I can't believe it's Friday! I'm going to say that now and get it out the way so I don't say it every Friday while the year zooms by again. I believe that can only be a good sign. Busy, full days that doesn't allow time to drag on.
So in the rush of the week I had some really high and really low moments. The low ones are still recognising my vulnerability and having to deal with the array of emotions that comes with any kind of loss. This week a friend lost his sister, and I can't begin to imagine that kind of loss, but in those times I always remind myself that no one's pain is better or worse and so I've truly tried to deal with mine. I finally got to anger and thought I was going to explode, but after venting to the important ones in my life and finally getting some of it off my chest, I felt myself slowly let it go.
It's helped that I have been so conscious of how far I have come in my Project Me and the friendship I have finally developed with my body. I binged during the December holidays but when I woke up on Monday this week, I was back to my project and no matter what emotions I felt, I did not find comfort in food. I dropped my first tone in the 'lost a kilo' glass, went to gym three times this week and have had to half my portions because I think my stomach has slowly?shrunk.
I've had old friends re-surface and some friends be truly supportive. On the other hand, I've been flaming furious and desperately upset that some friends haven't contacted me with anything more than a half hearted acknowledgement on Twitter or Facebook. Over the past few weeks I've become a lot more expressive in my statuses and Tweets ... why not, I have profound thoughts that help me heal and should be sharing them in the true spirit of my project.
It's highlighted how special friends are for me this week and I've decided that it's time to entertain them more and let them entertain me more. I want to see them more often, go out for coffee and chat on the phone without worrying about minutes it's using on my contract.
That does bring up another?highlight? that could have been a low moment ... but I kept calm and made something good of it. So last week my Blackberry died on me again and when I took it in for service they said I would be getting a refurbished one as per insurance. Um ... no ... I was not settling for another refurbished Blackberry .. and, well, here's the whole story in a blog I did called Customer Care and Online Service done right by Vodacom. The upside is that I now have a Samsung Galaxy Note and I couldn't be a happier girl. Thank heavens for Greggie who has helped me with all of the technical stuff, but I finally know what it's like to have a decent, functioning phone.
This was my first Instagram pic, which I'm totally chuffed with. Mostly, I'm excited that I can take cool pics of my cats *giggles*
It was the first day of school for my gorgeous twin nephews and I couldn't help but shed a tear when I saw them in their school uniforms. Everyone grows up so fast, which gave me my theme song for the day, then the week and maybe the year. Of course it's a country song by Trace Adkins, which I'm sure on one is South Africa would have even heard of ...
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
In all the excitement, I've seen great opportunities for Project Me to blossom and have met an awesome guy called Tom who lives in the USA. On the other side of the world, Tom has been telling his project me story and we finally decided to collaborate and do something awesome with it. The outcome is a project me fan page on Facebook ... to start!
In the midst of all the mission statements, finding fans and coaxing people to be brave enough to tell their stories, I decided to give a short history on my biggest project of all ... my weight. I know I've posted lots of then and now pics, but non of them have shown what I looked like when I started project me in 2004 and what I look like today. I used to hate pictures and now I'm so glad I didn't get rid of all the fat ones in some low self esteem attempt to hide what I didn't want to see.
Then I weighed 124kg and it took me 8 years of dealing with my issues to finally get down to 108kg. Then last year I took a great turn in my project me journey and lost 14kg ... okay, so after the breakup I ate my way through the last month and picked up 2 and half kilos for good measure. I'm still shaking that, nearly at 15kg and have another 23kg to go till my goal wait. It's this year ... it's happening this year! Having the new project me fan page has shifted that a little and I feel I can post simple milestones instead of doing an entire blog ... which is just thrilling for me.
So in the glow of all the is great so far, it's new moon tonight and I'm back to my rituals. So it's a nice salt bath, which is great for getting the aura and energy back to 'new' just like the moon. It's a great time to visualise all that I want to achieve until the moon is full again ... but mostly, tonight, I'm going to remind myself of how far I have come and get ready for a new year, new chapters in my life and the new adventures along the way!