Hidden in the shadows of Monday - project me day 759

30 January 2012
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There's always something to see when the dust begins to settle of the hype. Maybe that's not true and it's just a tired, frustrated and questioning me.
I know the number of times I have said that I didn't feel like blogging and that forcing myself to was what 'project me' is all about. However, I don't think I've ever said that I didn't feel like continuing this blog and that's what has been rambling in my head as the day draws to a close and I know it's time to sit down and share another day in my life.

Another day filled with excitement, praise and plans that bring people together and make a whole lot of people happy. Another day of meetings that are filled with the possibility of all that Lifeology has to offer the world. Another day of invites to events and connections to be introduced to.

Another day of still not biting into the juicy, tender cash cow!

I have?a very special reader, who I have named Yoda, who has supported 'project me' from the very first post I wrote. That's over two years ago. I know what he's going to say. He's going to ask me, 'where's the awesomeness pill?' He's going to remind me that I'm only as awesome as I make myself and before he says anything, I'm going to spill all my frustrations so that?my awesomeness comes in the form of hearing my truth and finding the gifts. So here goes!!

I know that Greggie and I aren't the only two who constantly talk about 'the tipping point'. My dearest man, Pat, who showers me with support and encouragement, also keeps telling me that he can feel just how close the tipping point is. After an incredibly successful #FollowSA event last week and with the first radio segment of 'your project me story' this sunday on Radio 2000 ... I have every reason to be the proudest and happiest girl.

I am!

If I reflect back on what I set out to achieve when 'project me' became a part of my life, I can't help but focus on the promise to live my life with absolute goallessness but total purpose. Yep, I'm doing that!! I wouldn't want to do anything else in my life. I'm living every fibre of what makes me happy and fulfills my heart and soul.

So where's the financial reward?

The one thing that I won't say is, 'what am I getting wrong?' because I know that's the biggest trap I could ever set myself to fall into. I honestly know that I'm not getting anything wrong. I just know that there's this time called the tipping point and it's close.

It's frustrating and sometimes even humiliating. It's crazy that so many people praise all that I've achieved yet I'm still pondering how to financially benefit from it. It's tiring having to explain to everyone around me that I'm going on faith and I know ... I just know!! Most of all, it's exhausting having to remind myself on days like today.

I'm still not sure if the hidden in the shadows is the excited, positive person who is just waiting for that day to come and knows that it's filled with abundance and financial reward. Maybe the shadow is the afraid, insecure, confused and disappointed person who has put my heart and soul into living my dream and the face that the world sees speaks a whole different story.

Either way, this is what I know about shadows. Only with light is a shadow formed and those very shadows are reflections of who we are. They aren't hidden away for us not to find or see and they aren't so trapped in darkness because we are completely engulfed in light.
Between the love that I have been blessed with from Pat, the support & togetherness of this joined journey with my business partner and best friend Greggie, my incredible mother who is telling me to just keep doing what I'm doing, friends who are always by my side and a Twitter community who are waiting in the wings to help me fly ... there's no way that I'm so lost in the shadows that I can't blossom into the light.

That's the awesomeness pill for the day. That's what I dug deep to find on a day when I didn't quite know how to fake the confidence or the success. I don't believe that life ever gets so sorted that I won't always have days like these. I do believe that if I hang on to everything I have worked so hard for and don't give up just when I can feel the tipping point, that it will tip.

So it's another day ... another blog entry ... another reason to keep on fighting for another day ... another popped awesomeness pill!

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