After being sick and single for so long I can hardly ever begin to imagine what it must be like for my mom to not have my dad to hold after he had been holding her for 45 years.
I feel lonely lying in bed and feeling sore and its put into perspective how impossible it is for my mom to be happy on a day like today. I've been anticipating it because us kids want to make it special but the void must be so desperately sad. My dad always made the biggest fuss over mom and did everything to spoil her, we just wanted to make her have a few moments of happiness.
Happy birthday mom ... and she did it as desperately sad as she was. She got dressed and let her kids, grandkids and 2 special friends celebrate her day. Yay, it was a celebration and I know why I'm so tough. It's not only my dad who taught me never to give up, but my mom too.
I decided that today was a celebration and I was getting myself up, getting dressed and moving from the bed to the couch. It was fabulous and I can feel the progress in my body but now I feel exhauster, very sore and totally drained. I think I am getting the Dragon Solutions voice recognition software on Tuesday and I'm so grateful because just this little blog has been a drain. I've kept project me up in every way I promised, because though it all I'm still having fun ... even though laughing sends shooting pains through my butt.
Right now it's pop a few pills and rest this aching body!
Ah... those sad days that are just supposed to be happy.
Remember thinking along the same lines when my dad passed away. While a shock all round, I remember feeling mostly sorry for my mom. How can someone just not be there after so many years... after so much life.
But those of us left behind have to simply keep on smiling:
"Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile."
Or something like that 😀
xox
My recent post I Dont Want To Miss A Thing
Robbie, believe it or not that is one of my mom's favourite songs. Thank you for reminding me to remind her.