Get okay with what you've got - Project Me post 1052

I have a very dear human in my life, who I love very much, but struggle to spend time with because I can't relate to the negativity and bleak outlook on life. On the other hand, I also struggle with the ones who are always positive and don't admit when things aren't so great, because I'm a firm believer in telling yourself the truth before worrying about what the words you speak are going to do to your life path. Even if you don't say the words, the truth is ringing true inside of you and that truth will always be the balance between being honest with yourself, taking responsibility for where you are in your life and very importantly, being grateful for what you have. Even if it's broken it's a whole lot of broken, finding the pieces to build up to something greater is one on the lessons I have always wanted to share with the world as they have watched my journey unfold.

It sucks when the people you love the most don't get it. I have come a long way and don't set out to rescue of enlighten the people I have around me, but I also have to be okay with being in their presence and I'm really struggling with this negativity that's filtered into every conversation I have with them.

I have this habit of not being able to keep my mouth shut ... ever! So over dinner, once we had gone over every negative aspect of their life and they had complained about every thing from job to home to friends, I asked the questions, "what's good? What are you grateful for?"
It shattered me to hear the response, "nothing's good!" Their theory is that they have to find a new job and a new place to life, toss some friend (the list goes on) and then they will have stuff to be grateful for. I have a totally different theory.

Over the past few weeks, I have been blogging about the very dark place I found myself in. There were two ways that could have gone. I could have made a very long list of everything that is wrong, the things I haven't achieved and the chaos I find in my life or I could have done what I believe is the only thing to pull us out the shadows and into the lights.

I got okay with what I've got.

My living situation isn't ideal, but there's no one to blame except myself. I have stayed too long with mom (she knows it) and I don't have any furniture of my own, with an overseas trip ahead of me, so there's no moving out until the middle of the year. That could suck and I could be in the same space that my person is in, but I would be a shell of who I am if I didn't get okay with the space I'm in.

It started, as I start anything, with telling myself the truth. I have little space, it's shared, I have thing that I want around me (like my books and my spiritual elements) which were both shoved in packets and boxes. I packed both of them away in 2009, when I moved out of my own place, and here's the clincher ...

After being frustrated and sometimes devastated that I didn't have enough space to live the way I want to, I spent a week packing up things I didn't need, throwing away things I didn't want, moving things around, heading to the shops and buying what I needed, calling in helping hands to move, pick up and carry ... I have everything I wanted around me. What I thought wouldn't fit into the space I have now has fitted perfectly.

I took what I have to work with and I got okay with it.

Trying to explain this to my person made me realise that it took me 6 years to get, so I wasn't going to push it, but I'm going to share the fundamental message anyway.

I believe that we manifest our futures by the ingredients we have with us now. That's why I was so devastated to be stuck, unsatisfied and angry at myself. While focusing on things that I know I want in the future, that any of us want in the future, I believe we "bake" them with the ingredients of thoughts, emotions and the energy we have now.

If we move from one situation to the next, without shifting ingredients, we are only going to bake the same cake. Listening to all the moaning and complaining, but also the plans to find a new job, house, etc. sounded like a recipe for disaster and one that I realised so many people move from on moment in their lives to the next.

The same goes for the ingredient of too much sugar coating the sadness or flouring up the frustration ... ?who wants that cake?

So I went first. I tossed out all the ingredients (as well as half of the little content I own in my home) that I didn't want and I've truly made a space that's okay for now. It's not ideal, but that's my truth and also my acceptance, but I've totally changed my ingredients. I dug deep and I found what I'm truly grateful for. I got comfortable with what I have and it only pushed me to dream bigger.

I didn't wait to write this after a big shift came along so I had proof that my #ProjectMe approach works. I don't know when a shift will come, or what it will be, but I do know that it's only been a few days of being okay with where I am, what I have and what I don't have and I feel even better than who I was before my mini meltdown.

My person never got it, but that's okay. The conversation we had (yes, I did 90% of the talking) was a great reminder for me and I ran with it.

So I'm baking my future by living my present with beautiful ingredients of happiness, gratefulness, okayness and I've make the space and life situation I'm in work for me ... for now!!