So there's thing guy who has been chatting to me for a few days.
I've decided that it's time I find out the collective way that men think even though 'project me' is about doing it my way anyway.
Anyway, back to the guy.
Clearly he found me on an online dating site and it began with him saying that he was looking for his soul mate and the one. Petty soon we were chatting and he was totally fascinated by me. Our first night of chatting was awesome and chilled and so was our second one. The third one then began to get all sexual and the more I tried to bring it back to the getting to know you stuff the more he pushed. When he asked about cam I said I don't do it and he said good night.
I did give him my number and he used it to sms today to tell me that he has this dark side and although he wants to run there is a part of him that wants to stay. I answered in true style and said there was no need to run because I wasn't chasing. He then vanished for the rest of the day.
So after I had decided that he was gone for good ... he came online ... on the cheesy site and not on the more socially acceptable chat ... but anyway.
There are all the 'baby' and 'angel' and more 'baby' names callings in between reminding me how?intrigued?he is by me. Yet no matter what I talk about he drags the conversation back to sex.
I talk romance, he talks sex! I talk about the fun things I like to do and he talks ?... sex!
He says he's taking his time to get to know me and he's sitting with my number and only sms'd me!
The other side of the coin is that 'project me' is about having fun and maintaining the innocence ... I'm trying ... I really am!
Crazy ... but I like getting to know him and I know that a lot of my blogging is about reminding everyone to enjoy the experience more than the outcome ... but it's eating away at my innocence a little too much ....
If he only wants to know my erotic thoughts to get to know me could he also be just as genuine about saying he wants to take it slow because he really feels a connection and knows I'm different?
Well, to be a little crude, it sounds to me that he wants to get in your pants. Guys, in general think with their di... ah, lower parts. Having said that, a guy that really wants to get to know you may push a little for sex, but when he sees that you want to get to know each other better first, he will back off.
I dated my wife for quite a while and only really pushed when I started getting signals that she wanted the same thing.
If this guy only wants to talk about sex and if you don't want to talk about that he disappears, I would say he is after you for a toss in the sack and may very well disappear for good when the deed is done!
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Luckily I'm not in a panic that I won't ever meet anyone or won't have much more fun times between the sheets so I would rather risk losing them than jumping into bed with them.
I think I'm just annoyed that men have the ability to fake comments like 'you are one of a kind' ... and all he's thinking is 'how many compliments do I have to throw before I get my shag?'
But then you comment and I am reminded that there are very sincere and genuine men out there and they are so worth the wait.
I'm kinda hoping he's real ... all the sex talk aside he's been great to chat to 😉
If not I shall dust myself off, pick myself up and date all over again 😉
Good attitude! Tell him up front what you want and what you expect. If he is a good one, he will respect that, if not tell him that self shagging is in order! 🙂
My recent post Finding the Dedication to Go Out and Live!
Thanks hun ... it's good to feel as though I know and trust myself a little more with each experience.
Tee hee ... self shagging ... I'm using that line 😉
Well it all comes down to how much you really need that person. Ultimately right now that need isn't much at all. So... it's mind over matter, you don't mind because he doesn't matter 😉
Ah... faking comments... I'm surprised at how many people will say things to somehow win you over one way or another. But guess that's just what people do... nasty creatures sometimes.
Take the bits that you enjoy most and leave out the rest. At the end of the day it'll either keep going or he'll realise that he's not getting what he wants (assuming that he's not getting what he wants). No harm in enjoying the now.
If all else fails... can always dust yourself off... 😀 and call me for a drink!
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You see, that's why when you are just saying you are actually saying a lot of what this girl needs to hear my friend. Thank you so much for making me feel not so alone in the world and that I am going crazy. It does happen and it's real, yet I know exactly what I want ... to just have fun!
Have I told you lately that you rock? 😉
Hey, you're never alone. That's my job and for some very bizarre reason, you're the one stuck with me... 😀
Fun... gotta have it. As a friend said to me, "Lets be sure to have fun at least once a week. Make a point of doing something different and unusual." Coming from her to me is really saying something... 😛 Think we must be among the more unusual folk out there. Then again it's the normals that scare me - you know the type, those that are too afraid to do or say anything over the fear of what someone else may think or say?
yeah... I know 😉
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Well I don't think there is anyone I would rather be stuck with 😉
I know the normals you are talking about, but usually they are running a mile when they see just how 'not normal' I am ... hmmmm ... no one just wants to play anymore. LOL
Now why didn't I think of only having fun once a week. This crazy fool decided to do it every single day ... tee hee
Oh dear.... Perhaps he's just overly sexed... Great insight you've given me, though it was just the gay men that went straight to the sex talk.... Seemingly happen in the straight world to!!!
I've had plenty of those convo's over internet dating and may I add, they'll be good as online-chat friends, and that is where it ends...
I would love to sit down and compare notes on the gay and straight dating world. I don't think it's as different as everyone thinks it is. After all it's still good old fashioned human interaction ... that's a whole of sex for sure.
Hopefully being so optimistic pays off for this girl. I always believe that if I'm there looking then my equal will too, but as the sneaky universe (note how I take no responsibility) would have it, I am going to meet someone grocery shopping for peas after all these hours chatting to strangers online.
Ok for once I can totally relate. I feel sorry for the guys who really are putting in the effort for the right reasons and want to flirt and talk about sex. We don't know the context in which to take it.
I know that because you deal with sex men must think it's all you want to talk about, but I doubt that is true.
My news is that I'm single again. It's a long story and I guess I didn't choose to blog for obvious reasons. So we're in the boat together.
Thank you for being my inspiration every day. I am scared to throw myself out there but every time I read your blog I am reminded that it's fun and I know myself well enough to choose well. Or so I hope 😉
I'm sorry to hear that you are single again Jess, although you know that for whatever reason your adventures were over.
I'm thinking that if we stick together we can make sure that we focus on the fun, trust our girlie instincts and come out not too scathed and hopefully with big smiling faces and cutie, loving and genuine men attached to our divinely painted nails ... woo hoo!