I reached for a handful of marie biscuits to nibble on with my customary cup of tea during blogging but I was distracted by the faint cry: ?No more! I beg of you, no more!? Yep, that would be my tummy that has worked triple time since Christmas day and is anticipating family braai late this afternoon.
What the hell is it about this time of year? Or is it just my family? It wouldn?t be ?project me? if I didn?t admit to the fact that there is far, far too much food dragged into this house in the span of three or four days. Every family member that visits brings a packet or two of things we don?t usually eat.
There is always an upside to every dark and dingy bottomless pit of food ? that?s family!
Somehow the whole energy of my family changes as this time. I know I promised a long time ago that I would leave the family drama out of this blog but who am I kidding ? of course there is a truckload of drama. We manage to put about 85.5% of it down over this time of year and might push it up a percentage or 2 since the passing of my dad. It?s like he?s watching and we all try be on our best behaviour. Not like he didn?t see it all happen before his eyes while he was with us ? physically with us!
I?ve really done as little as possible over the last few days and I can feel how beneficial it?s been. Um, I do repeat that I need a PA though because I totally didn?t see an invite to a pool party yesterday. Greggie has been talking about it for week now and I just assumed that I wasn?t invited because, well, I?m not gay! You know these gays and their gay parties? Well that?s what I thought anyway! Sigh, maybe my esteem does need a little boost in the friendship department because I was so invited. I still didn?t go though ? my back has been having a few setbacks. You know the one where every movement, cough or sneeze feels as though an electric shock is travelling up your spine? Oh you don?t know ? I promise, you don?t wanna.
Maybe I?ve forgotten to mention that Mercury is in retrograde again. Trust me, I didn?t even know about myself until Greggie pointed it out to me. I did have enough signs along the way that I should have known ? hence proving that it happens to you even if you are oblivious to it. Well, with Mercury stuffing up communication in every shape and form, the internet is down in the house and I can only connect, in spurts, with my Blackberry. The upside is that I?ve really shut off from the world and enjoyed it. The downside is that I haven?t been able to obsessively check my blog stats ? so I?ve eaten a little more to pass the time.
To not mention that my brother and I are about to kill each other would be totally unjust to my relationship with everyone who follows this blog. That?s my new reality and a very big one for ?project me? as it enters year two. What are my family trying to hide? So, my bother and I are screaming and shouting at each other. It?s built up to hate speech and disgusting accusation of dysfunctional personality traits. Why is that so abnormal? There we are, all gathered around my mother because we want to be. No one drags themselves here. No one is absent or estranged. My sisters all bitch at each other about the right or wrong way to do things. At the moment the hot topic is who is fatter as it draws closer to my sister?s wedding. We argue about needing to diet ? just as another sibling arrives with a bigger packet of food.
It?s family braai today, as I said, and I?m finally meeting my future brother-in-laws parents. We have been arguing about what food to have at the braai for days, yet today I am going shopping with my brother-in-law to the exact spot that my dad always went to buy meat. No one argues that my dad knew best when it came to food. There are some times when we just all agree ? and that?s what makes my family so damn amazing.
Yesterday my brother and I were about to kill each other and today there is a joined effort at making our new addition to the family feel so at home, just like my dad would have done it.
Yesterday we all moaned about eating too much but then at 10pm last night my baby sis, my brother-in-law, my brother, mommy and I gathered around the dining room table for boozed up coffee and a hidden stash of biscuits. It started to rain and the roof leaked in all the usual places. We laughed about how my dad built this house like the ?house Jack built? and then we got really sad that it?s sold and we will all be going our separate ways in the middle of next year.
It took me a year to get this part of ?project me?: If I don?t blog about my family then I only play into any perpetual shame that might linger about not being perfect, normal or loving enough and none of that is true at all. So here it is ? my family ? the good, the bad and the perfect!
Wow, if you have been following this blog then you know just how very big this day is! Well done me!
OK? This is 30 minutes after I finished writing the blog:
I forgot the bath was running while I wrote the blog (second time this week). So now there is newspaper on the bathroom floor again. The drain blocked and all this gross stuff started bubbling back up ? eeeewwww! And the kicker ? my brother and I fought because he fills the kettle to the bring for one cup of coffee and I think he?s the devil for wasting water! Karma?s a BITCH 😉