I'm currently reading a book called, "The Dance", by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. I'm simultaneously reading, "The four hour work week", by Timothy Ferriss.
An interesting combination of reading. One very spiritual and the other very practical. One reminding me that I'm good enough as I am and the other pushing me to do things a little different. Both very much in line with where I am along my Project Me journey.
The combination of feeling so on track and feeling so far from where I want to be is all the plays on my mind these days. ?Today I decided to take some time and go shopping with my dear friend, Joanne. We usually have breakfast every Sunday, but tomorrow I'm .. wait for it ... working! I have an event that I volunteered to do, with love! So Joanne and I shopped, ate, drank wine, shopped, ate ice cream ... and talked. ?In my one statement to her, I confessed that I feel as though I'm using 10% of my potential, because of how busy I have made my life. Her response: at least I know what my potential is.
Yes, I am extremely proud to say that I know what I want from life and that I'm absolutely heading in the right direction. None of this is me complaining or being ungrateful, but it's the very essence of what Project Me is ... it's consciously looking at my life and admitting some truth so that I can make it about me and do what I need to do (without doing anything, as Oriah would try explain to me) to get to where I know I'm going .
In my conscious observation, and telling some of my close friends about the space I'm in, I've come to realise that I'm really not alone in the world when I confess that I think I have made myself so busy with other stuff, because I'm totally petrified of the very potential that I am. What will it mean when I manifest the BIG dreams? What will it entail to be the confident, outspoken advocate for my beliefs. How will I handle the responsibility of filling the big shoes that I have decided will be waiting for me?
I don't have the answers to any of this, because I've managed to the human thing. You know, that human thing, where we make ourselves so very busy, that we have no moment to spare to take the next step to greatness.
I have the best assistant a girl could ask for. I have systems in place, I have the most amazing clients and totally get how to manage my relationships with them. I don't have kids and I hardly go out (except to work events), yet, I'm so busy that I don't know if I'm coming or going. My poor assistant keeps asking me to give her more things to do and I keep telling her that I don't even have the time to hand it over to her. It's not fake busy. I don't think we create fake busy, I think we create real mayhem, that we have to work our way out of in order to truly get the lesson.
So I set out to blog every day in May. Something I used to do with such ease a few years ago. I started off reliving the rhythm I remembered and wondering my I hardly found time to blog of late.
Then it happened ...
Life ...
Career ...
Family ...
You name it, it's been genuinely consuming me. I say genuinely, because when I speak to friends, they keep telling me it's a time management thing. Trust me ... it's life!
I could go into the details, but I think each on of you can relate in some way.
So my main thing is to take from The Dance, and not beat myself up about it, but to also take from The Four Day Work Week and sort my shit out!!
I'm not throwing in the towel. I am going to try and blog as much as I can in May. I also can't blog at midnight, because a part of being kind to myself, is getting the sleep I need and figuring out a way to find the balance between getting the Project Me part of my life so right ... while not neglecting the other side of me ...
