The get better table - project me day 264

I've managed to find a way to type for a maximum of 10 minutes but I have some of my personality back and just want to have some fun with you guys so I've decided to do the content of my crazy life once again and here's my bedside table ... I kid you not:

From back left to front right ...

Pic of mom and daddy (I'm on his side of the bed while I heal ... thanks dad)
My dragonfae ... you know the dragon who always has her fairy and is watching over me to make sure I behave or fairy sends shooting pain into my butt with one kick of a tiny but powerful foot)
More crystal ... and more ... and oh look there's another one!
Tissue ... used ... not on gooby goo but on tears
Juice ... Why does water seem so poofy when someone is sick, but don't worry it's energy stuff
Lots of tissues ... lots of tears! This pain is a bitch so I cry, then someone is kind to me so I cry, then I get irritated with life so I cry ... then I cry for no reason
Prune flavoured purity (baby food) ... Um ... from all the tablets I can't poop so it's my sisters poop remedy
Both my cellphones ... they have run a lot less than I thought. I don't like technology sometimes. Is it just me or do we sms and skype at little too much?
Ipod ... it's an old one (nudge, wink ... birthday tomorrow!!!!)
Hair clip ... seriously, I haven't washed my hair since last Saturday but apparently the oil is fabulous for the hair growth considering crazy hairdresser cut it too short last time! I still don't look like Meg Ryan do I? ... Don't answer that!!!!
My reading material ... awesome sex book from my rocking sponsor, Extreme Hustler and Hustler Girl. It's Sexpo next Thursday and I'm doing my talks even if I have to be wheeled in on a stretcher 😉 PS ... I'll be talking at the 10pm slots on Thurs - Sat and 8pm on Sunday (Oooooh ... I get the pillow talk hours!!!)
My straw ... I'm on my side the whole damn time. When last did you drink hot tea from a straw?
Ulcer patches ... can you freaking believe that I have a mouth full of ulcers from all the meds ... bitch!!!
Rennies ... heartburn from hell!!! Um does that have anything to do with the amount of food I'm eating from the?cortisone?(double bitch)
Pain killers ... every 4 hours on the nose. I tried to stretch it but being a hero really isn't a great idea right now! Who says the drugs don't work???
Regim A day cream ... my other awesome sponsor who is saving my skins while I intoxicate it with all these meds!
Rescue Remedy ... Yes the girl is that anxious, emotional, pissed off and frustrated.
Magic Ice cream ... no, not that kind but this amazing gel stuff that feels like ice and soothes the aching in my pinched butt and calf. Bless my brother, mother and Greggie .... they have had my butt in their faces for days on end.
Oh .... you noticed the 3 slabs of chocolates did you? There is some medical benefit ... right? um ... right????
Ginger chews .... my other sister's poop remedy!!! Update ... um nope, no poop ....
Ahhhhh a card from my nephews!!! How sweet, it's a get well Aunty Jo card that's why it's so close to the edge of the table and right near my heart ....
... But never as close as my lip ice!

That's it ... ten minutes up!
What do you think ... is this girl healing according to 'project me' promises made to myself?

ps .. any poop remedy is welcome!