Fake it till you make it - project me day 146

28 May 2010

I can't believe it's nearly 7pm and I haven't had one moment to blog about yesterday ... what, with all the birthday party planning.

As always, Greggie has given his friends the greatest gift of all ... a reason to forget about the world, our consciousness, our inhibitions and our baggage. He has made sure that the theme for his party brings out the best (well actually the worst) in us and that we are all sure to leave our problems at the door.

Trailer trash is an extremely?appropriate?theme seeing as though he was born in the East (which has a reputation for being the home of 'cheesy, trailer trashy and cheap brandy and coke'. Having migrated to the North (which is much more cultured ... says those from the North), he has decided to honour his love for his roots and bring the East to the North.
So, I'm not sharing my outfit with you! But I promise not to?disappointed! Here's a teaser though ... who says red and pink don't go?

After celebrating his birthday in true style, yesterday, with loads of chocolate cake, cream and ice cream ... it was hard to believe that I still can't shake my irritation and hovering low self esteem.

Isn't there always one thing that has to throw the spanner in the works and put a damper on the party? Well mine came in the package of a call from Genuine while I was getting ready for Greggie's birthday dinner. He was dashing to get ready for his dinner and so was I ... only, his was with someone he had met on the same dating site as me. Grrrrr ... Now I had to go out and be all birthday consumed when I couldn't shake the ego and the?frustration. Of course he's entitled to do what he likes, date and be out there ... but now I'm feeling that the tattoo holted us meeting and managed to give myself yet another reason to be irritated with myself.
We told each other to have a great time ... paused in?awkward silence and then said our 'goodbyes'. I still can't fault him ... he told me the truth. Isn't that just so Genuine?

My friend E is sick and has been diagnosed with an illness that isn't pleasant at all. Another friend was a the dinner that I haven't seen in ?a while. Greggie's special married couple was also there and we alway have a big fat chat when we get together ... and most important ... it was my best friend's birthday dinner ... and I felt like poo!!!

I'm blessed with an?interesting?personality trait ... it's called 'fake it till you make it' and I'm damn good at it. ?Ok, so I got asked what the hell was wrong with me? But it was only once before pulling myself together and reminding myself that everything is exactly as it should be.

Yep ... things aren't smelling of roses and the self esteem is still a little bruised. My body is completely out of what after the tattoo and the confused pms in the middle of nowhere ... so I'm giving myself this time.

Hey ... gotto dash! I'm doing the one thing that makes everything perfect in my world ... NO, not eating ice cream!
Cooking!!! Wish me luck ... it's curry and I've never attempted it before! Ssshhh ... don't tell anyone ... faking it till I make it!

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