough. I totally re framed what I expected of myself and now I see perfectionist when I look at the picture. Not what the world defines as perfect, but what I have!

I then took the picture and instead of making it a goal, I made it an achievement. I have done that with other pics, like finally buying the handbag I wanted or seeing the part of the world I have had on my vision board for ages. We get so stuck on plastering images of what we want all over the place that I really think we forget to print out and stick up the things we have achieved.

Gratitude ... well hasn't that been watered down to nothing. It's become as trendy as ... okay, let me not get distracted and start ranting, but it's hard to ignore that fact that we banter around with gratitude a little too much. Scrap the vision board of dreams and visions ... what would you print, that depicts how far you have come and how grateful you are? That became the burning questions as I sat with glossy photograph paper to print.

Me ... I printed me!

I printed me when I was perfect and I missed it!
I printed me as the compass that I have now set to head back to an achievable happiness!
I printed me as a token of gratitude for the love and care that I know I have the ability to give to my body!

In the few months since I had this realisation, I have gotten myself back into a size 42 and I am about to hop, skip and squeeze myself in a size 40 if I just keep doing what I'm doing ... simple, easy, calm, focused, grateful and purely heading back to one particular pair of jeans.

My vision for my body has never been attainable. I'm sure some fitness guru out there is going to freak or a weight loss diva is going to tell me that I'm in denial and I can lose more, achieve more, push more ... I have so been there, done that! There are thousands of us out there who have been there and exhausted ourselves trying to reach goals that break us more than fix us!!

Find yours ... it's out there!!

Today I'm a Wired Women - Project Me post 1042

wired women

Today I wake up with a special kind of pride in myself. It's been just under 5 years since I started telling my #ProjectMe story and I had a very clear vision from the start.
This blog and all my hard work of creating my online personality was going to be the vehicle to drive my passion ... my passion for writing, speaking and guiding others along their journey to become their own project!

I had no clue that I'd end up in the social media space and that a different path, with a second business would come out of that too, but it's more of an affirmation that when we set our compass to happiness, we may have no clue what that means, but we'll be thrilled when we get there.

So today I'm sitting on the afternoon panel at #WiredWomen and we are chatting about online personal branding. Not only am I excited that the topic is yet another affirmation that I am on track, but I am so grateful that I met the owner of QualityLife, Debby Edelstein, years ago and we both agree that the timing is just right to finally be a part of this ever growing conference.

Thank you for this opportunity, Debby ...

Here's the press release and I encourage you to follow the hashtag #WiredWomen, through the day!!

Fourth Wired Women Conference set to provide crucial platform for aspiring tech leaders


?Companies across Africa are experiencing the innovation and collaboration that talented female leaders are bringing to the workplace. We are currently in an exciting phase as the business world adapts to the impact that these tech leaders bring to a range of industries. It?s time to come together to explore new ways of encouraging innovation, diversity and collaboration as Africa continues its steady rise on the world stage.?

So says Debby Edelstein, CEO of QualityLife Company, organisers of the Wired Women Conference set to take place at the Protea Hotel Parktonian in Braamfontein on Thursday 23 October.

Delegates to the fourth annual Wired Women Conference will have the opportunity to hear first-hand insights from some of the top female and male tech and business leaders on the African continent. ?We have recently seen a surge in mentorship by experienced tech leaders to the rising female stars on the continent. Women are talking about diversity, change and the impact they make in their organisations. The conference will connect more of our rising female and male tech stars and unlock new opportunities for collaboration and knowledge-sharing.?

The one day conference will feature a range of keynote presentations and panel discussions with some of the most recognisable names in tech, including Enyonam Kumahor, regional managing director of ThoughtWorks, which was nominated as Best African Company of 2013; Professor Barry Dwolatzky, director of the Joburg Centre for Software Engineering and Dr Miriam Altman, Head of Strategy at Telkom. ?Staying true to our vision of also creating a platform for tomorrow?s rising stars, the conference will also feature a number of up-and-coming female tech leaders who are making an impact in their organisations.?

?After a long association with QualityLife, Strate is pleased to once again be sponsoring the Wired Women Conference. Events of this nature bring together businesswomen to discuss not only the future of technology but, more importantly, the ways in which we can bring more women into this growing industry,? says Monica Singer, CEO of Strate.

Kusile Mtunzi-Hairwadzi, General Manager of the MTN SA Foundation, also sponsors of the Wired Women Conferences, says: ?MTN SA Foundation?s ICT development projects are not only about supporting the implementation of technology in communities. Developing innovative solutions that allow all to leverage the growing talents in ICT has become a key pillar in our Foundation programmes. We will continue to make a significant contribution in developing women for leading roles in the bold new digital world that beckons women in the 21st century and beyond.?

Panel discussion themes at this year?s conference includes:

About QualityLife Company

In addition to its sterling reputation for creating events and conference which transcend ?death by PowerPoint? and rather create communities of thought leaders, QualityLife Company specialises in providing a range of dynamic, highly effective short courses which focus on leadership development, communication and people skills. It also provides a consultancy service developing and designing customised training interventions - from facilitated conversation to conferences.

What has happened to the dating game - project me post 1041

Warning: Don't read this is you still have a conservative view of dating and relationships.

I didn't realise how safe I had made my life since my break-up. The more I think about it, I can see that my original choice of man was a reflection of what the world expected of me.
It's just been easier to make myself unavailable. It's been simple to take a slow recovery from a broken heart, engulf myself in my work, live comfortably with my family and have no space in my bed between my 3 cat children.

About 80% of my friend circle is made up of gorgeous gay men. It stems from my bestie and just continues to flow in burst of happy rainbow humans. They do dinners and brunch, they do clubbing and camping (no the real deal, not just wrist flapping) and they also do trying to figure out why their fruit fly is single.

So after too much bubbly & my bestie not there to protect me from the boldness of a pack of Queens, I was convinced to get back into the dating game. It's so easy these days ... just hop onto a free app and swipe your way through an array of potential matches.

I met my ex and my "friend with benefits" on dating sites. It was back when we were all on free Facebook apps, still pretty fresh at putting ourselves out there in this new way of meeting people. We would discreetly say that we were not looking for anything serious. We would go for coffee first ... it didn't have to even get cold before it was time for the second "date". I would suspect that maybe a guy or two were married and trying to search for some fun, but I stuck to my "more than one pic and willing to become Facebook friends" rules and I had a fun, good time. I'm still friends with some of them and nearly married the other.

Fast forward about 4 years and I may just be that 40 something girl, but as fast at technology has moved on, so has the dating game. It's not even called dating anymore, I don't think ...

I've never professed to being a prude or an angel. On the contrary, at one stage of my life I was a speaker at Sexpo and encouraging women to get okay with their bodies and revel in our body's right to fully enjoy sex.
I've also been very open about not wanting the traditional get married, have kids life. My mother still freaks out when I tell her that I'm totally into Mr Right Now! The only time I wanted something different, the wheels all fell off ... the best times of my life have been with Mr InTheMoment.

I still have self respect and integrity though.
I still want to know the truth of who you are so that I can decide if I'm going to let you into my space for a chat, a coffee, a kiss or sex.

I'm an intelligent woman ... at least I think I am. I'm cautious, stick to my rules to ensure that I find the truth of the person I'm engaging with and yet, I'm confessing that I have no clue as to whether he was married or not.
Someone has to say it ... someone who is on there has to say that they've seen familiar faces of people who chose to commit. I have! Then there are ones who are honest about it and say they are married, shouldn't be there and are looking someone for discreet fun.

I can't label my belief system, but it pretty much goes along the lines of our existence being a choice, our bodies being sacred and our intentions being our Karma. That makes this crazy world of dating very difficult. Men haven't asked me for coffee ... they have asked me naked pictures. They haven't sent me their number, they have sent me their penis pics. They haven't asked me to dinner ... they have asked me who's house we are going to shag at during their lunch hour.

Here's the clincher ... barring the unwanted pics of male anatomy popping up unexpectedly and without welcome and the uncertainty of trusting the promise of being single ... I get why this does work.

If you want the fairy tale stuff, then swiping through pictures that are basically a sex catalog is not the place to be hanging out.
However, if like me, you can openly admit that you are still human, with wants and needs and have some level of self worth and respect ... then why not play??

Dear mom, if you've read this ... thanks for teaching me about choices and consequence!!

My totem guide tattoo - project me post 1040

The day I decided to get my first tattoo, and knew what I wanted, the hunt began. It didn't take long and when I found the Moon Goddess, it was love at first sight. That's what a tat is meant to be ... the symbolism that will ensure your making will be eternally sacred and the image that speaks to your soul on the canvas of your life.

Yes, I'm that passionate about the one I have and I have wanted another one since the day I got the first in 2010.

A dragon and a wolf ... I never would have blogged about this pre my back injury all those years back, but if it weren't for my belief in the other world and my drawing of strength from my own forms of medicine and healing, I don't know how long that recovery would have taken. That was the first time I spoke about it, but I've had my guides with me for many years.

My wolf, my totem guide, who stares me down when dare fall into the shadow of my strengths and abilities.
My dragon, who smashed things in my home, in a clumsy attempt to get my attention, until I made space for her in my life.

We all have beliefs that someone else doesn't understand or resonate with and for the longest time, I lurked around, unsure of how the world would react to. Then I started to meet people who guides too and who proudly marked their bodies with the energies that have helped them mold their lives into what they are today.

For me, these two energies are fundamental in who I am, what I believe in and what carries me to where I am going.

I have wanted to do this for ages, but planned to do two different tats, one of the wolf and one of the dragon. I have even had the dragon sketched more than once, but no one seemed to get it right ... so I kept putting it off.

Then the other day I met a man, who was a stranger, but after less than half an hour of connecting and remembering each other from lifetimes, he said to me, "so how's your wolf?" Then he asked me if I knew my totem was a wolf? Well ... isn't that stuff about totems and soul mates (hundreds in one lifetime) and all of that so very true!!

It's only been a few days, but I got increasingly anxious to find a tattoo artist to draw this wolf and this dragon and combine them in some way. It really is true that when you are ready, it will appear. I have been searching for over 4 years and tonight something made me Google "combined wolf and dragon tattoo"

tattoo wolf and foxAnd now for the tattoo artist to appear on the winds of the same energy!

Let's do this!!

Undefining Unconditional Love - project me post 1039

Yesterday my assistant told me of her frustrations at needing to get some work off her plate so that the could help me to free up my time, as she noticed I hadn't blogged in a while. I've spent ages with my team, making sure they understand my passion for social media, but my soul desire to share Project Me with the world. She's conscious of my time now, but the lack of writing can't be blamed on a demand from my businesses.

When I started blogging in 2010, my family weren't thrilled because they know how open I am and had no clue what I might throw out into the world. It's taken years and a complete turn around in the dynamic of our relationships for them to trust me with my open platform to communicate. Yet, there will always be a part of my that apprehensively walks the line of knowing there are people out there desperate to not feel alone when their family is at war, and respecting the privacy of my family.

It's taken a while, but my lessons on unconditional love over the past few weeks are beginning to feel as though they are vital messages through Project Me. I'm also free enough to speak about the gist of the drama because it's got a whole lot to do with social networks and what a parent should allow their teenage children to do on it and not.

Of course, the wounds always go deeper, but now there's a huge big mess over the regard for the family when a parent allows their kids to have free reign on how to conduct themselves online. It may seem petty, but my mother is being shattered in the process and that's where I have decided to draw the line.

My big sister and I used to be at war. You know, the one that I now live with, co-parent with and miss like crazy because she's on holiday and I feel like my bestie has gone AWOL. Our war got so bad that there was a huge family divide, which was suddenly realigned when our family home burned down.
That statement should be empowering, but I think it's dangerous. Far too often we hear the message of, don't fight because one day you will need each other. One day someone will be sick or you will have to pull together for a tragedy. Be nice, stay calm, don't fight ... don't feel or speak your truth.

Well, the problem is that I've worked to hard on my Project Me journey to toss aside my personal lessons (which are my own perception) of integrity and respect.
My philosophies are simple: everyone is free to choose how they live their lives, what their values and principles are and how they choose to love. In exchange, I am free to choose whether those life values resonate with mine. We aren't all meant to be compatible! We aren't all meant to have the same understanding of happiness or morals and we all define Unconditional love for ourselves.

The very reason why I chose to become the myth breaker of "the happiness movement" is because living our truth is far more important. Defining our own principles and life values is the key that unlocks our best relationship with ourselves. And that's where worlds collide!!

I've read many definitions of unconditional love. There always seems to be a general thread of understanding that we would all be doing the same thing if we loved unconditionally. Surely this kind of love only has one way of doing it ... unconditionally! Wow, what a wake up call ... nothing goes without perception towing the line.

What I define as this ultimate form of love has a totally different dynamic to what my sibling defines it as. Reality, we are both right because we can only live the truth of what we believe. This whole blog post for one life lesson I've had to adapt to ... there are not 3 sides to a story. There is only the perception of each person's truth. There are only two sides to a story and they are both wrong and both right. Right for the believer and wrong for the person who believes something else.

I'm tired of the written. Actually, I'm tired of the unwritten too. I'm not happy with the messages I've been receiving of, "keep the peace". I'm only happy with the message that resonate with my own heart. I absolutely allow people to have their own beliefs and behave as they will, but if it doesn't fit within my principles then I would do myself such an injustice to just carry on because it's the right thing to do.

I don't think I've done too badly, considering the love I am engulfed in by so many people ...