Dear 2016, before you leave

I'm not one to end a year with much negativity or wishing it good riddance. It may be a trait I'm a little too kind with, but I don't wish anyone or anything good riddance. I'm a glass half full kinda girl and will always find the grateful reasons why things happen, relationships end, situations hurt and I struggle. With about 6 weeks to go until I can close the door on 2016, I'm in a different kind of struggle. One with a complete duality of emotions, which have toyed with me, over the course of this year. I crawled into bed a few hours ago, in the middle of the afternoon on a work day and found an online website to create my birth chart. In between that, I was my usual productive self, priding myself in hardly ever dropping a ball or losing my balance while I carry my world on my shoulders. I didn't do my chart for fun. I did it out of desperation, to try figure some answers out about what this year has been all about. What are the lesson? Why has it been mixture of amazing high moments and frustratingly low ones? Why does it feel like my world has gone slightly bonkers in 2016?

hourglass-620397_1280I know, it's supposed to be this way. Well that's what my bestie keeps reminding me of. The difference is, he used to tell me this over a glass of wine and dinner but now he tells me over a FaceTime chat, because in 2016, he relocated to the UK. Here's a perfect example of the duality of emotions. Greggie isn't only my bestie, but he's my business partner too. The low is not having the opportunity to cook him dinner or chat over dinner and sometimes I crave that. Friends promise we'll keep in touch but a whole lot of them haven't been around since Greggie left. I'm sure a lot of that is my fault too. It's been a different kind of lonely. On the other hand, we have registered our UK business, fees are in Pounds and the opportunities for us are now across continents. Amazing, right?

There's something about entrepreneurship that is hard to describe unless you have whipped away all your safety nets and create a living on more faith that skill. That's how the two of us roll and 2016 has been one of uncertainty, with the completely natural pattern of clients coming and going and never knowing what's waiting for us around the corner. It should be exciting and adventurous, but this year, it's made me tired. You know what exhausts me most? When it all works out and I breakdown and cry, in relief. Then I cry some more, because I'm frustrated with myself for not having chilled more and remembered that I teach the world about business faith.

Oh yes, that ... my book! The Holistic Entrepreneur, which I finished writing in March this year. A highlight of my life and then the polar opposite of frustration at how long it's taken to get the book out into the world. Why? I'm still trying to figure that out. Chances are the time frame is pretty normal, between proof reading, getting feedback for marketing and creating the finished product of the book. Oh wait, my website crashed in June ... yes, that's a very good reason for having to put the book on hold. I know I've been quite in the writing space, but for whatever reason, my blog needed to be infected with a nasty virus, quaranteened and moved to another domain. You see, glass half full, girl.

However, 2016 has had one theme which I never expected it to have. It's been one of disappointment and a feeing of betrayal. Boys, friends, family, ex-clients. It's a theme I can't do much about. I've spent hours under the moon, chatting to my wounded self and remind me that everyone does what's best for them. I'm sure, in their eyes, it wasn't betrayal, but merely them doing what they needed to at the time. Either way, 2016 had me perplexed and in turn, exhausted for a lot of the year.

Yet, on the other hand, I will most fondly look back on this year as the one where I became very good friends with my physical self. I quit sugar on the 28th Feb and completely changed my life. I can't say my body changed as much as I wanted it to, but my lifestyle is absolutely different and I have build a whole new relationship with me.

Reflecting on a year always seems to have a theme and before everyone starts posting good riddance to the year, I needed to make friends with. Some say it's just numbers, but I'm too connected to the moon and stars and the planets to play down the importance of a year's journey.

Dear 2016, you're not done yet, but I'm going to take the next six weeks to thank you. It may take me a while to figure all of you out, but when I raise my glass of bubbly and bid you farewell, it will be a glass half full.

How I survived a green juice and digital detox

I juiced! I napped! I read! I coloured! I detoxed ... and I survived!

I juiced! I napped! I read! I coloured! I detoxed ... and I survived!

I do love that my return to the blogging scene, after nearly six months, is with a post about abandoning the online world for a little while.

Welcome back to you and to me. Oh wow, how I have missed this space of mine. It's amazing because at one stage I wasn't sure I wanted to blog anymore. I wanted my life to get so busy that I didn't have time to share the lessons I continuously learn while living my life with courage, consciousness and a sense of humour.

I need it. I needed a break from it all, to revamp my online presence and emerge as a more solid, confident and focused writer and entrepreneur.

Amazingly, as soon as the website was up and alive, all I wanted was a break from anything online. We have been hustling so much and I've been putting in hours to make it come alive, that everything in me shut down as it went up.
At the same time, I have been keeping up my sugar free living lifestyle and loving it, but the weight hasn't shifted in a good few months. All that's been ringing in my mind is that I am waiting for my tipping point. You know, the one where we wake up everything seems to have miraculously fallen into place, when in actual fact it took years of hard work.

That's where I've been. Hovering on the expectation that it's time for the Universe to send me my tipping point. At that point, demand so much from life, when I haven't managed to take it all in yet, I knew it was time to step away and detox on every level possible.

Tonight is the most magnificent Super Moon. I am staring at the clouds after a major storm and hoping that I will get a glimpse of her. If not, at least I know she's always out there. So, I aligned my detox weekend with the moon and started on Friday morning.

When I say detox, I mean no phone, music, TV, movies, laptop and only a variety of green juices, berries and coconut in all different forms. I followed the Dr. Oz 3 day detox and shut the world out for 72 hours.

I entered into the world of social media when MySpace was still around and I never missed a day then. When FarmVille was a thing, I remember having to find WiFi spot in the middle of Italy in 2009. Twitter and I found each other and I cannot remember a day since 2008 where I ever missed being on social media for a whole 24 hours. In 2010, when it started to turn into my career, I had no option but to be online each and ever day.

I've manifested some amazing things over the years and an incredibly competent and supporting team is one of those great achievements. Chat Factory now has a content a community manager and we also have a consultant for new business development.

Meet #TeamCF

Meet #TeamCF

Before I chat about this amazing team, who I never would have been able to detox without, ?I do need to update you on some very exciting new. My Greggie, bestie and business partner, who is very much missing from this pic, now live in the UK. One of the things I did on my detox was marvel in the gratitude of how far the two of us have come and how grateful I am that Greg took me along with him and that our businesses, Lifeology and Chat Factory are now international.

Back to my detox and the first time in over a eight years that I slipped away and regrouped with myself. As an entrepreneur I am so proud of the team I have built around me. It wasn't easy to master, with a history of failed attempts at finding driven and passionate people, who want to live like entrepreneurs but work for a #GirlBoss like me. I did it. I found them. Bianca, Mpho and Vernon, thank you for allowing this captain to switch off while the boat kept steering on.

What does one do for 72 hours, with no technology, comfort food or contact with the outside world? One puts their personal relationship with themselves to the test. I started living my #ProjectMe story in 2004, when I can honestly say there was nothing about myself I liked. It took me years to make friends with me and this weekend was a celebration of how far I have come in being my own best company and friend.

Firstly, because I am so healthy, I didn't have any major detox symptoms, of which I am super chuffed. I didn't write, because that's my job. I did colour in my Digital Detox colouring book and pottered around my home, drank green juice and napped a lot. I watched the sun set and noticed little things about the world that I would usually miss. I listened to traffic and babies crying in the neighbour's home and I appreciated all. I wondered if there had been some major world news I was missing or if anyone was missing me and then I let those thoughts drift back to why I had chosen to detox in the first place.

On Monday morning my phone looked like this.?Digital Detox

Before I created a confident team around me and learned that I don't have to be answerable to everyone all of the time, I would have panicked at what I was missing while the hours of much needed solitude passed by.

Today, when the moon is full and I have so many plans for my businesses and myself, I know that I would never be able to allow anything new to flow if I din't first trust that I am not as needed as my fears have led me to believe.

72 hours and I didn't miss much ... the world was the same way I left it, my clients and friends didn't even know I was gone and those who knew to call if they needed me made a plan with everything ... while I coloured, read, napped and detoxed my body from years of memories I am so ready to leave in the past.