I'm not so old after all - project me day 512

27 May 2011
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I think the only person who can't believe that I used to be this club hopping, 4am on a school night kinda girl is me.
I started when I was 16 (I'm sure that was under age) and discovered a club called Ceasars Palace in Braamfontein. I kid you not ... it became a standard Wednesday and Saturday night thing until it got to the point that a group of us were on the VIP list and used to stroll past the crowds lining up in long queues on a freezing night like last night.

Nothing would stop us! Not even exams or broken bones. Ladies night was on Wednesdays and we would grab front row seats on the edge of the dance floor. We would wait for certain songs the whole nite and sometimes arrive home as the sun was rising because it took that long to get up on the speakers and dance to it!
I remember that one year a friend of ours gave up clubbing for Lent ... we thought she was psycho and there was a huge celebration when she returned after 40 days of real?sacrifice. It did pay off though, because she met her hubby there not long after.

Believe it or not ... I never had one comfortable day of clubbing in all the thousands of nights out. It was way before 'project me' and I was this chubby, glasses wearing virginal girl who thought that competing with size 2 chicks who got the guy was the end of my world. I went for the dancing, the b52 shooters and because I have always made beautiful friends throughout my life. Even now, as I sit here and think back, I can't think of one time when I was happy in my skin and out on the town.

That girl in me is an old friend that I no longer recognise and I only realised that last night.

So, I bitched and moaned like an absolute brat and Tweeted myself silly about it being too cold to go out and that I was too old to go out on the jol (SA word for awesome time or party). I chewed Greggie's ear off and shivered like a drama queen but kept reminding myself that in a few hours it would be his birthday and I had to grow the hell up!

Of course I'm thrilled that I went out and for so many reasons.
I'm loving getting to know people I've met on Twitter and I can slowly start to call real friends. Mike is one of those special peeps who invited us to go watch an SA band that he has been raving about. I haven't done live music in ages and forgot how much I love it. I might still be feeling too old to go to loud concerts where I have to queue for hours and stand for even longer, but last night I realised that I'm not gonna get to old for amazing SA bands in chilled out venues, with special people.

My proud pic at the top is with Mike, me and Graeme from the Graeme Watkins Project in the middle. I haven't seen stage personality like that in a very long time and for a girl whose passion lies with country music, I have to say they get full marks for stealing my heart. I loved the lyrics and I hope to interview Graeme on Your Project Me Story soon, so I will definitely include some of them.

Only when all the gorgeous girls arrived and it would have been that time for the old insecurities to kick in, did I realise just how happy I am to have taken time time to like me.
I mean seriously, look at my gorgeous friends! Oh, look ... there's gorgeous me too!

'Project me' made magic last night by not having to drag all the baggage of low self esteem out with me. I'm not a girl to look back with regret, but I am one to look at the moments as perfect and even more amazing remembering how far I have come.

In the end everything warmed up: The fingers, toes, heart and company.

Thanks to Mike for the invite and the Graeme Watkins Project for the SA pride. To Emmanuel for rocking up?unexpectedly and being so freaking special.

Last, but certainly not least ... to my best friend, business partner, next door neighbour and soul mate (in our own little way) ... happy birthday to you! So much of who I am is because of the light that you held up so that I could see who I am through all the darkness. It was one of the most precious moments to count down to your birthday and wish you a happy birthday in moments when I couldn't be happier to be me.


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