I've put the inability to write on this trip to rest and find myself settled into actually taking in the sea air, spending time with incredible people and surrendering to the fact that 'life happens'. I really want to say that shit happens and we all know that. On the other hand, I truly am beginning to become unwavering my belief that everything does happen for a reason. I think we screw it all up when we try analyise the reason and don't let the natural course of life show us why we found ouselves as a particular crossroad. I used to spend so long trying to figure out which path to choose, for fear of making a wrong decision instead of heading out in any direction because that's how life should be lived. Every road will lead us to where we want to go, that I can promise you.
I'm on a road right now and you have to believe me when I say that there are many days when I want to turn back, screaming and hoping to find a new direction. I want to sneak off the track and head out in search of a path that is so much easier and with a whole lot less risk. I nearly did it a few times this week. I actually nearly did it this morning but then I had three incredible reasons to never dare step off my path again.
I have been honoured to meet many inspirational people along the journey of blogging and through my social media contact. Who I was when I first started blogging is not the same person that I am and sometimes the only person who doesn't realise that is ME. One of my greatest mindset that is stuck in the past is that I am desperate for exposure. Of course we all know that we always need that exposure but there are different ways in which that needs to be generated and money was always the furthest thing from my mind. I am always so moved by the kindness of some people who just take a moment to share a life lesson of their own with you. Project Me is heading into a new phase and those life lessons are more cherished than gold to me right now. I got some of that advice from Sam Cowen, who is used to being in the public eye and who made me realise that I am the creator of my own exposure and mustn't be mislead by people who offer thinks like link exchange or the promise of 'exposure' when I am deserving of being paid for my time and expertise. Trust me ... this is a huge lesson for me.
Today that very thing happened and I got an email from someone who made it very clear that they admire me as a writer, blogger and teacher and were offering me a link exchange for my time and knowledge. Before, the chat with Sam, I would have jumped at it but today I had demon to fight. That demon that hates asking for money and is quite happy to give of myself for free because I haven't taken the time to acknowledge who I am.
Here comes the word that proves just how much I still need to see about me. "LITTLE"
I think the next time that comes out of my mouth, Greggie is going to throttle me (yes, literally). I do it all the time. "My little blog", "My little story", "My little life" and today I did the worst thing of all ... I had my first online interview from an incredibly journalist, Lindsey Kin of Media Updates and after reading it I told Greggie that I was so proud of my first "Little" interview. Well, doesn't that have to change. I am so impressed by Lindsey's?professionalism?and writing style and am a little less afraid of being misquoted (seeing that everyone scares the living daylights out of me about that). Here is the interview: There's more to Project Me's Jodene than meets the eye.
I literally have 2 minutes to finish this blog before having to dash off again, but I can't end my post without sharing my pride in a choice that my business partner made, that I am not entirely sure I would have been able to make at a time like this. It's no secret that money times are tough for Lifeology and that it is scaring the living daylights out of both Greg and myself at points, but one of our fundamental teachings is to never sell your soul. Greg had a chance to make easy money but going back to the industry that he had left behind and I was so temped to tell him that he was sabotaging his choices by not doing it. That was completely a fear based response and all I had to do with my 'project me' self was not project me fears onto him. It was hell ... trust me. After reading the specs for the job, throwing himself onto the bed with dramatic flair and having a quite conversation with himself, I watched Greg tell himself the truth and confirm to himself and me that he would only be doing it for the money and there is not room for that in Lifeology or our own integrity. Scary, but wow ... it's moments like that that make me realise just how brave we really need to be.