Can't fake it any longer - Day 35

4 February 2010
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Ouch ... You know that sore throat when even your jaw aches? Well ... welcome to my world! I'm also not a big 'rush to the doc' kinda girl! It gets even more interesting ... because I believe that everything that manifests into the physical all began from something emotional! Hmmm ... so, if my tonsils are swollen to such a point that i looks like the dentist left those stupid cotton things in my mouth, except I swallowed them! Well ... if it's the throat then it's all about the voice ... the place that the communication with the world around us happens.

Oh, you know what ... I'm actually feeling so yucky that I don't have the energy to self analyse! Now you have to know how sick I feel ... It's my second occupation to self analyse and tonight I don't really care about much else than sleeping and waking up feeling better! My mom would wish for me to go to a doctor and get any kind of medication ... but at the back of her mind, she knows that I'm the child who gets lots of sleep and lets my body heal itself (within reason - remembering that I am in tune with my body and do go to the doc if I really need him)! Sorry ... I had to throw that in because I'm not one doesn't believe in medicine and doctors and has this super natural power of the mind that cures myself. I literally let myself be as sick as I need to .. watch that I slowly heal ... and if not ... of course I go to the doc! Holy Moly ... I feel like I'm justifying ... so that's your clear sign that i get confronted with this debate often!!

I faked feeling fine yesterday for my date and today for my meeting ... I can't fake it anymore ... it's real, its sore and it's definitely made me short of words!

Well ... I do have a few things to tell you about Project me!
In a nutshell ... You know the happy 'project me' bus?? The one you've all been riding along with me .... Look over you shoulder, coz you'll see me running behind the bus! I'm the girl with the big swollen tonsils .. .can't miss me!
I can't lie ... I really feel that I fell off the bus today ... I'm sure that it hasn't helped that I'm sick and can't go to gym ... am eating poorly because I've slipped into old patterns ... an extra kicker is that it's happened at the beginning of a month where financial pressures are more and where I'm craving my own space for a whole lot of reasons!

So ... day 35 ... well ... let's just say I''m glad it's over???

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