That's my Miss Priss way of saying yesterday was an f&^*ing disaster of a day.
It was a build up from the emotional weekend that merged with the beginning of a month and reminded me of the crap financial potential of April as a business owner. There's the thing that tips you over the edge and with that, life sucks!
So yesterday I had myself a full on 'life sucks' day and tried my best to be all positive, spiritual, self helpy on myself ... and all the usual things that I do to 'project me' the hell of myself and come out the other end a happy, shiny example of thinking positive.
Sadly, I didn't want to self helpy ... I wanted my head to shut the F%^* up!!
I didn't want so solution myself to death or sit down and meditate, light soothing incense, soak in a bath and talk to the goddess within or around me ... I seriously didn't give a f?%?!!!
Nope, that didn't mean a fibre of my being was giving up on my dreams or my happiness. I wasn't having an emotional meltdown and I didn't have to re-adjust me life in any way. I just had to realise that just because I think I'm fabulous, work my ass off, pray/talk to the gods every day and know exactly where I want to be in my life, that its not going to be f&%%ing tough to get there.
FUCK the self help books!!!
Wow ... now that feels so good for a Miss Priss like me who thinks I'm going to offend a follower or lose a reader because I have days where I just don't give a fuck! Most of all, my anger was vented at all the hours of self help I've explored and lived in my life. I was so pissed off that it basically says that if you do what you love then the money will flow like a river ... it doesn't!!!!!
Self help is so 'read between the lines' ... So what you make of it ... so individual that you can't repeat someone else's formula ... so not he quick fix and so doesn't have the answers to what happens when you wake up and you just don't care ... but still know that no part of you wants to give up or even knows how to give up!
Then two dear friends each shared to important things with me ... and lucky for the Miss Priss in me ... they both have the word FUCK in them!!!
Now there was a blogging?quandary?right there ... me, Miss Priss, the girl who doesn't swear in public. The girl who tried to add the F word to my still unfinished novel and then did a 'find and replace' for the word ... the girl who seriously says 'F' when it needs to be said. But there they were, the two messages that made the first dent in fixing my spirits ...
Did you know there's a self help book called Fuck it ... ?
Indeed there is and I think it will be the last self help book I ever read in my life!!!
Did you know there's a song called I just wanna fucking dance ...?
Yes there is ... and it goes a little something like this ...
I'm tired of laughing and I'm tired of crying,
I'm tired of failing and I'm tired of all this trying,
I wanna do some living
Cause I've done enough dying
I just wanna dance
I just wanna fucking dance
Bottom line ... It feels so good to just say it, feel it ... and not give a damn what anyone else is gonna think or say! Um ... yes, that lesson took me 38 years and 830 blog posts to realise!!!!!
I think we all have those times in our life where it just fucking sucks big green donkey dicks with purple polka dots. I think the only way through them is to acknowledge them for what they are and still stand on the greatness that we are and are promised. Sometimes getting out of ourselves and helping others who have nothing, no family, no home, no job and realizing through talking to them is that they are there because they were once here and they allowed it to knock them down and they stayed there. So yeah wallow in this for a bit, just don't lay down with it and try to snuggle up. It's a snake and will bite you before you know it. Best to get up and step on its head while refocusing on your purpose.
My recent post Life Class lessons Purpose and Passion
I am a very positive person, as well, but sometimes, I just want to be allowed to be mad and this say "this sucks". You're right, sometimes you need to give yourself permission to say it. I applaud you! And you couldn't lose me if you wanted to -- LOL!
My recent post Can You Pass the Tissues?