They say your biggest fears come upon you. They also say that you ... okay, it's not the whole world, but I?definitely?create chaos when there could very well be calm and peace in my life. It's not a crazy external chaos where the world looks at me as though I'm falling to a million pieces. It's the silent kind that I create in my head and that filters through to the rest of my being.
Today has been one of those days where everywhere I look there is hope, success, opportunity and acknowledgment. On Sunday I will share a very special 'project body' blog about the journey I am now on with an amazing Soul Whisperer, but in the meantime all I want to focus on is what I am accustom to doing to myself in the good spaces.
I read a Tweet the other day that said the universe was born of chaos, so when things are running smoothly there must be something wrong. I'm beginning to not like everything and hear and the pearls of wisdom from gurus and other super wise people out there.
Tonight I'm going to a gala dinner in honour of Afrika Ubuntu, spreading consciousness and awareness on the 11th of the 11th ... 11 ... 11 ... It's kinda on the other side of town and since my GPS has proved to me that it likes freaking the shit out of me, I'm a little unnerved about driving home after the silent prayer for Africa at 11pm.
This is where the advice and teachings of the Soul Whisperer step in. All I have to do is focus on the gifts I can see all around me right at this moment. My home, my cats, my mom, #FollowSA flowing with Tweets, quotes out to potential clients and a man that I love and adore ... and phoned to tell him I love him. He was in the middle of a photo shoot and I could hear that he knew I was in one of my 'airy fairy' states of having to cope with life, but he humoured me and mumbled and 'I love you' with people all around him.
The peace came in waves, but was easily distracted by my concerns of not having enough time to service the clients I'm quoting, Not being learned enough to be teaching what I know I'm great at ... so I focused on the washing that was blowing in the odd gusts of wind on this sweltering hot day.
Then it happened ...
Our new home has a real fairy garden. It's along the side of the house and is shaded by treees. We plan to turn it into a little sanctuary with a bench and I want to make a fairy village. Pat thinks I'm mad but I know he'll lovingly help me make it happen.
Because of the shape and the dense trees, the wind gets trapped (I think that's how it worked because I didn't listen much in school) and whirls around until it howls at the top of it's voice.
Now that worked ...
That stilled my mind. That hushed my ego and related to my soul.
I have always know that there is something very innocent about me and that my hard exterior (just ask Pat if you haven't seen it) keeps me super safe from feeling as though I'm being too vulnerable. I believe that whenever we take a look at ourselves, that very things we don't want to see creep up behind us. That's why the very innocent part of me gets totally swept away by the miracle of wind and imagines the story it would be telling it.
I admit ... with the pride that I took a moment for myself ... that I listened to him for ages. I leaned into my office chair, close my eyes and listened for ages. I imagined my fairy garden came to life and slowly designed it in my head. At that moment I had enough time to do all my work and still create the garden. I had enough money to pay all my bills and still buy everything for my garden. I had enough patience to carry me through my day and then potter around my garden. I had enough love to fill me, everyone around me and there was still enough to pour into my magical garden.
I've written a children's book and in it, the passes on very special messages to all the animals of the forest. A friend of mine once said to me that the book had more messages for me than I realise ... she is right!