Firstly ... let's hear it for my Knight who made some awesome changes to the the blog ... lighter and brighter!
My day started so well. It actually began so incredibly refreshingly that when I reflect back on the simple exercise of reawakening the editing of my novel last night, I can't believe how simple it can be.
Sometime between laughing at how poor my spelling and grammar is (considering I'm a writer) and marveling at how the novel unfolded, I fell asleep feeling extremely excited about life in general.
Did you know that what you think about before you sleep is what you will wake up thinking about in the morning? Try it sometime ... it's amazing what happens when you become conscious of it.
On of the important things that I needed to sort out in this year of 'project me' was a way of meditating without having my usual special space that I had in my own home. I've found every frustrating excuse under the sun, but over the past few weeks I've woken up and immediately gone into meditation. It has done wonders and I forgot how much I love that little time with myself. Sometimes I just lie there and watch the madness of my mind, other times I take myself on a visualisation, but for the most part I allow the 'Universe' to talk to me. I can't even explain what I mean by that. I just know the difference between my own mind jabbering away and something much less ego driven.
Well, this morning I had a very brief encounter with Miss Universe and she literally slapped me on the back of my head, reminded me of a time when I was filled with a whole lot of knowing about who I am and a lot less annoying 'miss fix my life' mode. She took me back well over 5 years ago, when I looked a little something like this ...
and reminded me of all that I did to begin the changes I knew would serve me well. It was effortless, fun and not once did I do it for anyone else but myself.
She made an interesting point (Yes ... still the Universe is talking) and reminded me that even though the light bulb was switched on all those years ago, even the brightest of bulb need changing at some point in time.
I'm not even going to go into the ways in which I have forgotten the ease with which I blossomed from the hefty girl I was to the woman I now am. It's not only about weight, but the way ... it's a buffet (excuse the pun) of areas within my life.
Today I remembered, simply, how to remember how to get back to the me that I function within best.
It was all going swimmingly well and I got past the annoyingly selfish ladies in the girlie section of the gym. I controlled my anxiety about the ever pending launch of the very long awaited pre-launch blog for the children's website. I held my upset when I went for my lazer treatment and was told by my special therapist that all I needed was patience ... I even found humour in suffering through ice packs on sensitive body parts.
But I failed ...
when it came to one annoying conversation after another with an array of men. Let it be said that text guy, Greggie and my knight are the exception ... actually they saved the whole of the male species today and left me with a few glimmers of hope.
Come on ... I'm not even the kind of person to throw people into the collective pool and I teach that each person is an individual for heaven's sake! I'm also fully aware that I am in control of my own Universe and I have attracted each person into my life that is here ... bla bla bla ...
That being said, I'm still stating that, either I'm dumb and think that the words "Come over" or "Let's do coffee" or "Let's get together soon" or "What's your number?" or ... wait ... what was the other one ... oh no ... my brain is now filled with the comeback lines to my asking when these phantom meetings are going to take place (how bitter do I sound ... lol? ... I'ts not even bitter ... I'm just trying to have fun, meet people and enjoy the single life ... which goes beyond re-runs of Will and Grace and over indulging in ice cream on a girlie night out with Baba.
Today I heard it all, from 'The cleaner threw the piece of paper with your number away" to "We really must get together for that coffee" to ... wait for it ... "As long as you know that I have commitment issues and just want to be friends" ... and this is the best of all ... The non responder ... he's the one who doesn't know how to get himself out of his bravado conversation and ignores your 'hello' on all social networks!
How's this ... text guy told me that me don't like women who are too forward. It makes them weary and makes us sound desperate ... I told him he was silly and giggled the statement off ... but maybe he has a point, considering the fact that I do take people's words seriously and am out there to meet people! Reality check, oh fearful men ... I'm not going to want to marry you tomorrow, fall head over heals in love with you and turn into a bunny boiler or bring my toothbrush to the first cup of coffee ... let's all get our ego's into check!
Here's the deal ... I genuinely like you or I wouldn't go to the trouble of talking to you or wanting to coffee or tequila with you in the first place! Take the compliment, speak with some sincerity and have a little fun for heaven's sake!
I think all those realisations and the fact that I'm still loving (day) 69 a big "woo hoo" for my 'project me' day!!