I'm sure that was on my vision board - project me day 234

23 August 2010

I need tea ... it's always a clear indication of my blogging state when I have at least 3 hot cups of tea during my spontaneously free writing spree.

I battle to distinguish between excitement and being petrified sometimes. It always hits me in the stomach and sends waves and anxiety and these false signals that I'm constantly hungry ... hence I've been eating a?ridiculous?fortune and the goings on seem to give me this license to forget that 'project me' is just as much about my body and my health as it is about my work success.

I'm sure that 'healthy' was splashed across my vision board. 'Project me' needs a step on, or rather a step back ... to gym and the healthy eating lifestyle that I have grown to love since the start of 'project me'.

Everything is happening so fast. I'm not complaining ... it might sound like I'm complaining but I think that the reality of manifesting some of my dreams is basically freaking me out.

Writing for NewsTime and surviving my first comment that was a shocker, but then bouncing back with 10 other comments that bought about debate and reminded me what I am writing for ... damn straight that was on my vision board.
I would lie if I said I had the best day ... I had a bit of a fearful one where I avoided writing at all costs.

Not that I'm at all happy that Sportsy has a sore back and has been a really brave champ who has to stay in bed and rest, but I did avoid writing when Greggie and I took lunch over ... yummy hot chips and toasted chicken.
I still can't believe that my best and dearest friend and a couple. Okay, that might not have been on my vision board, but happiness is splashed all over it and there are no words to express how happy it makes me to see such precious friends so happy in love!

So, we are munching on toasted chicken and chatting about the overwhelming moments of success that are flowing our way. In between mouthfuls, Sportsy is sharing the same message that Greggie gave me earlier today ... how my little spontaneous 'date' and kissing a stranger has shown just how much I have changed. Just how good 'project me' has been for me. Just how much I have learned about fun, trust and being in the moment. No worries about tomorrow and throwing myself into the moment has made me live the question I ask all my students ... "What's the worst that can happen?" I have that on my vision board ... that question is stuck in different cuttings from different magazines that string such an important question together.

My vision board includes so much of what I've already achieved and so much of what I know I will achieve. I get vision boards ... it's not about manifesting the exact thing that you have pasted there. I mean, I don't need the gorgeous man in my bed to have the same dark hair and my linen doesn't have to have the exact pattern, but the essence is there. The essence of who I am has nothing to do with the images and everything to do with the why ... because I am that powerful.

How powerful? So powerful that I've been determined to get what I consider to be the ultimate gig at this time in my life ... a chance to promote Organic Orgasm at Sexpo in Johannesburg. It's the annual sex and wellbeing show and it's growing by the year. I have had one eye on the messages about sex that are being pumped into the world and I have a different message to give. One that talks more about self worth than getting jaws to drop as I wave a vibrator in the air. One that reminds us that our body is a temple instead of having the crowd blush and giggle only to label that as 'not sexually comfortable'. One that shows that it's more difficult to be comfortable in the essence and wonderment of sex than in the throws of strange sexual positions as promoted by glossy magazines.
I got the call ... today I got the call. Granted, I cut the call short from shock and lay of Sportsy's floor while gasping for breathe and giggling like a girl that couldn't believe I got money from the tooth fairy.

... it's all on the vision board ... not the pictures, but the essence!