I feel like I haven't really gotten into the "what's happening in my life" stuff for a while but there's always a reason for that. I have these waves of guilt that I'm not committed enough to my blog and then I have moments of relief that I'm not blogging daily anymore. So much of that has to do with all the stuff that's going on and the pace at which I'm trying to process everything.
One thing I truly believe is that timing is always perfect and not blogging for a while has allowed the perfection of sharing my story and a gift I received from a friend ...
Of course, the gifts always come at the end, so the here's the story first.
For once, this isn't too laced with work because things are really going well. I have a combination of social media publicity and strategy work coming in and I'm really growing into my unique space in the world. I've gone so far as to hire my own publicist and help me get the world to better understand what I do and how unique my services are. Well, I didn't realise that all on my own. It's been the message from amazing people that have helped me truly get to grips of the direction my career is heading.
That's the big news actually. It's all about the messages that I've been getting lately and what I do with them.
On a personal note, there's so much going on and I'm trying to move forward from realising that I truly was in the wrong relationship and blinded by seeing the potential of someone. I didn't realise how much it had knocked my esteem until it was time to put myself back out there but in hindsight I think that recontacting nearly all of the men from my past has some blazing realities to it. Yep, that's how I decided to handle it ... to go back. So I dredged up the Jock and whatever I called the 24 year old ... who has half?blossomed? into a 27 year old.
With all this going on I was fighting to be reminded of my beauty and my sexuality. I was hoping a rekindled flame would help mend some of my esteem and so I went on a wild goose chase for other people's approval.
With all of this going on, I cut my hair and hated it after less than a week.
Ironically, while being let down and dealing with the same old patterns from the same old men, I was getting compliments about what I looked like from every second person. More than anything, people were seeing beyond the hair cut (and I was the last person to realise how much it suits me) and seeing a real energy shift in me.
Okay so cutting to the chase of the story. Here I had two guys knocking down my esteem and dozens of friends and Tweeps telling me how fab I was looking. Yet I went on a miserable feeling sorry for me fest because in the end, both men let me down. I allowed both to make me doubt my beauty and my ability to attract the right kind of person ... so a few kilos added to my hard work, a lot of doubt and a wave of panic that I'd never hold down ?a relationships again ... and a friend sent me this ...
If you can't watch it, please let me know because it's a must see. Or go to YouTube and find Trent Shelton, you're perfect!!!
I've watched this video about 5 times in just one day and I've stopped to literally breathe in to compliments that so many special people are sharing with me. I've let go of both men (okay the let go of me, but I've felt the relief that they are gone) and I've started to feel that I truly have blossomed into a stronger, confident, dynamic ... prettier woman!!!
I've been asked to do a Project Me talk in a few weeks time and I've been mulling over what to cover in the topic of making yourself your own project me story. Of all things, I most want to share that sometimes we don't have the esteem to decide if our hair looks good or our choice in men suits us. There's a difference between doubting our own choices and relying on other's opinions to carry us through and just allowing ourselves to listen to the messages being sent to us by genuinely honest people.
It's in every compliment I never expected or asked for that both my career and my self are blossoming!!! I'm starting to feel perfect again. No, I'm starting to feel perfect for the first time!!