Today I'm over the moon because I reached my first milestone. There was no time frame and I put myself under no pressure. Okay, I cried about two days ago because it seemed to be taking forever to get there, but this morning I did it. I woke up and I was out of the 100's and a thrilling 99.7kg. For some people that's huge ... as in one very big girl, but for me, that's the thinnest I've been in over 10 years.
But ... the process has been slow and it's taken me 8 weeks to lose 8kg. I've realised that the more people know about my journey, the advice and cheers for the end result come my way. But, the end result is scary and far away for me. Maybe it's just me, but I've tried to lose weight since I was in high school and I know how very fragile my world is right, so I've focused my attention on the support that's carrying my through, one step at a time.
A good friend, a person in the same space as me, an exciting small milestone ... and a supportive bra!
All of my people have been amazing to me and they all try and support me in one way or another, but when the support gets too much or the goal seems to unreachable, I have that one good friend. That person who understands where I've come from and what will shake my foundation or what will build it. Of course that person is my bestie, Greggie, who I literally use as a filter for all of the messages that come my way. He keeps bringing me back to my journey and reminding me that everyone is different. I'm not the hugest fan of gym and at the moment I'm doing 30 ?minutes of cycling once or twice a week and 2?additional?cardio & core/weight sessions with Joni from Kilo2Kili. I'm not pumping iron. I'm not spinning. I'm not bench pressing. I'm not sweating like a pig.
I'm doing the best I can!
At the moment, the thought of training for an hour would make me want to run away and I just want to be able to wear a T-Shirt without worrying about my flabby arms, so the vision of the ripped arm gets me a little freaked out right now, but I know that one day ... maybe not soon ... I will get there. And when I forget, my bestie reminds me.
Then there's that one person who is in the same space as me. I am lucky to share my journey with two amazing people, Jono and Carol, but boys ain't gonna get this journey in the same way. That's because girl's bodies have demands ... very girlie demands. Carol and I are almost out to reach the same weight in the end. Our images of ourselves now are pretty on par and we are losing weight at pretty much the same pace. Although it's been inspiring to have people at different stages of their weight loss to motivate me, it's been even more so from that person who says, "I get you girl".
Then there's the small milestones.
When I started #projectbody I had about 35kg to lose and that's a big number. But, with a little help from what we teach at Lifeology, I'm setting my purpose and then the goal is there without a thought. My first purpose was to be less than 100kg because I knew I could do it even though I hadn't seen a double digit in over 10 years. With that milestone reach and purpose felt, I know I can do more.
Step two happens when I reach 10kg less ... no time frame but I'll keep you posted.
I may or may not have reached that number by the 25th of August, which is my other very purposeful adventure. On that night are the finals of the Miss Earth SA and I'm beyond excited because of my involvement in the regional judging. Beyond that, the founder, Catherine Constantinides?has become a great inspiration and very supportive friend and I just know that on that night I wanted to look the prettiest I've ever looked before. Thanks to Carol's belief in me, she introduced me to her designer, Vohni Muthubi, who is making me my first designer dress since my matric dance. I can't express my excitement at the support I received from Vohni, who took my body shape as perfect for the gorgeous dress he has planned. I imagined that my first fitting would be such a shocking experience but I felt like a princess just looking at fabric. Oh wow ... as little milestones go, this is a huge one and I can't to show off my gorgeous dress.
A girl needs a good bra! Wow, of all the lessons I've learned over the last few weeks, having a supportive bra has made the most amazing difference. Anita, have bra ranges for every woman of every size and amazingly, specialise is prosthesis and bras for women undergoing or who have had?mastectomies. Because the bras are so specifically designed, I've found myself falling in love with the Anita Active range. What started out as a sports bra ... oh, and I've done the bounce test in the kitchen with a handful of gay boys and they were super impressed that nothing moves. So bouncing at gym is a whole lot less stressful coz girls with semi big or big big boobs don't like them things bouncing. Yet, it's become my daily bra too and I can feel the confidence lift just because I'm finally wearing a bra that fits me right.
Any journey in life is very personal and you might not have the same issues as me, but you'll have something that I might not be able to relate to. The bottom line is that you find support, be it in a friend or a bra. We were never meant to attempt these journeys on our own but we were also never meant to walk along someone else's path ... so find your own and take the hand of someone who gets you and supports you but knows how to leave you on your own path, because they believe in you.
Happy traveling 🙂