I'm sharing the grossness of my skin because it's very?indicative of how I'm feeling today. I think the frustration, drained energy and?fatigue?has finally started to surface and I need to do a few things different.
It's an interesting time for 'project me' and my me-ness! Over the past few days I have more and more signs that the tides are changing and I'm on the road to a very interesting journey.
You're lucky I didn't blog this morning because then I was a total mess. The gross skin infection was fine when it was contained to the three spots on my arm, but as I washed different parts of my body in the bath and discovered more spots the more devastated I got. It might not seem dramatic but for me it's just another ailment. It's another medical examination of some sore and after visiting the?pharmacist, it's yet another anti! This time in the form of anti-histamine.
I've been in a great space with the?enthusiasm?of finally getting down to the novel, Ephineah, only to discover that my back has been niggling as I readjust to sitting for longer periods of time. So last night I had a huge cry, feared a whole lot of repetitive pain and was so upset that I won't be able to sit the next few days and edit the novel. Hmmm ... so I had yet another anti ... inflammatory!!!
I'm feeling the resistance to blogging because there's an anti in it too ... I'm anti wallowing and it's all I feel like doing. So the blogs are a little forced, but hey, 'project me' is about not giving up and being conscious of it. Don't panic ... I haven't stopped laughing and having fun though. That's because I have my mother who finds my situation hysterical.
I've always been very anti slimming tablets and very anti putting anything?unnecessary?in my body. At the same time, I have been battling with these?imbalanced?sugar levels and don't feel that the medication prescribed by the doctor has helped with the cravings much. My weight hasn't sifted either and once again, a company has heard my cry and wants to offer sponsorship. I took the time to read up about the product today and it does have me realising that there is something different about it. It is targeted at people with diabetes and sugar issues and it is the only product with the stamp of approval from the medical board. Tomorrow I'm finding out more, I have a whole lot of questions and I will keep you posted. I've been battling with my weight loss for a few day and a lot of my battle has been to make sure that it doesn't go against the philosophy of Lifeology or what Greggie and I believe as a whole. That's interesting, because it's dragged up so issues for me and my inability to read my body and know my own needs without relying on outside support. I've also realised over the past few days that what is one man's meat is another man's poison and what might not work for Greg might very well be needed by me. So, I'm not sure just how anti I am and I have some thinking to do because I am also battling with my weight at the moment because I can't gym and am not feeling great about my body. Need I remind you that my sister's wedding is on the 13th of Feb?
We had the meeting for the children's website today and yes, there is still a lot of work to be done. I know I'm not in the best frame of mind, so ?I can't say I had the most positive outlook as much as I love the project. I'm also totally anti-elevators ... like totally anti! It's so bad that I even dragged myself up 5 flights of stairs knowing that it could damage my back. From the moment I reached the top I knew that I had not choice but to do the elevator down again. My back did not like what I had put it through. So in truth, most of the meeting I was distracted with one of my greatest fears ... in a few moments I would have to climb into an elevator. It's a combination of?claustrophobic and the fear of getting stuck and not being found. I think there is something childhood there ... lol! Anyway ... one of Lifeology's things is to do one thing each day that scares you and I certainly did a big one. I held my breath, put my head in my hands and counted from 1 ... done!!
That wasn't so hard now, was it?