Cooking, brewing and bubbling under - project me day 313

11 November 2010

I didn't manage to blog yesterday for a few very good reasons. Well I was actually too damn tired but I also have so much to share that I didn't want to rush it as the clock struck midnight, just in case I left out any vital details. Besides missing out on some very yummy looking cheesecake that I am still craving, I had a very eventful day.

Let's go in order of events because it's all very relevant to 'project me' and the things that are obviously bubbling under and ready to become a little more conscious. Actually, I have a little more on my mind that I might have realised and it has a lot to do with love, life and honesty.

I didn't realise that I was quite as suspicious as I am until I told Greggie that I wasn't feeling very?comfortable chatting to a guy that I had a gut feeling is married. Greggie smirked at me in shock because he seems to see a fair amount of suspicion. Here's the kicker. Now that I am aware that I am suspicious I am trying not to be so suspicious, but it's a little difficult when I?attract?the totally suspicious one. The signs were screaming trouble from the get-go. First he couldn't accept my friend request on Facebook because of some technical reason. But he was chilled enough to write to me on Facebook and connect to me on skype. That made me battle my suspicions a bit and be hard on myself about being so mistrusting. So, I chilled on the suspicion and went with it. Damn ... those bells didn't stop ringing and I started to realise that there is a huge 'project me' lesson right here.

I have to know when I am being intuitive and when I am being insecure and suspicious. Intuition is that knowing and it's not laced with all those insecurities. I can't believe how I totally couldn't tell the difference for an entire day.
Then instinct took over and nothing made sense. Truth be told ... he was a bad liar and I don't know if that's because he wanted to be caught out? Anyway, it's not about him, but about me. Have I mentioned that I can be a very good sulker?

It doesn't help to have a best friend who finds my sulky mood particularly amusing. Then again if 'project me' is all about having fun then I should be grateful that I have someone to help me turn a potentially sabotaging moment into a reason to laugh ... and eat!

I have a choice to either get in a total state that I attract cheaters or i can realise that there are many of them out there and be grateful for that instinct of mine. Sometimes I go totally into ego and think that I should be exempt from being tarnished by the deceit of the world because of my honest. Damn, life doesn't work that way.

So I stewed, brewed and was totally pissed off at this guy when I discovered that he was a total lying jerk. You can't hide from the truth on Facebook. Something or someone always gives you away. In this case it was so his wife. Little does she know that her profile is a little less closed than his ... well she doesn't seem to need to hide anything.

Luckily I had more important things bubbling under, like my healing and some cooking to do. Trust me, I could harp on about the deceit I felt for hours, but I drained Greggie with the sighs and sulking so you don't have to be subdued it for too long.

The better part of the day began with breakfast at lunch time. Luckily I was bust sulking by the manger who let the rule of 'no breaky after midday' slide and I totally had a full breakfast. I couldn't fit in a slice of cheesecake that I'm now craving and intent to hound Greggie for until I get it. It's not my fault, I still can't drive, so I can't take myself out for a slice. And I only attract married men so .. oh wait, I was over that sulking, wasn't I?

It was my 5th session of body stress release therapy and I have to say I had one of the most uplifting moments since I hurt my back. The treatment was amazing and it's always a good sign when Dan checks if the pain is surface or deeper. It is much deeper and moving closer back to the source of the pain. The better part of the treatment was Dan's?satisfaction?with my progress. He has been following my blog and complimented me on how positive I am ... we both know that has so much to do with the progress.
The catch is that I am now at a point where I have to start trying out the gym stuff I have been anticipating. I got the go ahead to hit the track ... running not allowed. But Dan wants me in the pool. Not the big one doing lengths, but the granny one at the back, doing water aerobics. It's just because it's so new and I'm not great in a costume with my bod ... but I am not stopping this healing process. ?So it's time to buy the swimming cap and goggles. I might just do that down at the coast next week.
On that note, I also got some tips for being safe with my back down by the sea. Not that I am the bravest in the water as it is, but there will be no surfing waves this holiday ... tee hee.

I have missed cooking so much that it's been bringing me down a little. Last night was my time to throw myself back into the kitchen and cook for some very special friends. 5 Queens to be exact.
I had one little moment where my back got sore and I slumped down into the office chair that I was riding around the kitchen it. ?I would have burst out crying had I not received 'the look' from my best friend. Ok, so there was no need to cry. I was cooking and had hands to help and fun to share. The pain is getting easier and it wasn't so bad that I couldn't cook ... so why cry? ?Why do anything else but throw myself into one of the things I love doing best of all ... cook!

Dinner was fabulous and I only had to fake the strain right near the end of the evening. It was well worth it because I kept reminding myself of my very special spoiling tonight. My body was quite happy to fight through the pain knowing that it would be sleeping in the lap of luxury at 93 on Jan Smuts. I am so excited to have some space to myself, even if it's for one night and to be treated like the princess that bubbles under ... ok, and sometimes bubbles over.

So it's off to pack the little overnight bag and be prepared to escape from reality ... only a few moments away from the real world!
Hope you're ready for me 93 ...

PS ... if you are in SA, don't forget to catch 93 on Jan Smuts on Top Billing tonight! Well done guys ... you did so well to make you way onto the show. Guys, there's a chance to stay at 93 ... so watch carefully 😉

7 comments on “Cooking, brewing and bubbling under - project me day 313”

  1. The meal really was special last night, my friend, especially because you were there to cook and eat it with us.

    Although your healing is not obvious to you, who has to live with it every moment of your day, I can see it clearly and I'm so proud of you for taking the long-term healing path that requires more courage and patience, but is definitely more beneficial.

    You ought to be proud of you!

    My recent post You and me could write a bad romance

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