Let go, toughen up, get a life - project me post 1030

I have about 25 unattended emails, have just negotiated sleep time rules with my twin nephews & can still hear pottering around the room, boiled the kettle twice and haven't hugged my cats yet ... but everything has been getting in the way of my blogging. Actually everything has been getting in the way of me, so it all has to stop for while catch you up. Okay, all except the tea ... I need tea!

While making tea, I nearly got distracted by a sink full of dishes, but that can wait to. It's my average Wednesday night, nearly 8pm and I'll easily be up until 11pm with my usual tactic. I work but don't send the emails, except to one client, who I know is working too. The rest are stored in drafts until the morning so that I give the perception of not being a workaholic.

Damn ... the pattern recurs.

It's a bummer, because I love what I do, so the hours of commitment are all laced with love and missing my friend's dinners or dance classes because that's my time to catch up on me time, has been totally the norm.

Except in the process of not letting go or saying no, I have missed some special and some crappy moments.

I'm a teacher by hear and by life purpose. The shadow side of that it not being too accepting of lesson that others try to teach me, because the teacher is supposed to know it all, or learn from their own source of knowledge. That theory was going swimmingly for a while, until I really started to put Project Me into practice.

When I was on the beach holiday a few weeks back, I stood on the deserted beach and chatted to the ocean. (This is usually where people think I'm a little loopy.) I have a very special bond with the sea and in my beliefs, the sun, moon, stars, every grain of sand and the ocean have shared every lifetime with me. They know my story and they know how everything begins and ends. So I do a lot of talking to them, but that day it was a catch up with the great waters. I asked her if she had noticed the change and if she could see that I had come so far since I had been with her last. Through the crashes of the waves against the shore, I heard her pride and approval. I then went on to tell her how I had defined my dreams and what I wanted most to achieve and manifest.

She must have been listening well, because life has had whirlwind changes.

Greggie and I have launched our second company, Chat Factory is now the sister to Lifeology and is the Social agency. It's incredible how the social media side of my life has boomed, but I did tell the ocean that I needed more time to manifest Project Me into the Lifeology product I have had planned for year.

Let go ..
We have two incredible full time team members now. They fit perfectly into the dynamic of Greg and my work philosophy and both carry "Twit" in their title.

Tris AKA CreaTwit & Ash AKA Legit Twit Assist with me, The Social Twit

We have clients. We have a good few clients. We make a great team and tomorrow we are getting together to define roles and see who will keep what task when we need to add one to the team. Eeek, how very grown up this all feels. I also know that with an additional team member, the coffee table or all around one desk at a client just ain't gonna cut it and then it's office space.

While trying to absorb this all and being CC'd in on every email, having a whatsapp group for my team when they chat to the clients and well, I'm not quite sure what else sparked the conversation where Tris (not outspoken at all ... *coughs*) told me that when we sit down and chat tomorrow,we we need to talk about me letting go a little.

Holy shit ... whatever does that mean?
Well, wouldn't that just free up my time to bring Project Me to life?

Toughen up ...

This process hasn't come easily and I've had to deal with issues that I never imagined. You have to remember that I'm a big dreamer on the outside, but a carefree child on the inside. Big girl responsibilities don't gel well and I've been faced with situations where I've had to be tough with clients, my team, friends, men ... the list goes on.
The irony is, the dreams I have for myself require a degree of toughness and so once again, I can't bitch and moan when I especially asked for the life lesson.

Get a life ...

My Liesl and me

This chick, I can't tell you how much I love and admire my Liesl. I did ways before she was diagnosed with breast cancer and long before I walked the path with her from diagnosis to her process of rehab (which she's living right now).

When I say walked, I kinda mean tagged along, chased after and tried to keep up. This has nothing to do with feeling bad or not knowing I was an incredible support, but the truth is that I was working and busy so much of the time, that I missed for very vital moments when I really wanted to be by my friends side. Mostly, I didn't have a chance to call, so I would whatsapp and always keep in touch. She loves me unconditionally (thanks the gazillion stars above), and supported me as much as I needed in return.

But today she called. A different tone in her voice and outlook on life. For the first time in nearly a year, we didn't have to talk about cancer. Instead, she spoke to me about time. Time to get a life. Time to not work so hard, because we both know I don't need to. Time to do those holidays we promised we would and dinners, brunches, dancing, walks in the park ... the list goes on and on. Jumping out of planes, my L is still doing without me though 😉

The chat made me late for work, but I was okay with that. My client has such faith in me and the only clock watcher is me. Instead, I let myself run late so I could talk about plans that we both have and it played over in my mind for the rest of the day. So much so, that I put absolute offer into working with my Legit Twit Assist, because the more I guide her, the more she will fly and give me no choice but to get a life. I got home and actually stopped to make dinner, didn't check my emails while I ate with my mom and made a conscious decision to do nothing else but this blog.

I made choices ... conscious choices ... vital choices ...

Because I know that tomorrow I have to let go, which I have to be tough for ... because it's time to go get this life ...