Fear the Person Who Can Say, It Is What It Is

20 May 2024
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A friend of mine had one of those accidental moments that we all dread and can never plan for. One where we injure ourselves unexpectedly. All of a sudden, there are hospitals and body parts that are frozen in time for the mending to happen. There is pain and healing, and then the layers of frustration and limitations that come with this.

Is it unfair to say that it is different when you are a kid and not a full-grown adult with work to do and obligations to fill? That’s part of the conversation we had. The inconvenience of this happening as an adult. 

Then she told me that she had done what so many of us self-aware individuals do when we hurt our bodies or feel sick. We turn to Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I turn to it too, and, oh boy, is it accurate! I did end up getting a little "coach and teacher-like" on my friend, and then I asked her permission to share bits of our conversation with you.

The reason is, that the ego mind loves to give us tasks that we think are helpful or a vital part of our self-awareness, by spending too long pondering reasons why things happen or the lesson that we need to learn from them. That’s distracting from the real work needed in moments like this.

In my self-awareness coaching, we do a process called F.A.I.T.H. It is used as a tool to keep your mind in the present and not distracted by the past or future, where fear lies. You cannot be in fear when you are in the present moment. When you are present, you are in absolute faith.

It’s not that the ego does not like us to be listening to the rational and calm mind over the noise it makes. It is that the ego does not trust that you will remember to not repeat mistakes if you forget about the past or concern yourself with the future. So, it does everything possible to keep you distracted and pondering life lessons. Amazingly, yes, too much 'soul searching' is a ploy of the ego.

Back to F.A.I.T.H.
The A in the acronym is for Acceptance!

I stumbled upon a post that said, “Fear the person who can see; 'it is what it is' because nothing holds them back or gets in their way.”

After my friend let me know she had spent some time trying to understand why this may have happened, let me tell you what she said in a nutshell:

She was trying to figure out why this had happened to her at a time when she had so much on her plate, demanding people she needed to deliver to, and some people weren’t going to understand how this injury was going to limit her usual full steam ahead and dedicated commitment to everything she does. That last part is how I know my friend will show up for everything and everyone.

I was tempted to have a chat about what the message could be from the injured body part and the injury, but that coach and teacher in me kicked in before I could stop myself. PS: That is a hazard of being in my life. Just ask my friend.

My reply to her went like this: “I want to remind you that life happens, and in the steps of F.A.I.T.H., there is acceptance... It is what it is; what do I have the capacity to do from here? Maybe there is no great lesson except what you are about to learn about yourself moving forward and getting through this.”

Let me repeat the most important part of this: for you to use it as a way to move forward from anything unexpected, disheartening, or tumultuous, instead of concerning yourself with the lesson you need to learn from the disappointment, accept what is and turn your attention to the lessons you are about to learn:

How you are able to accept.
How you make a plan.
How resilient you are.
How you overcome.
How you manage your fears.
How you keep going.
How you get up when life knocks you down!

This is not a place of trust for the ego mind. There are voices in your ego mind whose sole purpose is to keep you in the “if’s, but’s, should haves, and could haves." This we know as the ego voice, but it’s less obvious when it is masked in a loop of searching for explanations and trying to guess the life lesson, disguised as self-awareness.

I will always refer to Louise Hay’s book to check in on how my body messages and mirrors my life, and I’m saying, keep doing it too.

The trick is to immediately take that in as helpful, insightful, fascinating, affirming, whatever it means to you.
Then ... kick straight into acceptance, which looks like:
“It is what it is ...
what is the first next step I can take?
where-to from here?
what do I have the capacity to do now?
who needs to know so I am not navigating along?
or  ... "

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