The end of the day ended in tears. It also ended in a gentle lecture from my best friend and business partner who needed to remind me of the physical damage I have caused myself in the past from pushing myself to hard. That was coupled with consoling from my mother that I couldn't work any harder if I tried and if I did then I was back to square one of the workaholic mania.
I can't lie. I feel a lot of the 'symptoms' returning and the biggest on of all is that nothing I do is enough. My realisation is that I have been judging my input by the response I get from the world outside. At the moment everything is based on dealing with the public, students, clients, potential clients, suppliers, colleagues (and friends even though that's not work.)
No one responds!
I spend a lot of my days in a writing bubble or planning something fuzzy and creative and there is not much dealing with the people who need to communicate back to me. All of a sudden I am surrounded by exciting opportunities and fresh ideas that I am offering to the public ? and the public do not respond back.
I know my stats. I know the marketing information I taught my students all those years ago. I know the small percentage of reach that marketers have, but I don?t know their frustration. I can?t even begin to comprehend how someone puts so much into something and doesn?t get a response in return.
I mean really, only a small portion of my correspondence is for the masses. At the moment I am sending out personal emails. The scary thing is that I know most of these people. Even more scary is that a lot of them asked me to send the information when I had it. Yet I still never get a response.
I?m not even trying to go against the grain of the natural trend of marketing and PRO, I?m just battling to adjust to it. I?m battling to not make it question my products and my approach to the world. In essence, I?m battling to settle into absolute faith in myself and I?m looking externally for recognition. Well, that?s a bit tough not to when you need the faces in the room to make a living.
Why don?t we communicate? We have so many different forms of tools to make it easier for us and yet we seem to do it less and less.
So much for the boomerang effect ? I respond to everyone, even if it?s a 'no' and I'm not getting the same response back. Maybe it's punishment for the boys I ignore on dating sites? Or the one's I never call back? Or ... oh, if only I knew I could do something different, but sadly sometimes the greatest lesson of is that the only control you have is over yourself ... that's why it's so very important to do what your passionate enough, because even then you have to deal with the rewardless moments!
PS ... do marketers have support groups where they serve tea and tell their tales of woe?