Achy breaky back - project me day 592

16 August 2011
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I gather that right now I'm sounding a little grouchy?

Well, as long as I don't sound ungrateful, then I'm still on 'project me' track.

I've missed two weeks of Body Mind Healing with Juliette and by the time I got there today I was sufficiently sore enough to feel a surge of panic. I loved her analogy: My world has shifted. Yes, I couldn't put it in better words than just that!

It's true you know ... fear and excitement feel the same!! It's also true that fear of failure and fear of success feel the same too.
Picture this ... After saying my good bye to Mr Unexpected before 7am, I crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over my head. That's my time to meditate or visualise or ... hide from the world. This morning was project hide and the more I thought about what I had to do today, the further under the covers I hid.

Mom checked on me once to see if I was still alive but by the time 10:30 am rolled on and the phone calls started, I had to face the facts ... it was time to get up! Get up and confirm exciting appointments! Get up and realise that an international company has said YES to publishing my work and I have things to get off to them! Time to get up and answer emails about information about the Jodene's breakfast ... I'm even getting requests to head out of town and do a breakfast in Durban... exciting right?

It should be, but all I am is frozen in fear. Not because I can't do it or it's all happening too fast, but because my back is sore and if you were around this time last year, you know that's no joke. It' almost a year ago that I sequestrated the L3, L4 disk in my lower back and I've never known such pain in my entire life. It took months of rehabilitation and put writing to an absolute halt. I can't go through that again, and especially not when I have so many exciting things on the go.

So if ever 'project me' has to kick into action it's right about now.
Taking care of me, listening to my body, putting me first, not panicking and reminding myself that there is no need to sabotage my happiness.

Right now my head is filled with what to include in the 'live your own project me' book and I know that the better part of it is done, but some things I'm only realising right now ... now that I'm manifesting my dreams into reality. Now that I understand what it means to be powerful enough to make dreams come true.

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