It's the perfectly overcast morning for staying in bed, watching movies, eating popcorn while sipping on coffee and cuddling with my three precious cats. While thinking about the very welcome overcast day, I realised that every day has had its perfects as if it were created just for me.
I was with friends yesterday, nibbling on leftover Christmas lunch at Greggie's and the one said that I was either faking it or handling the breakup really well. Proudly, I believe I'm doing really well without having to fake it at all and promised him and now you that I'm not denying any emotions. I bounce around between all of them, but always come back to this perfect place of gratitude.?I haven't done this alone and can honestly say I've had some of the most perfect days in the midst of all the adjustments to the new chapter in my life. The perfection is thanks to who I am surrounded by in my friends and family.
My mom has been absolutely amazing and instead of spending some nights with my sis & her kids, she's been home just long enough to make sure I'm ready for my first night alone. I feel totally safe in our beautiful house, but it's still an adjustment to be that alone at night. She's off to my sis's on Friday until the 7th of Jan and thanks to every perfect moment we have spent together, she's helped me be so ready for one of the biggest steps (in my perception) in moving on.
Then there are my sisters. My big sis has the most open home I've ever known and I have literally moved in, kicked off my shoes, played in the pool, eaten her food and snuggled on her couch. My nephews are like medicine and I've ended every single day feeling whole and happy.
Little sis and my brother in law, well they have been so amazing to me and made sure I don't want or need anything. With a raised eyebrow my sis even managed to get her hubby to give me some of his Christmas chocolate. No part of me crawls into a hole and hides away from life, no matter what happens but it's always easier getting up and going out for a good reason and I've been excited, ever day, to spend time with them.
I have amazing friends and haven't had a day that hasn't been filled with the perfect quality time together. I've done everything from board games to lunching to chatting Chinese horoscopes and sipping on ?wine (and in my case, tea). We have even more perfect plans coming up with a new year's party and my traditional Tweede Nuwe Year (2nd new year) hot dogs and board games day. Greggie and I have been hosting it for a good few years now and I can't think of a more perfect way to start a new year.
When I'm not surrounded by the precious friends and family, I'm finding comfort in my belief system and doing a whole lot of meditations, salt baths, burning incense and focusing on the gratitude of my year and my relationship. It's making it easier to put everything down with a settled heart, and move on to creating new stories in my book of life.
I can't tell you how excited I am for next year. I have spent hours thinking about how much I have grown this year and I truly believe that the Universe rewards bravery. I've been so brave and thrown myself out into the world with such gusto that I can only begin to image the reward that I know are going to make 2013 a very defining year in my life. Remember, I turn 40 in September and I'm determined to step into a new decade having dealt with my issues that haven't let me shed the weight. 14.4kg down today and 20kg to go next year. My career is on the verge of the tipping point and my heart is on the edge, ready to free fall.
I have no doubt that it will also be a year with unexpected lows, fears and tears but no amount of wisdom or consciousness makes us immune to life happening around us. I know that all to well and because of all I have become in 2012 (and mainly with the help of Greggie and my mom ... on a Tuesday) I have prepared myself for everything to be perfect, even in the imperfections.
I would like to share my motto for 2013 with you: "Why sit at the station of hope when you can ride on the train of faith?" I'm writing that on my walls, sticking it on my mirrors, carving it into my heart and heading out into the world for yet another perfect year.