Talking about our feelings - project me day 612

6 September 2011

I just had to share this gorgeous pic of Hustler Girl and her Ponkie, Greggie and my mom! As always, Mr Unexpected is behind the lens capturing all these beautiful moments

It's out Tuesday night gathering and the last one before Greggie leaves for an entire month. I'm therefore very grateful that my mom is having a little work crisis at work and are running very late on, as Mr Unexpected calls it, talking about our feelings.

That's basically what it is in a nutshell. Every Tuesday night for I can't remember how long, mom, Greggie and myself get together and chat about our week. We speak about what we are dealing with, how we are handling it ... basically, it's a 'project me' debrief for me once a week.

A very big part of getting 'project me' is having that person who sees you and loves you unconditionally enough to tell you their perception of what they see.

I haven't been in a relationship in yonks and I've never lived with anyone before. I'm demanding and totally ultra sensitive and I wouldn't see myself unless I had my mom and Greggie pointing some of these things out to me.

The same goes for the successes and the places where I don't praise myself enough. I work myself into a crazy space and still don't think I've done enough and it's the greatest help to hear someone tell me that I can give myself permission to slow down.

Everything is about feelings with me and nothing is about feelings with Mr?Unexpected?and I'm in the process of learning to give him his space and not have to talk about EVERYTHING because then when I really need to talk he's gonna run a mile. It's the cry wolf of feelings I guess.

We also talk work, money and purpose and I'm excited to talk about #FollowSA and the great success it was. I'm excited to talk about truly living my purpose and all the opportunities. Oh wait, I also have to talk about the few insecurities that pop in every single day. It usually goes something like this: "WTF!!" and then it passes.

Other times it lingers and I need these reminders from incredible people to put my ego back in place. I know I have said it often enough, but I'm going to say it again ... I'm filled with gratitude. I shower myself with praise and self wowing and that's what gives me the permission to hear the crazy voices of the mind, not ever fearing that they will trip me up and hold me back.

On the days when the voices hang around a little too long, I always get given the greatest gift in the form of a comment, a hug, a Tweet ... or a thank you hamper from the Darryl Erasmus and the Crowne Plaza Johannesburg team. The unexpected is the greatest gift of all. Here I am so overwhelmingly grateful for the belief that this hotel has in me to give so generously of their space for me to play out my dreams, and they are thanking me ... wow!

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