When I first watched Julie and Julia, one of the scenes that struck me most was when Julie and her hubby had a fight and he warned her not to blog about it. "That's pretty impossible for a personal blogger," was my initial reaction. Then why am I finding myself not blogging in absolute and open truth at the moment?
Okay, so the past few days have been wafty and distracting excuses for a blog, but when I was outed by my dearest friend Nikki who happens to be a personal blogger herself (The Lunatic Cafe), I had some truth to tell.
I have some truth to tell ...
I don't quite know where to start because I don't quite know what is going on with anything and I think that's why I've been so vague.
Obviously the biggest concern is that I've been hinting at falling apart friendships and to settle everyone's minds, it's not Greggie. It has a lot to do with him too though because everyone seems to throw us in the communal pot and it highly pisses me off. Do you know how many times Greg has been invited to events and I have been shocked that I wasnt and then when he gets there the persons asks where I am because they assumed that he knew the invite was for both of us. Um ... no ... we are not a couple! We are best friend! Huge difference people!
So ... when the fight happens between Greg and Twinkletoes, my books got returned and I got kicked off the friendship list too.
I can't explain what happens when I'm pissed off. It's this silent processing and in that moment I am evaluating how I have been treated and what I did to be treated so unfairly. It's pretty impossible to evaluate anything when I didn't actually do anything. So I'm upset! I'm pissed off and I'm confused. I'm mostly confused because now he's carrying on as if nothing happened.
Of course I didn't want to talk about this on the blog ... but then I would have to admit that I don't have the ability or balls to be a personal blogger ... and I do! And I am!
Men ... she got me on that one too! I honestly don't know what to say here either. A part of 'project me' is acknowledging that there is a natural part of myself that has flirt written all over it. I do know, however, that I have a different kind of flirt if I like someone and it's pretty hard not to miss.
First it was Inked guy who was chatting to me nearly every day (for hours) ... with sms's of "have a beautiful day" and "sweet dream" and when dinner had been put off for the 5 or 6th time and I called to say "that's it ... let's set a dinner date!", I never heard from him again.
Wait there's more ... There's the Prince who was so sweet and charming and making it very clear to everyone in the room that there was a 'spark' with "hello's" here, there and everywhere on Skype and then all of a sudden ... nothing! Well sort of nothing. Now I hear nothing more than his single life and his very vague hints at shagging other people.
No, you won't believe it ... there's more! Mr Tweet (I have never, ever found a flirt on Twitter before) starts getting very chatty and finally says that Twitter isn't the place. We hook up on Blackberry chat and Skype and messages are back and forth like a tennis final. He suggests on the Thursday that we meet on Saturday and when I ask for a time ... ?I only hear from him again on Sunday! Like nothing happened! Then it goes back to "I hope to get to know you better" and ... of crap ... did you really have to ask about men?
I can't really say much about work until I have settled a few things with the offers on the table, but that's an acceptable secret I hope. It does seem that my career path is on it's own mission and I'm slowly being guided to do what I love the most ... blogging and social networking! Hold thumbs .... I really want this one.
Oh ... and I haven't posted pics of the new house because every person who offers to help hand up pictures and light fittings just doesn't bother to materialise and I don't want to show you until it's all sorted ... but I am frustrated with it all, that's the truth.
I hope there are no secrets left un-spilled!
This hasn't been easy, of course ... but it has been true!