Before all the blogging, tweeting and social influencing I used to be an intuitive healing therapist. I loved it but being stuck in those treatment rooms for hours totally stifled my personality. One thing I never doubted was the potential of healing that the body can accept from powerful healing tools like Reiki, reflexology, crystal healing and massage.
Being both a teacher and a client on more than one?occasion, I've had my fair share of healing treatments. I know the difference they make in my life and I know how it gently steers me back in the direction of my own need to heal my body. Why is that we seem to have a block to the very things that we know will be best for us? Yes, I'm saying 'we' because I really don't feel like being alone in the world on this one.
I've gone from my charkas been slammed shut for years to having times when they were wide open and the energy was happily flowing ... and then slammed shut again. I always know when it is, not because I'm disconnected from the world, but because I feel most disconnected from myself. From the outside looking in, I always imagine everyone seeing such a together and deeply connected individual, but if you ask Juliette from Body Mind Healing you might hear a different side to the story.
When I decided to do 'project body' I knew that this would be an all or nothing process. That's why I chose to make it so public. I knew that there would be something different if I wasn't just accountable to me. In the all or nothing process a part of me knew that some form of body, mind, soul healing would have to play a big part in this because it's where I seem to sabotage myself the most.
There's something special about choosing a healer and way before I even knew what Jules did, I knew we had a connection. I need that because the one thing I don't do well at all is vulnerability.
When I get sick it's usually when something snaps in my body or explodes completely out of proportion. Jules picked up straight away that so much happens in my mind, that she was telling me to shut up in the end. I knew she wasn't talking about the words I was saying and was totally?referring?to the constant nattering in my head. I swear ... it never shuts up for one second.
Within the first week of 'project body' I had already sabotage the exercise process and will only be well enough to get back to gym after a full two week's break. Lying in the tranquil environment of Body Mind Healing and watching the mood therapy lights slowly change colour as Juliette gave me a reflexology session ... I knew that it was time to maybe start doing a few things different.
This 'hi, I'm miss tough chick with all my ducks in a row', isn't so true. 'Project me' has always been about speaking my truth, facing my fears and doing something different and only when I realise there's something I don't want to blog about, do I know that something has to change.
Of course I don't want to say that there is so much blocked energy and that my inner child has been shoved out the way while this grown-up steers the ship. It's so bad that when Mr Unexpected and my mother laugh hysterically at a joke, I read it as if it were the Sunday news. Yes, there's fun in this person but the inner child is a little too stuck on my reputation to just let go.
Family always comes up and when Jules asked me what happened at the age of 6 ... not only did I know that she was damn intuitive, but she also opened up a few things that have been hovering since I was a little girl. Most of it is all about not fitting in and in a family of 5 children when I was questioning my religion and God at the age of 6, in a Jewish home ... it's sure to cause some issues along the way.
These days, I openly tell everyone that I am protected by a dragon and I host pagan festivals for my friends at all the sabbats. For some reason, as open as I am ... there's a part of me that blocks out a whole lot more. Now that I have a man in my life, I don't want to block out anything and I felt all the bungled up issues in my heart as Juliette hovered her hand there.
I was so thrown after the treatment that I had to go visit Greggie before I ate everything in the house. Something felt all topsy turvy inside and food became that comfort again. I went a bit overboard, but did something different and dragged myself away from the fridge. From incredible body mind healing therapy to some best friend therapy and then to the man I love for some ... oh no, that's not healing ... that's what freaking me out!
Next session ... Tuesday 2pm!