It's very seldom that I swap out the ritualistic cup of tea for a cold glass of white wine but tonight calls for it. I'm going to cut straight to the chase and say that I'm battling to blog tonight because of the day I've had. It's been a hard, sad and draining one and none of the events even had a direct impact on my life. Well, besides having realised just the other day that I don't really know how I deal with anger or get angry, today whacked me with a few realisations.
It's not about the fact that I watched my sister suffer a terrible betrayal or that a whole little of little kitties got sick and my brave 10 year old nephews had to watch 2 be euthanised. It's not about believing that loyalities lie in the wrong place or that some people are ungrateful, disrespectful or cruel. Those are all my angry thoughts that emerged from a day where I watched everyone in my family cry for a reason that tore at their hearts for their own reasons.
'Project me' is a challenge to keep every day and event about me and to make sure that I stand within my truth and be conscious about the fact that everything is exactly as it should be. Therefore, the glass of wine is more than justly needed because it was a bitch of a day considering all the?strength?and awareness it took to live this 'project me' day.
I don't get angry very often at all and today I realised why. Because the options are either to burst out crying or the crazy desire to smash something. I opted to cry.
I also opted to do something that I don't think I have done with my sibling before. I spoke my truth and followed that truth too. Before I would have bitten my tongue half off but today I vented my anger at what I witnessed. I had my say and I made some harsh choices that put me first. I might have been labelled as rude or insensitive today, but I was true to me. I didn't do what I thought was right and I didn't say what I thought anyone wanted to hear. I felt anger, processed it and think I dealt with it in the only way I know how considering that I'm only meeting the angry me now.
Sadly, I didn't get to have my hair done today and I woke up with my back being too sore to go to gym. Once again, I know it all happened for a reason because I wouldn't have enjoyed one moment of emerging as a redhead and I would have most probably overdone it at the gym with the years of pent up?frustration?that is looming within my cells. The timing is perfect because I am going back to having a few healing body stress release session with Dan and I have also decided to do some other healing sessions that are more on a metaphysical level too. Just in the nick of time I'd say!
I got no physical work done today but I can't say that I didn't work the whole day.
We never stop meeting ourselves and I have known that there would be something different about the energy of this year, I just didn't think it would begin 4 days in. Put on your seatbelt Jodene, this is going to be one hell of a ride.
PS ... Hair is next Monday 😉