The chicken and egg of self love - Project Me post 1067

13 March 2015
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We walk blindly along the path of self help guidance most of the time. Well, that's my belief anyway. It's only when I started questioning the guidance of the "gurus" that I started to see that there's no blanket formula for everyone. The challenge of sharing my #ProjectMe personal lessons is passing on what I've learned about discovering our own path and NOT giving anyone the path to follow.

I'm the one who wants to shove the compass into everyone's hand, point out a few important tips, like follow anyone else along the path just because you are afraid you will get lost, or who says you can't step off the edge of the cliff??

I'm currently in a Project Me space of absolute wonderment at what I have manifested for myself and with my dream trip to the USA creeping closer, I have watched how, the more I acknowledge what I have manifested, the more I know I can reach higher and dream more. My self love is soaring and it's pushing my to know I can do, be, achieve so much more.

But ... I didn't love myself enough to make the decision to go on the trip.
If you're only catching up now, I'm completely obsessed with country music and coming from South Africa, I'm also starved of being able to have easy access to it. Sure, there's streaming audio & my iTunes, but we've never had a true country artist come to SA. Most of my friends don't know 80% of the singers I dream of seeing. It's been on my bucket list for decades, to one day see a concert of any of my favourites ... just one. Mainly Rascal Flatts, Luke Bryan or my Queens of country, Miranda Lambert of Carrie Underwood.

Nearly 11 months ago, I found an announcement that had just been made, about the biggest country music festival to ever take place in the USA. Not a handful, but 50 artists over two days. I stared at the screen, with my heart pounding and my (at the time) assistant, telling me that I couldn't miss the opportunity. The ticket for one day of the ACM Awards, Party for a Cause festival was about 3 times what we would pay for a concert ticket in SA. What if I went on the one day and my dream artists were on the second? I couldn't live through that ... so I couldn't go.

I missed the self love & throwing faith to the wind, but she didn't and she made me call my business partner, who totally doubles as my bestie. We've been through crazy times with money, but he's got a good relationship with it and I sheepishly called to tell him that I want to make one of my greatest dreams come true, but the tickets alone were astronomical.

SelfLoveHonestly, I had one part of me ready to give up and the other part clinging to the hope that he would give me the permission I didn't even need. I didn't call to find out if the business had the fund or if I would be in a position to go, financially, because I knew I would. I called because I didn't know if I was ready to manifest this one.

I wasn't quite sure if I was worth it just yet!!

I called him about 4 times in the process of taking out the credit card, looking at the money that was waiting to be spent on making a dream come true, staring at the cost of the ticket and knowing that it would also entail me heading to the USA, which has been on my bucket list for as long as Willie Nelson has had long hair.

I knew I wanted it, but I wasn't the one who loved me the most to make sure I went through with it and booked the ticket. Between my bestie and my assistant, there was so much hand holding and reminding me that I was worth it, did deserve it, would be fine financially, would have someone to share it with (because I hate traveling alone) and that it was time to give myself what I deserved most.

If I had waited for the magic formula that is spoken about so often in self help, I never would have booked it. If I waited for my own self love, I wouldn't be less than a month away from seeing, not one or two, but 50 country music artists. I would never have booked tickets not knowing who I would be taking with and now I'm going with one of my closest friends and experiencing New York with her too. We're going to Nashville ... OMG, I've dreamed of this!!

This is my #ProjectMe advice ... stop staring in the mirror and chanting positive affirmations to yourself. First, go out into the world and listen to what the people who love you have to say about what you deserve and how you should feel about yourself. I believe it's then that the self love is ignited.

I can feel the momentum of self love now ... I don't have to ask my friends for permission or coaxing, but I can't say that I would have been able to do it without them seeing my worth first. Although, to want and to dream, the self love must have been hidden there somewhere, the whole time!!!

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