Today I really didn't think I was going to manage this blog but I keep reminding myself that if I can't give myself this gift then I'm giving up. I don't give up and I find it hard to believe that with the fighting spirit of so many around me, that many of us do give up. Maybe I'm just blessed by who I am surrounded by but today I had a good day in the strangest way.
I got news last night that a school friend finally gave up her fight with cancer. It's incredible that it falls at a time when Lifeology is doing our first Cup for Cancer appearance and I feel as though I am giving something back. Mel was valiant in her fight and it is supposed to be her birthday party this Saturday, now the venue has just been changed slightly. I still know she will dance a celebration for a life brilliantly lived. Her sister, Angie, has always held a special place in my heart and it's one of those friendships where we might only see each other every ten years or so but we are friends for life. She has always danced the dance of life and I know she will continue to dance for Mel.
I watched the miners being rescued one by one from the mine in Chile today and had a fleeting moment where I thought that my problems were so insignificant in comparison. I then remembered that one of my greatest lessons in life is that it's not a competition. No one suffers more than another ... we all have our pain and until we bleed and someone can physically feel our pain then it will always be our own and the worst we can experience. I did watch them dance though and it was beautiful to see the celebration with the dance of life.
Many saved ... one lost! That's life!
I, on the other hand, had a profound meditation today where it was suggested to me that I go right back to the initial tantric meditations I did years ago when I had no relationship with my body at all. I attempted one but it seemed so foreign that I let my mind wonder and daydreamed?instead. A few hours later the message was repeated ... this time by Greggie. He said almost the same thing that had been said in my meditation. It was a sign (yes, one of those) ... back to basics and learning the dance steps all over again but this time with a little more rhythm and a whole lot more dance moves.
It's amazing that feeling as though you have taken a step back is just a result of a bold step forward. Today I managed to be up and about a little and started sorting a space for my meditations to begin. I managed to sit by the computer for the first time and check emails from there and not from my blackberry for a change. I also managed to sit and have supper at the dining table with my mom. My body is aching for it but that's ok because in comparison it was a magical day.
I'm aching in my body, some people are aching in their hearts and some people ache with every thought ... by our souls never stop dancing the dance of life ... I realised that today!