A culmination of events, including the router for the internet connection going down, created a day worthless of any reason to smile. Well, that's what I thought until Greggie and I had to travel to the other side of Johannesburg (basically the west rand, when we live in the midst of the north). It just happens to be the only place where we were able to have the router checked and serviced.
He is in the throws of celebrating his birthday week and I am dealing with having realised that I went back to someone in low self esteem while now trying not to obsess over someone new that I want to be right, but it's way too soon to tell. Strolling through the shops with demons of my jabbering mind haunting me, there was only one thing to do! Okay ... two!
Eat ice cream ... and ... people watch.
Well laughter is so the best medicine and between the old man who held up the waiters in the restaurant because he had to whip out his hanky ?and the dude who really does have golly wog hair ... oh ... and not forgetting the bubble skirt (I'm sorry ... that fashion statement never grabbed me).
In the throws of life's crisis and feeling terribly sorry for myself, Greggie's beautiful ability to see the humour in the world burst forth as we sat in the restaurant and watched CNN on silent. The world is surely in chaos, yet I don't think there's really a reason not to sprinkle a little laughter wherever you go. I know it saved me ...
When we couldn't understand why bp doesn't just use a tampon to plug up the leaking pipe ... well that's when I realised that I might not have been having the best day ... but I did know the best medicine.
The poor men in my life (besides Genuine) were all attached at the hand of my frail self esteem and the more they tried to shower me with compliments and make me feel better, the further away from them I drifted. It totally felt as though my ego was having a pity party and flattery was merely a man's way off getting me into bed without the intention of emotional?attachment! But then there was genuine, who is just that ... who doesn't have to call me 'sexy' or try make me feel better and who just knows that I'm allowed my moments and I'll be just fine. He knows it's all about me ... and best of all ... he didn't try to fix me, say the right things or try to make it all go away. He was just him and because of that ... I had a million reasons to laugh!
'Project me' analysis: Wobbly as anything ... emotions sitting in a washing machine ... fears bouncing about ... tear soaked pillow and the anticipation of either love or disappointment!
What to do? ... Laugh!