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I shared a post while in a momentary wobble of my overactive mind when things didn't go exactly according to plan along my nomad journey. Some friends reached out, most of them curious about what had happened, and others to give a word of reassurance. One dear friend wanted to remind me of how brave I am. Bravery is never something I question about myself. In fact, with absolute confidence, I can attest to how brave I am. However, confusing bravery and fearlessness could be more detrimental to my and your potential for happiness and fulfilment if we don't understand what happens in the mind when it comes to bravery and fear.
Especially at this time of year if you are setting out with the best intentions for yourself to tick off things on your bucket list, follow through on resolutions or turn dreams into reality.
You can go your whole life without being brave, however, it is impossible to go through life without feeling fear.
Let me tell you a helpful story about the workings of the mind. When you are born, the exact moment of birth defines the traits you are born with. In your youngest years, whilst being your most authentic but unconscious self, you're going through life testing your traits on family, friends, teachers and even strangers. At some point, a whole bunch of these traits are going to get responses that activated feelings of insecurity, shame, rejection and all those feelings that have now been programmed to stop you from bravely being your most authentic self.
You, me, and everyone else consistently have voices in our heads. There are some voices that we all share and others that are unique to who we are. I'm going to try and simplify this as much as possible because it's important to understand.
The simplest explanation of the ego is the old memories that become insecure voices of the victim and the child. The victim would have tested a trait and the response from the outside world would have made you feel victimised, belittled, embarrassed or ashamed in some way.
On the other hand, the child would have tested a trait and the response would have made you feel scared, insecure, abandoned, or incapable.
Although these are the two most powerful voices and make up the ego, they are not the voice that creates fear. That is another voice entirely and only once you understand how to use your traits to manage the victim and the child will you be able to activate bravery within yourself. Yes, this is why I'm saying that sometimes bravery is never activated because it ironically requires bravery to consciously understand the root cause of what happened to your traits through life and how it has impacted your actions and responses in life.
The voice you need to meet and acknowledge as the puppeteer of fear is an archetypical energy known as the Prostitute. No one likes the name, but it's there for a reason because when you are driven by fear you will do anything including metaphorically selling your soul. This is my opinion, but I believe even the most conscious of people will have moments where fear arises. They may be so practised in consciousness and self-awareness that they can dispel the fear easily, but no one gets away with the voice of this very protective part of the mind sending waves of fear through the body.
That is what happened to me yesterday. Logically and practically, it was hardly a crisis at all. However, because even the smallest disruption in my plans shifted my body’s energy from certainty into a moment of needing to restructure my thoughts and my day, it was a signal to the Prostitute to activate unnecessary fears to take control of a portion of my day. I empathise with you because I know you can relate and my wish is for you to understand that once you meet the different voices in your head and know how to manage them you will learn that you have the capacity to overcome fear and activate immense amounts of bravery.
My parting advice to you, from someone who chose not to know what tomorrow brings, is don't confuse bravery with fearlessness. If you're not doing something because you're afraid, then you may never give yourself the gift of knowing how truly brave you are.
In our process of transformation coaching, we have the tools to guide you to manage your fear and activate the bravery you know is tucked away somewhere, waiting to be the anchor along each step that creates your life filled with happiness and joy.
Happy Everything ...