Today was family day at my sister's new home. Little sis and her hubby have really done an amazing job at taking each step together and building themselves up to living in a stunning duplex apartment with a private pool on a river front.
That meant costumes, braai (barbeque) by the river and a day of total relaxation.
I can feel my energy slowly starting to settle into a new, more confident me when it comes to my eating and changes I can definitely see in my body. It's been for the past week and this weekend was a great shift for me. We played our monthly board games, which is usually my day to literally stuff myself and we were all on some kind of better eating mission. All except Greggie, of course but I think I survived the delicious wafting of salt and vinegar crisps under my nose. I didn't even feel like snacking on anything but fresh veggies and sticking to the feeling of being the healthy me I've grown to love.
The same went for today, where I indulged in a small amount of meat but fell into the salad bowl and loved every mouthful.
I've finally seen the great rewards of knowing what's good for me, what's a treat and when to know the difference. Because of that, it's not even like resisting anymore and in a few days time I'll tell you how I've been eating. But for today ...
I was only for family viewing and was inspired and coaxed on by mom, who is so incredibly supportive of me, so today I wore a bikini for the first time since I was about 12 year old. I would never have bought it, so mom gave it to me instead. Then after I got it, I didn't think I'd wear it for at least ... um ... well until winter rolled around and then it would be too late. But for some reason, I woke up with a touch of confidence and what better space to do some thing super brave than with your family who know you warts and all anyway.
It felt great. I still wore a top over for about three quarters of the afternoon, but it came off eventually.
As I said, I'm not ready for much more public viewing than the family but it was great to just acknowledge that my body is changing shape slowly.
Then, as the Universe always does when you show the slightest sign of bravery, I spoke to Greggie tonight who asked me if I got the invite to the pool party at the end of the month. Pool party ... holy cow I haven't been invited to one of those in years. No, that's not true ... I've managed to avoid those for years.
I'm going ... in my bikini!
I'll have lost more by then, but still, I will have to be super brave to shed all the additional layers that kinda keep me safe in my version of an ity bitsy teenie weenie bikini!
A brave, bold, project me step in the right direction ...