Diary of the sleep deprived - project me post 932

11 February 2013
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I feel like I haven't blogged in ages. I mean really blogged ... gotten down the nitty gritty of what's going on in my life. I'm currently waiting to be potentially stood up by a friend for dinner, so I thought the timing ideal for a very interesting catch up. If dinner is still on, I'll be sure to let you know 🙂

Let's begin with the sleep deprived bit ...
It's been a few weeks now. I started off by waking up at about 5am, which I could still live with, but slowly it got to 4 ?and then 3am. It's those wide awake nights. The ones where I've eventually gotten my laptop to do some work or engaged in some early morning chatter to strangers on Twitter.
I did a Facebook status the other day that said I'm not worried about anything in the wee hours of the morning, but that I'm now lying awake worrying that I'm not worrying and don't understand why I just can't sleep then. I know the answer to that of course ... the distraction of the mind. After the past few months I've had, I don't blame the mind for needing distractions at all, but after waking up this morning like I had jetlag ... well something has to be done.

I value the advice of my Greggie more than anything and he suggested I take something to help me sleep. Because I hardly ever take any medicine at all, one anti inflammatory knocked me clean out. Now is a good time to mention that my ankle is sore again, so the tablet still had some purpose. It did knock me out, but I woke up feeling like a zombie.

So what to do ... and what's on my mind (good or bad)

Let's start with the obvious and work my into the more exciting stuff ...

I have discovered that I don't do anger. Like really, I empathise so much with people that I don't ever get angry (truly angry) with them at all. I have a long list of reasons why I could be so pissed off at my ex, but with each thing I think about, I assess what I knew about him and ... well ... empathise. That's on the surface of course and I'm sure that getting angry would be very good for unconscious and my lack of sleep.
Amazingly ... I just don't know how to do it!
A few people have told me to write a letter that doesn't even have to be sent. The most I can ever think about is writing one to myself because the only one I'm angry at is me. I'm angry at me for staying so long, forgiving so much, overlooking so many things ... blah blah blah! No wonder I'm not sleeping ... I have to sort this self anger out and send some very hidden anger out into the world. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

I'm looking fab and feeling fab.
Well, I'm trying to look and feel fab, but I'm still not the greatest fan of gym and my sister is steamrolling ahead in the weight loss?department. She gyms like every day and doesn't seem to fall off the rails and into a cream cake when life gets stressful. I'm getting myself a little too stressed out that everyone's weight loss journey is different and that I can do it and will do it.
I now have a very special trainer who is coaching me along and going to help me with rehab on my back ... pity I've been too damn tired to go to gym these past weeks.
I also know that the exercise will help me with my sleep and I'm doing so much to keep calm and be excited about how much I've lost and that I can be nice and fit one day .... one day!!

Then there's the excitement at work ...
I've discovered that my excitement and my state of absolute fear feel exactly the same. That's exhausting in itself and if anything I thought the roller coaster of adrenalin would know me out.
Work is happening for Greggie and I have something to do and someone to see every single day. I've done a total?re-branding?of myself and after assessing what I do during the day have finally realised that I am ... in fact ... a social media publicist.

Doesn't that just sound so sexy? Let's say it again ... social media publicist!!


Yep, that's the emotion that comes to mind in my absolute excitement.
I've already landed some awesome work ... some of which I need to sign on the dotted life for but others that I've already done and watched how damn good I am at bringing NEW MEDIA to events.

New Media ... don't you love that too???
So I did the launch of the City Sightseeing bus in Joburg last week and took 18 of the most incredible influencers to the event. I'm still working on the report, but with well over 200 people there, we still managed to generate over 40% of the online conversation.
I'm also inviting influencers to the Fire and Ice Melrose Arch sexy single's party ... well that's another story on its own but at least I'm making good with my single life.

So life is fast paced ... right?
With everything that's new and exciting or old and tiring, I guess it's fine to have a dozen nights where my head needs to sort itself out. Amazingly I can feel how much I needed to blog to put my life into?perspective.

Thanks for listening and with perfect timing because I didn't get dumped and I have dinner to go to ...

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