Butterfly tummy mornings - project me day 122

Even though I'm reflecting on my chilled out Sunday, I can't help but be conscious of the fact that I've woken up, yet again, with those nervous butterflies flittering around my tummy. It started well over a week ago and they haven't seemed to go anywhere except around in circles, leaving me feeling a little unsettled and woozy by the time my day starts.

I think that's why I needed to have a Sunday like I did. One where I did whatever I wanted with a new found ease. The 'hmmmm' part of all of this is whether my ego is getting all freaked out that I'm no longer the workaholic and I'm waking up in a state about being chilled out. Our brains can do anything crazy enough if we let it ... so why would it be surprising if I allowed my brain to convince me that not being a workaholic is going to come with some punishment of failure and being destitute with no success or happiness. Oh yes ... the thoughts can be that crazy.

Luckily something has shifted. Well ... it's shifted on all the conscious levels, but whatever is going on unconsciously has given birth to a butterfly farm in my tummy.

Things are falling into place and weekends have become ... well ... weekends. A time to chill out, watch TV, spend time with the family, see special people and know what everything will and can get done in normal hours. Yep ... working until 3am is no longer normal for me and it certainly wouldn't have even been drawn to my attention if I hadn't have decided to embark on 'project me' and focus on the simple things like truth, happiness and fun!

Oh yes ... truth is simple!!

Anyway ... things really are happening. Today we are seeing lawyers about the terms and conditions for the children's website. My blogs and totally revamped website are so close to launching that I can almost taste it. We have courses starting next weekend and I've made it my mission to launch the sex talks next month.

On a body thing ... I haven't had cravings in a week. I've never trained so hard in my life and have enjoyed ever moment of my mom laughing at my 'ouches' with every move I make.
For the first time in my life I can say that I'm not dieting ... I can actually see what each bit of food does to my body and I only want to eat the things that will help me.

I saw a very special friend of mine last night, who happens to be in her mid 50's. Our bond is so special and we talk for hours. We have no secrets from each other and I always watch her sip on her herbal tea in order to take a moment and digest what it's like to be a single girl in the year 2010. She's horrified at internet dating, meeting people through Facebook, blogging about sex and intimate relationships for the world to read and ending relationships by deleting someone from all the social networks. She can't get her head around friends with benefits. She doesn't understand why my friends aren't setting up blind dates for me and well mannered men are not calling me for introductions and bringing flowers to my door on the first date.
To be honest ... with the romantic Libran traits that run through my veins ... I always wish for the fairytale meeting and romantic love story and I wonder to myself ... if I never doubt about making any of my career dreams a reality then why am I not as certain about my romantic ones ... hmmm ... that's cause for butterflies too. You know ... the pretty coloured ones that flutter around your tummy with anticipation of the next meeting, the next kiss and the love that ?makes one starry eyed and carry an eternal glow.

If only I could figure out if I even like that butterflies in the tummy first thing in the morning feeling ...