It's all going pear shaped - Day 11

12 January 2010
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It?s late! Actually, it?s beyond late ... it?s tomorrow already and blogging is just as much a part of the commitment to ?project me? as dragging myself to the gym later this morning. Although that would essentially be a goal and if I wake up feeling totally uninspired, I shall be postponing it for another fine morning.
Hmmm .... something?s changing!

Wait, what can it be? Is Jodene actually relaxing a little and dropping the irritatingly goal driven, A-type personality?
Well, considering the fact that I am thrilled to announce that I MISSED a deadline for one of my projects today and that I?m continuing blogging (happily) even though there is a mysterious glitch on my site and I cannot share any pics with you as yet. Furthermore, I splashed out on lunch yesterday and ended it with the finest creation on earth ... ice cream! And what do you know ... after consciously watching my intake of carbs at the yummy dinner I had with tonight, (which was coupled as a meeting with my very special branding consultants) out came the ice cream. Not just any ice cream, I might add! HOME MADE! How is a girl to resist, and so my personality chilled yet again and settled into the joyous realisation that two helpings would be as goalless as anything ... but oh so purposeful.

Here?s the thing about moving from moderately unhealthy to loving and respecting your body. At first it doesn?t believe you and just like a relationship that?s too good to be true, the body sets little traps to see if you?re really as sincere, committed and in love as you say you are. So my skins gone to the dogs and the vicious cycle of too much foundation and trying to let the landscape of mini mountains along the jaw line and chin, breathe a little. I don?t think it?s been this bad since high school. None the less ... I choose healthy.

I am a firm believer that everything emotional manifests into the physical ... so I?m not gonna kid myself and say the toxins are all being flushed out of the system and screwing with my skin, when I know it?s all the communicating and speaking my truth that?s saying ?Hello? in the physical. I?m proud of me ... it?s been mammoth (not speaking the truth, because I do that, but not knowing where that truth is going and who is growing to know me through this process).

My body is also going through another incredibly trying time for the ego. According to body types, I fall into that typical pear shaped one ... you know where, as you lose weight, it goes from the boobs and waist first and your hips seem to just get wider and wider.
Luckily my body and I are good friends and I?m not afraid to acknowledge the illusion of growing hips. Patience is a virtue and I know I?ll shrink into myself soon enough ... but for now it?s easier to face the mirror sideways. 😉

How?s work, you ask?
I think one of the reasons why I started ?project me? was to make sure that I survived the upcoming months and didn?t sabotage my happiness and health, thanks to the changes that are slowly creeping up on me.
In March I officially end my partnership with my very dear friend, Baba, and leave behind the legacy of the day spa (which has not downscaled to a more traditional salon) and the recruitment agency. At the same time, I am stepping into a world where I am my own product and have the world of writing and public speaking waiting for me.

It?s going to be terribly emotional to leave my dear friend and my businesses to continue on a journey I stared nine years ago, but sadly, passion can?t be denied and Baba and I both knew all along that there was something waiting out there for me. The cracks are beginning to show though and today proved to be one of many moments where I felt as though I was abandoning ship and leaving my friend to take control of a financially strained business. A lot of my choices were based on setting the business free financially, but more than that ... everything has a season and for the longest time Baba and I have held onto a season that changed a while ago. None the less, today truly shook my foundations and I?m trying very hard to watch my commitments to myself this year, without letting go of my responsibilities to my businesses or my friend. The fine line is knowing where I?m seeing my self worth and where I am trying to rescue my businesses and friend. (Rescuing is bad ... it belittles the Soul of the person you think you need to jump in and save.) ... So this is fair warning ... the next few months are going to be rough and I can?t lose sight of the project along the way.
I had a few moments today that I just have to share with you! I will try to make it brief, considering it?s fast approaching 1am.

Greggie and I went for lunch, halfway through a paragraph of a document with a deadline of today. Don?t panic ... it was met ... after lunch, of course.

Well, I have never for the youth of today!
We went to a family nursery and tea garden and found ourselves surrounded by the magical sound of kids playing and parent?s chatting. At the table next to us, the sweetest grandparents must have thought it a great idea at the time, but when they were finally faced with the afternoon spent with their two grandchildren (about 5 and 7) ... I think they began to double their own children?s parenting skills. Well, I have never for the 5 year old who refused to eat his food because his grandfather?s looked so much better ... tantrum number one and granddad ate a chip or two to keep the piece. In steps madam (aged 7ish) who wants iced coffee and refuses to eat her food. ?What do you think I ate,? she yells, ?chips ARE food!?
I?m sharing this because, as a writer on a mission to get people to take responsibility for their lives and having taken on the challenge to teach children that very concept ... I realised just how daunting my task actually is. This little girl spoke to her beautiful grandparents as though she were 25 years old and talking to the ?staff?.
A part of me was highly entertained, another part was totally horrified and a third part (that was already battling with the realisation that my other businesses would not be supporting me for much longer and that my children?s books need to be a success) thought: ?Holy shit ... they just don?t make them like they used to!?

My second ... and absolutely fabulous story is one of making new friends in the strangest ways.
I received a facebook email today from a stranger who wished me happy new year and hoped I was well. It happens from time to time and either the person is flirting with me or has discovered my website and will need advice soon. Either way I need to be extremely polite and so I send him a warm and friendly email. He responds and we get chatting. Lovely guy who?s happily divorced and madly in love all over again ... so it?s not for flirting! He pays no attention to my career either and ignores my attempt at getting him to google me (I do that ... lol) ... so it?s not counciling! In the end the curiosity get?s too much and I ask him how he came to email me!

?Oh ... I thought you were another Jodene,? he responds casually!
Don?t you just love truth!!!

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