I might be blogging but I don't feel like it. I think I just feel like showing the world that I do get that low and that frustrated. I do want to throw in the towel and not carry on. I know I don't have it in me to let this feeling last forever but I usually wait to give myself a pep-talk before I sit down and blog. This is pre pep-talk!
This is me that is so pissed off with the slow process it's taking to heal. I'm frustrated that I will only be able to blog for a few minutes before my body gets tired. I'm even feeling a little ungrateful that a few days ago I couldn't even sit.
I tried to read today and that was too sore.
A guy called to ask me out for coffee and I had to tell him I couldn't go for a few weeks.
I am going to visit a family friend tomorrow to chat to her about my novel and now I don't even want to go. The thought of sitting in someone else's home and not knowing if I'm going to be comfortable is so daunting.
They security system for my car keeps going off because I haven't driven my car in so long and it's such a mission for my brother to start ?my car for me ... I hate asking favours as it is.
I'm eating two minute noodles again, that went from yum to so gross!
If I take one more tablet I'm going to throw up! Nice one seeing as though I have 2 more repeats of painkillers and anti-inflammatories to get through!
Did I mention the nightmares and weird dreams? Have I said that I haven't had one decent night's sleep in about two months. This from the girl who used to put my head on my pillow and be out for the counting in 5,4,3, ...zzzzzz
I'm actually sick of being positive!
I am sick on thinking about the power of the mind and the journey of my soul. I don't care about my life lessons and how I am teaching others along the way!
Today is the lowest of low and I am blogging about it when I don't even thing 'project me' is worth the effort and when I think this whole blog is and was a dumb idea!
This is usually the point that I get positive and I can hear my brain shouting positive messages at me already, but I can also feel my body begin to ache, so I'm allowing myself this totally down and miserable moment (not day) and leaving it at that!
Oh ... and I've lost a day of this blog so besides not wanting to blog in the future I still have to catch up a day from the past ... go figure!