I haven't written for the longest time. Well, that's half true because I've created a book and whole lot more since I last wrote a blog post, which is a very different kind of writing. When I started Project Me, it was at blog post number 1 and my plan was to pick up where I left off, at over a thousand numbered posts. However, I've just had to embrace the joy of losing count, in our happiness, because happiness has no limits.
I meditate a lot and in my quiet time today, the rambling question was, are you succeeding because you are happy or are you happy because you are succeeding. In the ideal world of feeling like an enlighten human being, of course I want to say that I'm succeeding because I am happy. The truth is, one of the reasons I fell so quiet in my writing is that success hasn't been flowing as easily as I thought it would.
My book, The Holistic Entrepreneur, didn't fly into the hands of the hundreds I imagined would crave reading it and I have had a drop - not even a drizzle, but one drop - of speaker opportunities that have stemmed from it. If I were truly happy first and succeeding after, there should be more flow. The problem is, we are humans and we are loaded with emotions, which we are left to figure out as we aimlessly wonder through life.
Because we struggle to master our emotions, we turn to the easier road of mastering our heads. Oh that's an easy one, because we plot and we plan and we can keep count. Counting was vital to me when I started this writing process. Funny enough, with my vlogs, I'm still counting. I'm counting because I believe and so do the majority of us, that reaching a set goal or target is going to make us happy.
My honest truth is that I believe it doesn't matter how many books of self we read or how much we meditate, visualise and say we are conscious, it will always be a daily toil to truly succeed because we are happy first. We will always count and will always be tempted to count, and I'm allowing myself to let that be okay. It's more troublesome to the soul to try fight through all the external jargon and "spiritual" solutions we think we have found ourselves, so eventually it falls quiet and we think we are doing a fabulous job at life.
Maybe, if it's messy and we've lost count, wondering through life, from one unexpected moment to the next ... maybe that's the secret to happiness and all the rest will follow.