Everything has managed to stall this blog today. Firstly I was exhausted from my first night at Sexpo and then there has been internet trouble the whole day so let?s hope that this post happens at some point today.
I really have to rest as much as possible today because I can?t lie that my body was exhausted at the end of the day yesterday. So ? I guess you wanna know about Sexpo?
Such fun! I love being up on stage ? am I allowed to admit that? Just give me a mic and let me talk about my passion and time flies.
Luvland have sponsored me for the talks and Juan and his team are so freaking amazing. I wondered from stall to stall grabbing toys and lube and batteries of course (secretly I?m hoping they let me keep the toys at the end of the show ? tee hee)
That?s it ? it?s out there for the world that Organic Orgasm is alive and real and I?m officially that person who teaches people the value of having a healthy sexual relationship with yourself way before you can have it with a partner. Hell, sometimes you have a better time on your own anyway 😉
My mom and I had a long chat about whether we really are responsible for every single thing that happens in our lives and she battles to understand that I know I chose to have a back problem in order to learn whatever I need to from this experience. We spoke for ages about how we choose every single thing that happens to us and at that moment I received an email from Mr Big.
We haven?t spoken in ages and our pattern is always the same ? a great night of passion and remembering the incredible bond that we have and then both of us find some reason to be insecure and waits for the other to make the call. He says he wrote on my Facebook wall to see how my back was and I said that I said he should have called. The same goes for my birthday wish ? sometimes the world of social networking is unacceptable.
The best thing I could have done was call him before my first Sexpo talk. I was feeling like I was getting up on stage and talking about all my personal sexual experiences with someone who began to feel like a stranger. He was feeling as though I had moved on and then I told him the truth ? the last night that we were together my back was already sore. I couldn?t sleep so well from the pain and in the morning I couldn?t even make the bed but I didn?t say a word to him. I?m not good at being broken! I?m the girl who fixes and who doesn?t cope well with needing fixing. He totally picked up that something wasn?t right and of course he took it personally. What a mess all because we have communication issues ? but we do remind ourselves that it?s the exact reason why we aren?t a couple and only the beautiful lovers we are. I?ve decided to use that as the term for the talks ? my lover ? I have one of those! I?d love a relationship ? but we know that?s a big part of ?project me?!!!
Of course Mr Big is so chuffed that he gets spoken about at Sexpo. On a more serious note we had that moment when we thanked each other for all that we have learned, all the fun we have had and how much we have grown (ooops ? pun ? tee hee). That?s why I?m so proud to teach what I do ? because it?s not crude or kinky ? it?s helping people know that sex is a vital part of our lives and that we all deserve beautiful relationships with our own bodies so that we can have amazing relationships with someone else?s.
I have to give the hugest thank you to Greggie who has been the most amazing business partner and best friend right now. When I get nervous I talk. What? I talk more than I already talk? Is that humanly possible? Ask Greggie ?
As always Hustle Girl is right by my side. There will never be enough of a way to express how much your friendship means to me.
Sportsy was there ? yay you!!!! And I?m so thrilled that Irvin and Risky Business are also coming to support me ? oh, and I?m thinking I should be filming this so we are trying to get organised 😉
Mommy!!! What mom loves and supports her daughter as she waves vibrators around the room while I practice my talk. She is the most amazing make up artist and does my make up for every talk. She helps me dress because of my sore back and she always tells me ?your dad would be so proud?. How lucky can one girl be?
I?ve realised that my openness in this blog is what has given me the confidence up on stage and to teach what I have chosen to embark on. Even though my body aches like hell and I?m nervous about how bad the pain will be tonight, I couldn?t be happier or prouder of myself.